Today didn’t start off too great. The sleep curse lives on. I figured as much anyway. At least till we get in the house. After just 4 hours of sleep, I woke up shivering my ass off. It was 57º in here. Ugh! So we warmed it up 10º after it took forever to get the heater to work. Then I had trouble falling back asleep, and when I finally did, I woke back up in no time because the sun rose fast, making it too hot. I hate these 30-degree fluctuations! Especially when you don’t live in a real house. Trying to keep the place comfortable is hard.

Fortunately, I had lots of sleep the night before so I wouldn’t be overly tired when we went to the mailbox, Denny’s, Safeway, the library, and the Work Connection.

I got quite a surprise in the mail as well as something that had me a little riled up, but first, I’m worried about Tom and his overeating. He’s literally eating till he gets sick! Not puking sick, but close enough. He seems to be doing this more and more. He says he’ll stop, but I know all too well how breaking addictions and bad habits can be much easier said than done! I wish I could bring myself to eat less, too. Not because I’m sick, but because I’m doomed to get fatter and fatter little by little if I keep it up. I know I can’t lose weight, but must it be such an ordeal keeping 30 pounds overweight? Most people end up 50 pounds overweight when they get older, so that’s part of why it’s such a struggle; I just never maxed out.

It’s storming again right now, but there’s been no rain so far. Just wind, thunder and lightning. Tom put more sealant where it leaks, but I’m sure it still will anyway, whenever it does rain hard enough, as curses are hard to break.

We have both military and commercial jets that fly over us. After the lady at the bank told us where the base is that the military jets fly out of, Tom said they won’t fly supersonic over us because it takes time to get up to supersonic speed which they couldn’t yet achieve once they’ve reached where we are. I hope he’s right!

The chipmunks here are way braver than the prairie dogs. I’m going to get awesome pictures of them when I can. They’re so cute!

To my surprise, the spider plant is recovering nicely, but the big leaf plant is still in pretty bad shock and isn’t looking like it’s going to make it.

Let me cover today’s stops before I get to what came in the mail.

At the library, I typed/printed a letter to Mary. It was 10¢ a page and I had 2 pages. Not only is their expensive landline connection super-fast, but they also have a super-fast-printing laserjet, too. It’s a good thing it wasn’t regular ink, though. I threw it on the floor in front of my seat in the truck and condensation from the AC dripped onto it. Had it been ink, it would’ve smudged.

I also browsed through a Spanish book and understood almost everything I read!

Tom went to the Work Connection and grabbed about a dozen job listings they had printed up. Things are closed on Monday, the day after July 4th, but by the next day, his black eye ought to be healed. That’s the day he’ll go to a temp agency. If they have nothing available, then he’ll get applications going for some of these clerical/computer data entry jobs.

Pizza Hut is between the library and the Work Connection. When we went to go to the truck, we saw 3 squad cars parked by Pizza Hut just minutes after I’d used their bathroom and I wonder – did they get robbed right after I left? Or maybe it was an employee dispute or a drunk and disorderly customer they couldn’t get rid of themselves.

The shocking thing to come in the mail was a card/letter from Mom. Not surprisingly, there was no money enclosed. It’s nice that she wrote, but it still pisses me off to see her go play all day in daycare, then go home to be pampered and waited on hand and foot while we could use a few of the 100 or so G’s she’s got. And she KNOWS we could use it. It was almost cruel of her to brag about the picture of a flower she made in art class that she sold for $10 when we’re so in need of money, the story of our lives!

This card proves Tom wrong in saying Mom can’t write. It’s shaky but plenty legible enough. In fact, it’s easier to read than Mary’s writing. So, if my gut instinct was right when I insisted she really could write, why would I be wrong in saying she’s my folk’s little informant?

Anyway, she said she got my nice long letter and was glad we both like Oregon, sure there are a few things that take time to get used to, but we’re young and can take it. She hopes jobs are available and says that maybe I could ride with Tom to work so I won’t have to be alone so much (I wish I could be alone for once!) I’m going to just go ahead and tell her I got a job in town simply because it’s what women do these days. Normally I don’t put up fronts or put on shows for others and I am who I am, but because this is someone who has money we so desperately need, I’m willing to say what sounds good and spin a tall tale or two.

Mom said she was shocked that no friends or relatives came to the little art festival they had. Yeah? Well, maybe they’re just sick of her selfishness! I mean, she gives us $500, and sure that’s something, but she has brains enough to know we need thousands, not hundreds.

The funny part was when she said that Miss Perfect had a bad spell with the allergies. There’s no doubt that Arizona’s one of the worst states for that shit! Still, Miss Perfect’s always, always sick, thanks to my spells. To the tune of Mary Had a Little Lamb, I was singing, Mary had another spell, ‘nother spell, ‘nother spell…

We had another storm. This one brought lots of rain, though it didn’t last long. Sure enough, the vents just had to leak, but not the one in the bathroom where it wouldn’t matter. The overhead window that he put stuff on didn’t leak. I was surprised.

I’m using my book light to write this so as not to have to use this heap of shit’s battery.

Later…

Again it’s raining. This time it’s just a steady rain without the thunder and lightning. The storms here are somewhat monsoon-like. Not too wild, not too mild. During the two weeks we’ve been here that it didn’t rain, I was wondering just how this place was able to stay so green and lush, but now I see. We really wish we’d created some sort of a makeshift cistern!

The idiots at Incense Galore did fuck up. Yeah, I knew they would. I know 95% of the male population is brain-dead, but again, instinct says they’re trying to drive my business away. Well, last night I noticed they left out Carefree, and today, I discovered that Angel, one of my favorites, isn’t really Angel. They substituted it with something else as they did with the Fruit oil, the stupid idiots!

The storm turned out to be rather pleasant. Nothing too fierce or too wimpy, but it would really, really be nice if we could be in a place that didn’t leak when it rained!

Today we went to the Laundromat. They’re so much nicer here. You don’t have a zillion lazy welfare bums with a dozen screaming kids tearing throughout the place. Kids in general seem to be more civilized here, but only somewhat more as kids are still kids.

Tom did email and updated his résumé, but didn’t fill out any job applications. I just hope he’s employed before the money runs out. Besides, I’m sick of never having 5 minutes to myself! I don’t want to sing when he’s here as I don’t want to give him a splitting headache as loud as I am, and besides, if I wanted an audience when it came to that I’d still be sitting here wishing I could break into the music business somehow.

We got a few things at the grocery store, including a book light.

