Mary sent a gorgeous friendship card. It had a floral plastic overlay in front which I detached and put on a cabinet door in the kitchen. It’s cool that she can get things like that in there. They certainly didn’t have cards on their commissary list in Estrella. They didn’t have half the things they’ve got. There’s so much where she is in Florida that I’m really shocked they don’t sell radios. A radio is the ultimate escape from all the noise and commotion in jail.

Tom saw a little baby bunny this morning when he got in from work. I was wondering when we’d see baby bunnies. After all, we’ve got baby prairie dogs.

I began recording some vocals again since I now have a faster computer that can sync up with the karaoke music. Maybe I’ll still end up making a CD.

In the fall, after I’ve had a few more months to buy some of the less expensive things I want, I’m going to get these weight-loss pills called Leptoprin. It’s expensive at $90 for a month’s supply, but it seems pretty powerful and promising as opposed to most of the scams out there. I suppose the worst that could happen is that it doesn’t work and I waste even more money and stay chunky, but I won’t know till I try it. Although mostly geared towards the significantly overweight, you can use it to lose 15-20 pounds as I’d like to do. It’s not recommended for those wanting to lose as little as 5 pounds. I figured it would be worth the money if I could get the weight off faster and easier without either the painstaking slowness of a regular diet or with a crash diet. With this, I should be able to keep my usual routine of 1400-1800 calories a day, plus my exercise and still lose weight. At first I was against losing weight, figuring that if I were suddenly 100-110, my body would simply reset itself back to the mid-120s in a matter of weeks due to my age, but maybe it won’t if I watch what I eat and keep up with the exercise like I try to do anyway. See, my problem isn’t just an older, slower metabolism, it’s hunger. You get hungrier with age as well as have your metabolism slow down. It takes a lot to fill me up and when I do get full, I don’t stay full for too long. This stuff’s supposed to help suppress the appetite. Tom thinks it’s a scam and that it’ll be harder for me to keep the weight off this way, but I don’t think so. It’s all the same to me. Meaning, it’ll still be a challenge either way. I’ve found that regardless of how I lose weight, if I start eating too much, it will come back. I can crash it off, I can lose it slowly, but it’ll still come back if I start eating more than 1800 calories a day. About 1500-1600 is suitable to maintain my weight at my age and height as long as I work out. If I quit working out I’d have to drop it to 1300-1400, but I wouldn’t want to stop working out. I like the muscles and feeling firm and tight underneath this mushy flab.

The only negatives to this stuff, besides its cost, is that it causes jitters, dry mouth, anxiety and insomnia, but as long as I’m not the queen of appointments like I was for the bulk of my life, I can live with the insomnia. Besides, I’m not going to be on this stuff for too long. It’s the jitters that I’m most concerned with, but they say most of the side effects go away after the first week, according to the handful of reviews from Leptoprin users I read online. My thorough research on this product looks good, but like I said, I probably won’t get it till around the fall.

I’ve got my heart and mind set on the Leptoprin and the kiln. Not even God can stop me this time! He has enjoyed seeing me fail as much as he’s enjoyed seeing me suffer, but not this time. No, this time he’s very much on my side because he has no choice! My life and body belong to me. It should’ve become mine when I turned 18, but I guess 37 is better than never at all.