Just thought I’d jot down some thoughts before I go work some more on my story. Well, I’m filled with a bit of anxiety, stress and trepidation right now, though it’s nothing compared to what the freeloaders put me through. Not even a microscopic fraction. But it’s there, nonetheless. I always knew that once God finally cleansed my life of the freeloaders, He’d replace the problem with a new one. The question is how bad will it get and how long will it last?

I know Tom will ultimately end up making good money again and that we could always find some other place to live. That’s not my main concern. What worries me is us struggling indefinitely and or being forced back to the city that never wanted to let me go. This is the worst state for city living. The houses are too close and the apartment walls are paper thin. It’s way too noisy and chaotic for me. I couldn’t stand to deal with it all over again – the slamming doors, the loud stereos thumping, the screaming kids, the endless ball-bouncing games, the barking dogs, etc.

As of yesterday, I got used to the treadmill again. I could walk on it indefinitely, but not only is more not better, but I also don’t want to walk too much because it’ll just make me hungry and I’ll just end up replacing the calories I burned. If I’m going to stay 30 pounds overweight and not become 40, 50 or even more pounds overweight, I need to do something, but it doesn’t have to be a case of overkill either. I’m only walking 20-30 minutes a day, along with my arm and ab exercises. I’m 127 and I’m determined to stay there. I’ll never be the 100, 105, 110 or even the 115 I’d settle for, but I’m going to fight one last time to keep from comfortably settling into the 130s, then the 140s and so on and so forth. It’s my body, damn it, and I should be the one driving it!

Later…

Wow, I just felt and heard a huge sonic boom. They don’t usually do that at this hour either. I’m glad I was awake when that one hit. See, I worry about that as far as moving further out goes. If they can still fly over a rapidly growing community, even if it’s not that often anymore, then they certainly can fly over Nowhere Land.

I found one of the 7 mice I now have dead and one sick, so that’s not good. Hopefully, the rest will pull through.

Still no mail from Mary, though I decided to send both her and Paula letters. I even enclosed one of the incense sticks I didn’t like in Paula’s letter. Hopefully, it’ll get to her intact. I’ll call to find out at some point.

I was teasing her on the phone the other day and insisting that she’s suffering from “Ricanitis” because of how she likes PRs.

Incense Galore had always been good about answering my questions, but when I asked if the stuff leaves stains or soot over time, I got no response. This makes me think the answer could be yes. The stuff still hasn’t bothered my lungs or nose, but it sometimes irritates my eyes. Last night they felt like I’d been crying.

Michael Jackson’s being charged with child molestation again. This doesn’t surprise me. He’s quite a dedicated little pedophile. However, he has the 4 most important things in his favor and that’s his color, his gender, his fame and his fortune. He’ll get off even though he claims that he had been helping this family for a while and the more generous he was, the more they took advantage of him, so he cut them off and now they’re spiting him.

Tom agrees with me that guilty or not he’ll get off, but he also reminded me of the fact that we’re going through a time where they’re really cracking the whip on crimes against children, which led to a discussion about the cycles and trends society seems to go through. While people’s priorities may fluctuate over time, one thing sadly remains the same and that’s that everybody wants everybody else to be just like them. In other words, they may not be so quick to drug up minors like they were in the past, thinking that some magic pill would solve all their problems, but they’re on a big kick right now to dope up adults with ADD. As Tom pointed out, people are supposed to be different and they just can’t seem to get that through their thick skulls. You simply can’t make people take pills to get them to be carbon copies of one another. I can see drugging or punishing those who hurt other people, but it’s like me and blacks for example. I hate them in general and I’m sure I always will. However, I don’t go around insisting that something be done to make them just like me. I simply do my best to avoid them as much as I can instead.

Having the kind of parents I had, I can truly say that I was definitely a kid in the wrong era. It was perfectly legal to beat your kids on up till around the 90s. My mother could’ve slapped me silly in front of a cop and nothing would’ve happened. Especially in a town like Longmeadow. How I wish someone had cared enough about me to help me! So many people knew what was going on, too. It was no secret. Then again, what difference would it have made? I’d just have ended up in foster homes, funny farms and schools that were even worse sooner than I eventually did.