Tomorrow we’re going out again, then we’re not going out for 4 days which I’ll hope and pray Tom gets called for a job interview if he can fill any applications out tomorrow. A part of me wonders if he’s stalling just to annoy me, but he won’t spite himself to spite others, so when the money gets low, he’ll step on it.

Tom’s 47th birthday is very cloudy and thunderous. Not much in the way of rain yet. I wish it would pour like hell so we can finally see how bad it’s going to leak in here.

My incense came today and when I started pulling scents out like Citronella of all things and Amber and Sunflower and Hawaiian Rain, I thought they really fucked up badly. Then I realized they were the freebies I forgot to get! I was like – damn! That’s 7 more scents I could’ve had. I decided to give the ones I didn’t like to the young girl who works at the storage place. She seems nice and I don’t know anyone else to give them to. I’d rather give them away than dump them if possible.

Tom likes the vanilla, though I think it’s too mild. I told him he could have it, along with my $37 of business profits leftover from Arizona, for his birthday.

We opened an account with US Bank and they let us deposit the BOA check. There’s a 5-day hold on it, though. A really nice chatty lady opened an account for us. The people here in general seem chattier which is ok as long as I don’t have to live with them. I do make it a point to be friendly and at least a little sociable so God won’t force these people on me in any way. I figured that if I show at least a bit of friendliness when someone strikes up a conversation with me, the less likely He’ll be to find some reason to trap me in the city with them.

After the bank, we had pizza at Pizza Hut for the third time since we came here, then we went to the library to check our email. I also signed up for more freebies. Tom would’ve filled out applications, but because of his black eye, he decided to wait. Is something trying to stall him from working? Well, I just hope he isn’t jobless for too much longer! Not just because we need the money, but because I need some damn space! He’s always, always there and I really feel smothered at times. The only time I have to myself is when he’s sleeping, and still, he’s there. Always there. He offers to go outside to give me space, and that’s sweet of him, but I’d feel guilty for having him do so, so I just deal with his constant presence.

I’m burning Amber now. It’s so-so. Not anything to sic on the storage girl, but not worth getting again, though this was one of the freebies. There are only 2 of the 4 freebies I don’t like. I just wish I’d remembered to be the one to choose them! The Indian Fruit is good. I’ll add it to my favorites.

Later…

It’s raining now, and sure enough, we had to play Leak and Bucket in a few areas of the overhead. See, I may’ve brought the noise curse into this relationship, as I told him, but he brought the leak curse in. Never did I have this problem before we met and I grew up in a place that has a lot of rain. Ever since we’ve known each other, every house and vehicle we’ve had/have has had leaks of various kinds.

Well, it took two weeks to find a spider in here, so that’s good. It’s also good that it was small.

Last night we ran the heat as we let it get too cool in here too early by keeping the windows open well after the sun began to set. At least it works and so does the refrigerator.

They say we’re to have isolated T-storms all week. I was wondering when it was going to rain here. It’ll be interesting to see how the rain is here. I’m sure it doesn’t come down as heavy as it can in Arizona. I just hope this shit RV doesn’t leak too much! We moved the thing over to where we’re going to be building. The view isn’t as nice here and the brush piles we’re closer to sure are ugly, but it’s only temporary. Plus, we’ll burn most of the brush sooner or later.

I heard two gunshots yesterday and Tom heard one the day before. They were nothing like Maricopa’s constant pop, pop, pops, thankfully. Wasn’t nearly as loud either. I doubt you’d hear it in a house.

Tom said he saw a rat, though it wasn’t nearly as big as ours. I thought I saw one today too, but can’t be sure. It may’ve been a mouse or even a lizard as fast as it was.

The good news is that he set the satellite up so we could go online. The bad news is that he got assaulted by one of his tools, the poor guy, and now he has a black eye. He was holding a ratchet wrench overhead when it slipped out of his hand and hit him on the cheekbone. He wanted to get a new license tomorrow, his birthday, but not with a black eye!

Between today and yesterday, I did a lot online. Of course, the whole ensemble took forever to set up, but it was worth it. I caught up on my Webshots pictures and signed up for a new round of freebies.

Next time I’ll empty the picture card so I can start taking pictures of this Pacific Northwest beauty! As I said, the only things missing from the landscape are the palms and cactuses.

I’m hoping to print too, but I may have to wait till I can get new cartridges as I’m sure the heat dried up the ones I have.

We made 3 stops today. First we went to the storage place to use their hose to fill up our jugs and dump our trash. Tom was constantly being chased down at one point by a yellow jacket. It just wouldn’t leave him alone and it was so funny! Usually, when you move away a good 20’ or so, they give up on you, but the thing just wouldn’t give up on him. Not even after hitting it a million times! He finally realized it was attracted to a part of his shirt that was bright yellow and so he folded it over.

Our second stop was back to that Chinese place where I got heaping portions of fries, egg foo young, sweet-n-sour chicken and pork fried rice. He got a burger and fries.

Our last stop was the grocery store. I didn’t get any food there because I got so much at the restaurant. Enough to bring here to share with the rats. I did get a book that looks really good, but I want to get a book light before I do any reading as the light here is awfully dim. Plus, it’s behind my book so it doesn’t illuminate the print well.

I also got a wind-up timer for when I bounce and some more earplugs.

We were out for a good 6 hours today. Before we left, we were overwhelmed by the smell of gas. Tom got out, found there was a leak in the hose, then ran to turn the motor off before it caught fire. I swear we can’t even go a week without vehicle trouble! We are so, so cursed in that department. Fortunately, he was able to fix it.

Our first stop was at the storage place to drop off a few more things we won’t be needing anytime soon.

Our second stop was at the mail place. Sure enough, there was nothing for me. He got quite a surprise, though. A check for $374 from BOA. We’re not even sure what it’s for. Something to do with something we didn’t need to pay for. The catch is, though, the fuckers wrote out a third-party check, making it a bitch to cash. We went to a BOA branch, but they wouldn’t cash it without certain forms of ID which he didn’t have. So he used their service phone to see if he could find out why they’d send him a check he couldn’t cash, other than to play with him, and sure enough, they hung up on him as soon as he gave his name. That’s BOA’s favorite thing to do; hang up when the call pertains to Tom S. So after he ran up their phone bill a bit and I stuck my gum under their counter, we decided to contact the credit union down in Arizona about mailing it to them to cash. We could cash it at a check-cashing place, but they’d want a huge chunk of it just to do it.

After dealing with those assholes, we went to a place similar to Home Depot to compare lumber prices. They had these really cool wind chimes I’m going to get some time that are made of wood rather than metal.

We went to a Chinese/American restaurant that was excellent. He even tried their eggflower soup and admitted it was good. His cheeseburger and fries were cooked to perfection. My pork fried rice was so-so, but the egg foo young was the best ever. I look forward to getting some fries in the future for myself, along with glazed chicken and crab rangoons.

I hung out at the library for an hour while he did job research right around the corner at The Work Connection. Except for a lonely old man who wouldn’t shut up at times, it was nice to be able to browse the web, even though I couldn’t download anything.

When I checked my email, I was delighted to find a shipping notification from the incense people saying it was shipped today. That’d put it here Monday which can’t come fast enough! You know how I crave my smells as much as most crave sweets. I really thought they either forgot all about me or that it went to someone else.

Hand-dipped incense sure does dry fast in an RV! I’m already enjoying the Chocolate, Brown Sugar, Vanilla Musk and Watermelon I dipped.

Monday I’ll have Black Henry, Blueberry, Bump & Grind, Butter Rum, Carefree, Carnation, Chamomile, Angel, Egyptian Gods, First Kiss, Forbidden Fruit, Gingerbread, Happy, Hollyberry, Hugo Boss, HP Guiltier, Indian Fruit, Oriental Nights, Magnolia, Patchouli Rose, Pleasure, Pear, Rose Geranium, Sexy, Somali Rose, English Rose, Unforgettable & Vanilla.

Tom didn’t apply for a job today but found half a dozen or so promising ones. The only thing he won’t do, besides work for BOA, is truck driving. He doesn’t dig driving and he sure as hell hated driving the RV, which we’re moving tomorrow, closer to the construction site.

We’re not completely sure what we’re going to build; a 2-story dome or two 1-story domes that are connected. Maybe we’ll start with something small to get moved in faster, then expand later. As it is we agreed to compromise on the fence. Instead of a complete 5-strand fence, we’re just going to do a 3-strand fence in areas people could drive in through. Later we’ll add more strands or a grid for the inevitable dogs and kids that’ll end up with us.

We saw someone drive by for the first time since we came here nearly two weeks ago. It was a guy with a big dog that he let out to roam around loose while he checked out some land. He never exited his truck, though it was obvious he was looking at land, then backed up to where the dog was, which started to come onto our land. Then he turned around and left.

The people a few lots down are gone, too. Maybe they really were just camping.

Because we don’t plan to go out tomorrow, we stopped at the grocery store after stopping at DQ for blizzards. Since I ate so much today I only got a bag of chips and some freshly picked raspberries.

I also finally managed to find some postcards. I got 6 different scenes I’ll be sending both Mary and Mom one by one. After I mail Mary a card and a letter on Monday, that’s it till I hear from her. I want to make sure she’s gotten the cards and letters I’ve sent so far and my book before I go sending more.

Tom finished College Romance which he agrees is better than Imprisoned Love. Only this idiot here got the last 6 pages out of order! Hope I didn’t do that with Mary’s copy, though I’d think she’d have told me if I had.

My skin’s been a bit less dry here and my lungs are a lot less tight.

Today was the first day in roughly two weeks when we weren’t on the road. I’m sure the truck appreciates the break as well.

Tom got up early as he usually does, and I slept till noon.

We rearranged some more and blew my exercise ball back up today and I did a half-hour bounce. I was rather dismayed to find I’m still 130 pounds, but not surprised. I hold my weight very well as do most people my age. It’s just that I feel smaller and I haven’t eaten nearly as much since we got here. I’ve cut way, way back. Oh well. That’s just life with a slow metabolism.

I was also dismayed but not surprised to hear Tom say he saw military planes fly over. He said he wasn’t sure if they were the kinds of planes that boom, and suggested that maybe they were headed for the ocean if they were. I’m sure we’ll hear them at some point either way. I just hope it isn’t any more than we had to hear them in Maricopa.

Yesterday and the day before were quite warm. It didn’t get so cold in here come early morning and I could sleep in a sleeveless shirt instead of a long-sleeved one. Today it only reached the mid-80s.

We weren’t in town too long today. Just long enough to do laundry and go to the grocery store so we don’t have to go out tomorrow for a change, even though I’ll miss having a real meal to get filled up on at least once during the day. It’s just that eating out gets too expensive and we can’t fit much in here. Besides, without a microwave or a refrigerator that works, we’re limited as to what we can get. Lastly, I have to eat as little as possible so I don’t go gaining weight as I haven’t been exercising.

While I was doing the laundry, Tom went and emailed Miss Perfect, but who knows if it’ll go through? I think she had a block on, though under the circumstances she probably ran and removed it.

There’s not much else to say other than that I miss being in a real room on solid ground with a real bathroom and space enough to walk through comfortably in, and I’m kind of tired of Tom always being there. Everywhere I turn, there he is. He’s a great guy, but too much of someone is too much. Everyone needs their space, privacy, and solitude at times. Hopefully, though, he’ll be working next week.

I picked a handful of these gorgeous bluebells and put them in a cup of water.

I also dipped some incense since I can’t get them to send me any. I’m not going to call either, since it wasn’t much money we lost, just to hear some bullshit line like how they never got the order or that they really did send it. I’m not playing mail games, and besides, they now have what they wanted and that was to get rid of me as a customer. I don’t know why they wanted to get rid of me, but the fact that they seem to be fucking up more and more on me tells me they’ve obviously been trying to drive me away. Maybe they think I asked too many questions, though isn’t that what they’re there for? Either way, I’m done with them.

We had been confused over which of the mountains was Bly Mountain, but as it turns out, it’s Bly Mountains, plural, which means it’s all the same mountain and not one individual mountain.

We timed it and getting from the land to the paved road takes 10 minutes. It’s 40 minutes total to get to Klamath Falls.

I’ve been less tight in the lungs since we got here, though yesterday my nose was a little stuffy.

We called the 800 number of the company that makes these screen rooms and had them fax a copy of the proper instructions to his email account which we printed out at the library. It turns out we were way off! That’s ok, though, as we have to disassemble it anyway to move it and this RV toward the building site. We want to be close to where we’re going to build, and speaking of which, we may not bother doing the 10 x 25 garage since we’re going to ultimately use this RV for storage. Instead, we may do something smaller and save time and money while we’re at it. We were thinking of something that’d be around 10 x 6 for the illegal shower and 10 x 15 for the room we’ll live in till the house is built. Or built enough to move into. It won’t be completely finished when we do move in.

On our way out we saw people a few lots down from us. I don’t know if they’re getting ready to build there or just camping out. They waved to us when we returned 4 hours later. It’d be okay if they built there as they’re far enough away with all the woods between us. If it were the open desert, then they’d be a bit too close for comfort as 400-600 feet doesn’t seem like much space where it’s flat and open. We couldn’t hear or see a thing as far as they were concerned, whoever they are.

Our land is at a weird angle. It’s almost like it’s parallel with the road rather than shooting straight off of it. If someone built either in front or behind where our house is going to be, we could see them easily as opposed to those that may end up on the sides, though Tom thinks it’s unlikely anyone will ever build around us in our lifetime. We’ll see if the people/noise curse ends here or not. Only time will tell, though I can say that I’m sleeping with him better than I expected. We’re not sharing the same bed since they’re kind of narrow, but he’s not waking me up with his movements and snoring until he goes to leave the RV when he wakes up which is usually before I do. I’ve been sticking a foam earplug in the good ear when I go to sleep.

It’s so beautiful here with the butterflies and wildflowers. I just wish there weren’t so many bugs, but at least that won’t be a problem year-round like in Arizona.

It doesn’t get dark here till close to 10pm. Massachusetts does daylight savings too, but being on the west side of the country and so high in elevation and all that, it stays light pretty late.

We hooked a mouse up to this laptop. How I missed being able to use one! They make things so much faster and easier.

I’m surprised I haven’t heard from Mary, though I’m not surprised. After all, I just sent her a story I wrote, and I don’t seem to hear from her for a while after I send her one.

Today was the warmest day since we’ve been here and a bit muggy, too. It was probably in the low 90s, but still rather cool compared to Arizona.

For today’s meal, we went to Pizza Hut for the second time for pan pizza. He got his pepperoni and I got my mushroom.

We stopped at the Work Connection today and a woman who sounded like Miss Perfect gave us a little tour. Her name was Eshoni which I assume is Indian. I like it. It’s different. Maybe I’ll use it in a future book for one of my characters. They’re not a temp agency or anything like that. All they basically do is tell people what’s available. The only bad thing she had to tell us was that Oregon’s workplace is very competitive and that it had the highest unemployment rate in the nation.

The only thing that bothers me about the discrimination law is that while it says it’s illegal to discriminate against someone for their gender, race, color, religion, or political beliefs, it says nothing about sexual preference. It’s 2004 and it’s still perfectly legal to discriminate against gays! What a fucked up world we live in. We’re spending so much time catering to the wrong kinds of people while we neglect good, decent, honest people who don’t hurt anybody. We kiss the asses of groups of people who have caused nothing but one problem after another in society, yet those who just want to live in peace, get shit for rights. If gays don’t have equal rights by now, they never will any more than we’ll ever have a woman president. I can see a non-white male in our lifetime, but there’s no way a woman or a gay person will ever be allowed to be president.

The rats are still living in the truck, though we let them run around the RV at least once a day.

I was surprised to get a letter from Bob. He says he hasn’t been hospitalized, but he has been ill. Something about needing lung and heart surgery. He also claims to have written every other week. If someone hasn’t been stealing his mail to me, then he’s gone senile.

I’m getting a bit sick of the daily trips into town just like the last time we moved. Hopefully, he’ll be working soon and I’ll be able to have some alone time here on the land.

There are a lot of seagulls around here which I love, though not up on the mountain.

I picked up some cheap incense today since I can’t get incense from Bob and Jeff. It sucks compared to theirs and it also sucks that they won’t send me what I ordered.

We stopped at the main library today to check our email. I was surprised to have only about a dozen messages, all spam, of course. We forgot to look for the screen room instructions, so we looked for it at a smaller branch with unlimited internet time (the main branch is 15 minutes), but they don’t have a website. Therefore, we’re going to call their 800 number.

We also went to the county building for info on the permits, septic, etc.

Since I expect there’ll be lots of times when I’ll have to write by hand, and since it looks like I’m months away from being able to print, I picked up a notebook today, along with some multivitamins, and even vitamins for the eyes.

My meal of the day was a blizzard from Dairy Queen. May not be the healthiest thing, but I figured it didn’t matter as long as I kept my calorie intake really low and had plenty of water and vitamins.

Since the shower in here sucks, we discussed the possibility of joining a gym somewhere just so we can take real showers. It’d be cheaper than weekly trips to motels.

I got to vacuum and rearrange in here today, so it helps to know things are cleaner and neater and that there’s a bit more space in here.

Tom also cut his hair with the haircutter while the generator was running, charging up the RV’s battery.

Today we went over this mountain’s summit and into a small dumpy town called Beatty. We got gas and water there. We also checked out Bonanza. That one looks like a quiet, pleasant little town. There’s a swimming hole not too far from here, though I doubt we’ll ever use it. Too cold, no doubt.

I’m stuck having to write by hand as the laptop has a wee bit too much voltage for this battery which isn’t quite fully charged at the moment. Therefore, I’ll type this up some other time.

Tom just killed an ugly worm that was walking across the roof of the RV. I can’t believe I haven’t seen any spiders in here yet.

After a day of non-stop driving, errands and work like we’ve been doing every day so far, we had a relaxing evening together. We listened to music and munched on chips while he read and I wrote. He began my College Romance story.

I think I forgot to mention that on our first day here, we went down this road which loops around to Beaver Road, then back to the main road. Well, Tom had to move two fallen trees just so we could get by! Fortunately, they were small enough. The poor guy cut up his hands and arms while he was at it.

I still feel a bit overwhelmed at the thought of living in this thing for so long. It’s been freezing in the mornings. I had to put the foam pad on top of the air mattress as it felt like I was lying in an unheated waterbed.

The thought of having to deal with the county worries me too, though I try not to let it. I’m not moving and I’m not going to do what others tell me to do. Not at my age and with land I own. I still worry they’ll tell us we’re on the wrong land and that we need to get this RV licensed here and inspected, and of course, this old piece of shit would never pass inspection. Like I said, though, I’m determined not to let anyone fuck with us. I’m not going to be pushed around and made to do this or do that, and I’m not paying for other people’s fuck-ups either.

Tom called to whine to Miss Perfect about all the things we need to spend a fortune on to set the stage for when he asks for money, though she did say to let them know if we needed money.

We walked around and scoped out where we’re going to build the house and garage.

Today we bought a screen room, but thanks to people’s stupidity, we couldn’t get it completed. That’s because the idiots enclosed instructions for a different one. So tomorrow we’ll go to the library and download the proper instructions and check our email.

This morning sucked as I was not only freezing my ass off, but the sound machine began making an obnoxious tone as its batteries crapped out, waking me up instantly after barely 5 hours of sleep. The sleep curse was put on me right around the same time the noise curse was put on me, and the thought of having to sleep with so many interruptions for God knows how many years makes me want to scream.

There’s still no saying when we’ll have the satellite set up and I can print.

I explored the abandoned trailer diagonally from us and I can’t fathom for the life of me why anyone would dump what was obviously once a beautiful trailer. It’s newer, nicer and bigger than what Dennis had. The floor of it, though, was covered with rat turds. They have packrats here. It seems to have been here for some time. It’s demolished too, with busted windows and doors.

Not a soul has driven by in the time we’ve been here. It’s way quiet and remote. I can see that there’s no way I’ll ever hear hunters to the degree that I did in Maricopa.

We’re hoping that once the house is done, Tom won’t have to work during the snowy winters. Maybe we’ll get a winter home outside of the snow zone, either way. The variety of having two places might be nice as opposed to moving. We can have vehicles for plants, even if they’re old junkers, so it looks like we’re home even when we’re not, and we’ll move them to different spots whenever we check the place out since I doubt the two places will be that far apart. Then again, you shouldn’t be able to tell if anyone’s home with a windowless garage.

Tom hopes to be employed within a few weeks. There’s this thing called The Work Connection and hopefully they’ll be helpful.

Today we went to Walmart which is where we got the screen room. I also got some air fresheners to hang in here since I can’t have my damn incense and since it’s not yet convenient to dip my own. I was surprised at the variety. When I saw they had Angel, I was hoping it was the same as Angel incense, but it wasn’t. I still got a good variety – watermelon, baby powder, vanilla, wild berries and Eternity perfume.

Even I go back on my word at times. I said no more dolls for a while, yet I got a way cute doll named Kayla. Guess she’s a new friend of Barbie’s.

Tom got a burger while at Walmart and I got KFC. That counted as our daily meal. Because I haven’t been able to bounce and am too tired to jump rope half the time, I’m limiting my snacks big time. Besides, I really want to save as much money as possible. I’d rather put the money into the garage than in my stomach, so I’m eating just enough to stay alive and healthy.

We also stopped at Home Depot today which is where we got bricks and pavers to put under two pieces of plywood so the screen room would have a floor.

I had hoped to finish updating yesterday, but again I got too tired.

Still haven’t gotten the incense I know I should’ve gotten by now. I knew they’d do this to me, too. It’s like they want to lose me as a customer. Well, lose me they have. I’ll either get incense somewhere else or I just won’t get any at all.

The mail has already been forwarded to us. I was a little surprised there was no mail from Mary. I told her before we left that she could start using the Oregon address.

So far there’s been no vehicle breakdowns since we arrived here. We talked about going to the California coast eventually, but I don’t know. If we do, I sure as hell won’t want to stay in a motel!

This is the second day I had just one thing to eat. I’m trying to have just one meal or snack a day to save money. Two nights ago when we were in the motel, we got personal pan pizzas at a nearby old-fashioned pizza joint. They were good. Tomorrow we’re going to do KFC for me and some other fast food place for him. They have some of the same stores here, as I told Mom and family in the letter I mailed out to them today. I’m still working on a letter for Mary.

We did our laundry at the motel. There’s a Laundromat in town on a main drag where we go for our mail that we’ll probably use. I doubt it’ll be crowded with rowdy assholes.

Anyway, it’s now time to describe our beautiful, peaceful, dogless, musicless, voiceless land. Well, this place makes Maricopa seem like it was a big bustling city! It is absolutely dead quiet. All we’ve heard is a couple of jets flying around and faint traces of large trucks going down a nearby highway that cuts through the mountain. Better yet, I think it’s at the base of the mountain. This area is either flat farmland, though not like the farms in Maricopa, thank God, or a series of mountains and valleys. We are literally the only ones on this lane (lot 13, block 80, unit 4) and literally the only ones on this particular mountaintop. Well, we’re really damn close to the mountaintop anyway, which allows for some wind to blow through, but nothing fierce like we had in Maricopa. Unlike the constant, intense winds we had down there, we have a nice breeze here. The sound of the wind whistling through the treetops is soothing.

Hasn’t rained yet, and I dread the day it does for fear of the RV leaking like crazy. Tom’s going to give the roof another coating of this rubber sealant he has.

The land is mostly of ponderosa pines and junipers, a type of evergreen. There are lots of aspens around here, but not on the land. In the midst of what is on the land, there are these tall grassy things with scattered pinecones on the ground as well. There is evidence of life here as people once camped here before it was zoned residential. The trash is minimal compared to Maricopa, and it’s very hard to see what little there is because of the grassy, hilly, treed terrain. Speaking of which, because of the terrain and climate, you really don’t need to be out this far to live in peace. They don’t always build houses on top of one another here as they do in most of Arizona. They don’t all look the same, either. Most of these houses are big and vary in shape and size, as opposed to all the square little box houses set in tight rows in Arizona. You can really breathe here.

There are lots of lovely wildflowers here. Little daisies, plus other small flowers of yellow, purple and orange.

There are lots of beautiful, colorful butterflies around here. I even picked one up by its wing for a few seconds. We don’t care for the mosquitoes, but at least we no longer have to peek under the stairs for rattlesnakes or worry about scorpions or giant spiders. I haven’t seen any spiders yet, but I know they’re here. I see enough of their webs in the trees.

You really need to be as virtually fearless as Tom and I are to live here. It’s way remote. Yes, the thought of being so far out if we had a medical emergency is a bit unnerving, but it’s worth it. I think a lot of people would be scared to live way out here in the woods, your classic slasher movie setting! We tease each other about Jason jumping out from behind a tree in his hockey mask. Or was that Michael Myers?

Anyway, it’s gorgeous. I’ll miss the cactuses and the palms, but the woods are so peaceful and beautiful. The mountains are lovely as well. The air is clean, crisp and cool. I don’t look forward to the bitter cold and the snow, though.

The woods have both open and dense spots, but with our nearest neighbor a mile away, it doesn’t need such density. Most people don’t want to go where there’s no power. I realized that if it was too dense we couldn’t get in so easily, let alone haul in materials for the house and have room to build in. The more brush and trees we have to clear, the harder it’ll be. When the Brady Bunch joins us, we can always fill in any gaps with whatever. Still, some of it is so dense that a house could be barely 200’ away and you wouldn’t know it.

I can hang my wind chimes on the trees here easily. Couldn’t do that on the few tall Palo Verde’s and mesquites we had in Maricopa.

I feel very comfortable here. I grew up in the woods so I’m used to it. It’s similar to the woods in Massachusetts, just not so humid. The temperature’s been in the high 70s to low 80s. It’s gorgeous during the daytime, but chilly late nights and early mornings. I was surprised to see that they have dust devils in the more open spots.

Instead of having hundreds of smelly cows like that dairy farm had on the way to Casa Grande, there’s a series of green pastures with scattered horses and cows mixed in grazing. They don’t stink at all.

The mountains are similar to Arizona, although they’re greener and scattered with trees, rather than brown and rocky. There are even patches of sage that look like they could be in Arizona. It looks more like New England, though New England’s more hilly than mountainous.

The land and properties are way cleaner and neater than in Maricopa where everyone was such slobs. I know a big factor in that is that most of the people here are white. I’ve been out every day since we got here and have only seen a few blacks and Mexicans. Now that’s something I can get used to! I was so fed up with their shit.

Our land is hillier than we realized which we like. It’s not too hilly to build on, but hilly enough to provide even more privacy.

I love how there are no biting ants while there are lots of squirrels and chipmunks. I’ve already begun feeding them. I got so close to one of the chipmunks that I could see its whiskers. We’ve even seen lizards here.

The view at the end of the street is spectacular. It drops down into a valley and you can see another mountain straight across. Actually, all around most of our land, there are gaps where it drops off and you can see distant mountains. I can’t wait to take pictures, but who knows how long it’ll be before I can do that or get online or print? I could probably print tomorrow when we fire up the generator, but setting up the satellite is another issue.

The rats run around the RV at times, but we moved them to the back of the truck so I could get a little more peace in the RV. We’re going to put them in the screen room we plan to get tomorrow during the daytime and then toss them in the back of the truck at night. They were staging little fights to get attention and getting on my nerves.

I was shocked when Tom said that this area looks a lot like northern Arizona, but I’m still glad we left that state. We wanted a state where you could gamble from home and without so much of the reverse discrimination and insane laws mixed in.

There are some small towns between here and Klamath Falls (I don’t think this place has a name) like Olene, Dairy and Bonanza. We’re about an hour and 15 minutes from the California border.

They don’t let you pump your own gas in this state for some reason, but so far we both like Oregon better. I just hope we don’t get forced out by the snow, as we are in a snow zone being so high up, and into town in an RV park. We came here to get away from people, so it’d suck if circumstances forced us back with them. On the other hand, dogs and people aren’t going to be outside stirring up a ruckus in the wintertime in this place.

Food prices are similar to Arizona’s, but the cost of living is way cheaper. It used to be cheaper in Arizona too, till it became more in demand.

As I said before, we were worried this wasn’t our land, but Michael gave us the number of a nice couple who came out this morning on ATVs with a cute little dog, and they say we are on our land. Together we stepped off the perimeters, but we still intend to get a surveyor out here. It’ll be costly at around $300, but this way we know for sure we’re not on the wrong land. The reason it’s so expensive is that if the surveyors tell us we’re on the right land when we’re not, they have to pay for us to move.

I really hope these people know what they’re talking about because I do not want to move. Makes me feel like I’m in jail again with the threat of having to move when I like it just fine where I am. The land we thought was ours is much too dense, and while it’s great for privacy, we have enough privacy as it is and we need room to haul things in and to build in, as I said before. It also has huge piles of brush. Dead trees that I guess the county gathered up to lower the danger of forest fires, which would be excellent firewood for us.

I am going to be so pissed if we pay the surveyor money to find we’re on the wrong land and that Michael’s people can’t tell us where it is for sure. If this is the case, we’re not paying for his mistake. Our days of paying for other people’s mistakes are over. Instead, we’ll deduct the surveyor fee from our land payments if we can’t get him to reimburse us. If it is our land, then we’re responsible for the fee.

We found out from this couple (the woman was from Phoenix) that the person who bought the land next to us traded it in for another piece next to someone they knew. As they said, yes we could end up with neighbors building around us, but they don’t think we will. It wouldn’t surprise me if we did only because of our history. We asked about other available parcels just out of curiosity and weren’t impressed with what was available. There were pieces further out (the drive to town is long enough) or that were too rocky.

We just have to be careful not to get lost as Tom already did when exploring the woods. You really can’t see very far in most spots. When you’re not peeking through openings across valleys and onto other mountains, you can’t see much at all.

I asked the woman about dangerous wildlife and she said she heard one person say they saw a bear in the 9 years she’s been here, and she’s seen a mountain lion once. No need to worry, though, since they’re so rare and are afraid of people.

She also said that the winters vary and that she has seen up to 5’ of snow here. Yuck!

Another thing I haven’t mentioned yet is the abandoned trailer on the property diagonally from ours. It can only be seen from a few places on our land, but it’s there, nonetheless. I wish we could get it over here as we could use all the room we can get. Living in less than 200 square feet is no fun! We’re making it more and comfier little by little, though. Tom’s snoring hasn’t been such a big deal, but his movements can be since they shake the whole RV like they did with Dennis’ trailer. I never thought I’d say this, but I miss his old piece of shit! It was bigger and nicer than this thing. At least his toilet, sink and shower/tub were all separate. Here, the bath is no bigger than a phone booth. It’s terrible! I don’t see how a large person can get by in it. I know I barely can. The toilet, sink and shower are all one. You have to close the toilet’s cover and sit on that just to take a shower, but at least there’s a foothold there to make shaving easier, unlike in the Motel 6 we recently stayed at. Even so, we decided to keep this thing and use it for storage once we’re out of it because we’d have to license it in this state in order to sell it and it just wouldn’t be worth it. Besides, we really could use it for stuff and make the place look a little more populated than it really is. No one’s driven down this road since we’ve been here, but still, it adds security that never hurts.

I never did describe the RV. It’s pretty simple. There’s the cab with the overhead, then the bath, closet and kitchen are behind the driver’s seat. Behind the passenger’s seat is a bench and table we turned into a bed. I got a twin air mattress and that makes it much comfier. There’s a bed along the back of the RV as well which is where Tom’s sleeping. The refrigerator and back door are wedged between the two beds and there’s a scattering of cabinets. We can’t wait to put up the illegal shower we plan to set up inside a shed that inspectors won’t know about, and the garage/room we decided on in Arizona for $1600. We’d prefer compost toilets over a septic system, but we may not get a choice. For $50 a month, the county will provide us with a porta-potty, so we learned today from the couple (Tom’s going to talk to the county next Monday) and they’ll even empty it, too. That’d be nice to have on top of the RV’s shithole.

When we first arrived here, we backed the truck off the trailer and turned the trailer into a U-Haul. The storage place was closed so we made two trips there the next day and then another the day after that.

We went to Dairy Queen a few times. I always loved their burgers and fries, but here they suck.

I got a Barbie-like ballerina doll and decided that that’d be it in the doll department for quite some time to come.

Tom’s hoping for a job at the Home Depot to get discounts on building supplies, but I don’t vibe it.

For just a buck, since I haven’t been able to bounce yet, I got a colorful jump rope with shiny handles, but haven’t even been able to use that yet. I’ve either been too busy or too tired. Tomorrow I should be able to bounce in the screen room, though. It should be 10 x 13, the size of my Maricopa office.

We’re in the RV now and I’m determined to finish my updating tonight. We plugged the laptop into a converter which will allow me to type for hours. The laptop’s battery, however, wouldn’t let me type much more than an hour or two if even that.

The Barstow motel was the worst one of all. They mentioned they were doing a lot of remodeling there, and I honestly believed they were moving furniture around above us when we both got woken up at one point. Tom, a heavy sleeper, was able to go back to sleep, but I couldn’t go back to sleep for a few hours. I had to wait till people would quit slamming things around. I lay there wondering just why would they need to come and go so much. And why would they need to run around the rooms so much? You’d think they were moving in and setting up months’ worth of stuff. It was horrible!

This particular motel, the Desert Inn, had rock-hard beds, but a small refrigerator and a microwave. It was also cheaper than the Motel 6 which had softer beds, but no extras. They didn’t even give you Kleenex, let alone shampoo or lotion. The rooms in both places were so small, too. We stood in the Motel 6 in Klamath Falls, Oregon last night, as well as when we broke down in Merced, California.

After leaving Barstow, we passed some absolutely huge and breathtaking mountains. How I wished we had a decent camera! I took what pictures I could, but then I filled the card up and couldn’t take anymore.

We also passed an airplane graveyard, but I couldn’t see that from my vantage point. I could see the windmill forest, though. We passed a lot of cornfields and orange groves along the way. Some marshlands too, with cranes, geese and ducks.

We stayed at the Arizona rest stop the first night, the chaotic Barstow motel the next, then we broke down the next day. What was scary about it was that it was Sunday, but fortunately, his brother Steven came to our rescue. We could’ve walked or taken a cab to a motel, but it was nice of him to give us a ride. He and Carol live in Madera so it took him a half-hour to get to us. I swear he sounds exactly like Miss Perfect. The way he talks is a total carbon copy of her, but he was nice, nonetheless.

We had three scares along the way. The first day, some idiot nearly ran us off the road, making the truck wobble back and forth like hell.

Then in Merced, a center bearing on the RV broke and we didn’t know how long or how much money it’d take to fix it. Fortunately, a manufactured home dealer let us park on their lot and we were able to get it in there in the first place, and fortunately, the part only cost $16 and he could get a guy in a machine shop to press it on the next day. As bad as it was, it could’ve been much worse. We could’ve been rendered completely immobile on a dangerous part of the freeway, the part could’ve been expensive, and we could’ve had to empty out the RV with no place to put our stuff so it could be towed, ending up costing a grand. The thought of how bad it could’ve been makes me shudder. I was wondering if something was trying to stop us from getting here. Tom said he thought it might be a test to see how badly we wanted to get here.

As pissed as I was and as frustrating as being stuck in Merced was, I had to laugh when I thought of how I’d have killed to be stuck in California when I was all alone and lonely with no life back east.

The final scare was when we got stuck once we finally did get here. I said to Tom, “Well, this can’t be a test to see how bad we want to get here since we are here.” Yet when we drove up the mountain our land is on and was so close to the land, we took a wrong turn and went down a road that was squeezed in between some very dense woods. I mean, it was so heavily wooded that a person couldn’t walk through some of it, let alone drive through it. The pine tree branches were scraping alongside the RV as we went down the road only to come face to face with a locked gate! It turned out that the road was really someone’s driveway. Getting the RV and truck turned around was hell and it took us the better part of an hour. I had to go out and spot for him, and still, it was hard.

We ate at Denny’s a couple of times along the way and made it to Woodland, California on the 14th where we ate inside a Walmart. I got a refreshing salad that was way more than I could eat, so I shared it with the rats like I usually share most of what I eat with them scavengers. It was there that we picked up bottles of water, some snacks for the road, and a few postcards. One for Mom, Miss P and Dave, and two for Mary.

I mailed them on the 16th from our new mail place. It’s pretty cool. All you do is hand them your outgoing mail. You can also get to your box 24/7, 7 days a week. The main door is open during business hours, but after that, all you have to do is punch in a code. The only thing you can’t get just any time is packages. It’s a private business run by a pleasant family. The PO usually delivers mail by 10:00.

When we first got here, Tom pointed out that the people here don’t seem happy till we met the girl running the storage place who seemed uppity and told us she lived just 15 minutes past the California border. When we saw how friendly they were at the mail place, I jokingly said to Tom, “They must live in California.”

Anyway, it usually takes 10 days for mail to be forwarded, so if I’ve got mail from Mary waiting for me, it’s news to me. I just better get my damn incense without a fight! That I had sent here.

I haven’t yet found any postcards in this state because this particular area isn’t very touristy.

I’m getting better at psyching things out on command because, by the time we reached Willows, California, Tom asked for a vehicle vibe. I thought about it for a while and concentrated really hard. Suddenly, I knew we’d be okay and that we’d make it to Oregon with no more breakdowns. This he was as glad to hear as I was to sense.

With all the bad vibes gone, we stayed at a rest stop in that town. It was pretty damn hot but not as bad as the first rest stop was.

The most awesome scenery came on the final day of the trip as we passed through the Mount Shasta area. It was like, wow! The breathtakingly gorgeous green mountains with little wildflowers against the snowcapped mountain were quite impressive. We saw parts of Lake Shasta as well.

Oregon…

We finally made it to Oregon! We got here on the 15th as I predicted. So far I like it better than Arizona, but first I want to cover other things.

Although I’ve gotten more sleep along the way than expected, I’m still pretty beat a lot of the time with the fixed schedule I’ve been on. I don’t want to get more and more backed up in my writing, so I’ll do some updating, despite being tired.

Before I left I ordered free address labels from the same people I got Maricopa labels from with our new address so we’ll have those handy. I won’t go for a new round of some of the other freebies I got down there until we get back online and that could very well be weeks from now. I know that the more I want whatever I’m expecting in the mail, the more I have to fight for it, so I’ll have to go to the library to see if there’s any email from Incense Galore explaining why I haven’t gotten the incense I should’ve gotten by now. We placed a tiny retail order the day before we left so I wouldn’t have to have such large quantities of the new scents I wanted to try and maybe end up hating half of them. Maybe I’ll just call them instead.

The cell phone provider we were using doesn’t service this part of Oregon, so they assigned Tom a new number. Still, it’s a real pain for him because he has to punch in the number twice. We got a new phone I’m going to activate soon, and eventually he’ll get a new one, too.

We got a hold of Miss Perfect for the first time since we got here. She got my letter and the Arizona postcard, but not the California one yet.

Tom also spoke to a friend of the guy who was supposed to show us how to get to our land (the guy’s out of town). We found the land ourselves, or at least we thought we did. The more Tom studied the maps, the more it looked like we were on the wrong lot and that ours was the next property over.

Anyway, backing up to Arizona – I am so, so glad that part is over! There’s still an overwhelming amount of work to do here and so little money with which to do it, but at least we’re here. Once we know for sure where our land is, we can begin making progress, even if it’ll be very slow.

There was so much to do during the last few days we were in Arizona. As usual, I was right and he was wrong when I said we’d run out of time to get rid of things and that he was foolish for waiting till the last minute. Same with how much space we’d have for packing things. I told him it wasn’t quite as much as he thought it was. We left behind 80% of our belongings, and that includes the tall bamboo palm I had. I ended up selling it. I had to go as low as $5 to get rid of it, but I’d have just left it if I couldn’t sell it, and to tell you the truth, I wish I’d left the others as well. Well, maybe not the palm, but there was so little room. It was worse than A Tower’s cramped cells! The poor big leaf plant got so beat up. That, the palm, and the spider plant are all outside right now. I don’t know if they’ll live, but I don’t really care anymore. There are more important things to worry about right now than plants, and I’m not going to buy any more. I vowed to not play the damn “starting over” game unless it’s in ways I absolutely have to.

I saw the big leaf plant planted by several houses and one of the motels we stayed in when we were in California. Someone I spoke to said it might be a banana tree, but its trunk sure looked like a palm tree on some of the ones that were between 10-15 feet tall.

We didn’t want to cancel the electricity down there until we left in case there was a delay, and there was. We got a late start taking off on Friday.

The day before that, he called Huey’s assistant to let him know we’d leave the keys in the lockbox on the side of the house and gave him the code.

We ran out of time and had to leave both the inside and outside of the house trashed, and as usual, Tom was paranoid about it. I reminded him how put out we’ve been by others and how much we’ve had to do on account of others and that someone else picking up after us a bit won’t kill them. Huey got a smoking deal off of us, so I wouldn’t complain about having to put forth a little elbow grease if I were him. I’d just be grateful to have gotten what I got. Also, some of the stuff we left was rather nice, and he can always afford to hire someone to clear it all out if he doesn’t want to do it himself. He’s rather loaded. I don’t feel bad about it, though. We got $5,000 and he’s going to get well over $100,000, so I say let someone else clean up and sweat a little for us for a change.

He did manage to sell the Ford Taurus at the last minute to a teenage kid in that Mexican family. He was originally going to ask $350, but when he discovered the heat-cracked windshield he dropped it to $250, then to $140 when he saw that the taillights were shot, too.

The Mexicans also ended up getting the airbed as the winner of it emailed us to say they couldn’t pick it up by Thursday. Also, as we knew was the case, the bedroom set winner was just playing with us, so that went to them, too.

We spoke to a few people who’ve been to Oregon and no one had anything bad to say about it, so that’s good.

It’s scary to know that if Teddy Bear had come around like she said she would and I had been foolish enough to dump love for lust, then broken up with her in time and tried to get back with Tom, he would’ve been gone. Long gone without a trace. And I’m sure his family wouldn’t have divulged his whereabouts either. But I was smart enough to know in the end that her looks would’ve faded while his love would remain forever.

In the end, Tom said he thinks it might’ve been better if he’d only taken his clothes, tools and computer and I’m starting to wonder if I should’ve taken just my necessities, along with my computer. As it is I’m seriously considering not buying any more dolls. Porcelain dolls can be hard to get, there are more important things to spend our money on, and I don’t want to have to move or sell them when we move again in 1-6 years.

That was the eighth car stereo to blast by the Motel 6 we’re now in in the course of 10 minutes. The car stereos are worse here and in California, but it makes sense, too. Oregon and California aren’t nearly as strict as Arizona, so when they started enforcing the damn things, the Arizonans were quicker to tone it down. Why tone it down here if they’re just going to frown upon you for it, whereas in Arizona you practically get executed for everything?

Anyway, I was a bit tearful the final night and during our last trip out the door. Upon completing the entry before the last one, I sat back, gazed around my office and realized it was the last entry I’d ever write in that office, reached forward and turned off my computer. Although it was a sad thought, I thought of all the sad, infuriating and frustrating entries I’d written in that house along the way, and reminded myself of all the reasons I wanted to move, despite how lovely the house was which I know I’ll miss for a while. Especially the shower! Tom was worried I’d regret leaving Arizona. I hope I won’t and I don’t think I will.

We first thought this move would be easier than the last because we were taking so little, but we both agreed it was much harder. It’s hard to cram stuff into such small spaces, for one, and we didn’t have a 5-day drive the last time, nor did we have to go longer than 4 months before we could get in the house. We’ll be playing RV for close to a year before we can move into the garage, and God knows how many years it’ll be before we get just the shell of the dome up. It’s going to be rough as hell for quite some time, so it better be worth it in the end.

Like I said, it’s been non-stop work, work, work. You’d think I’d have lost some weight, but I haven’t, since all the work in the world doesn’t matter when you stuff yourself at my age. I intend to stop that real soon. Not to lose weight, but to save money.

It’s hard for me to concentrate with all the bumps and bangs and the cruising stereos. See, originally we were going to spend one night a week in a motel to have a real shower and some space, but the “real shower” is crap. It’s just a little shower stall with no foothold to make shaving easier, no real water pressure, no nothing. So why pay $200 a month when the RV shower’s no worse, just to have space and listen to all the door slamming and whatever else it is these people do? Motels are just too noisy. I don’t know why, but they are. Maybe it’d be better if it was a hotel and it was winter. I’ve been to lots of motels and hotels before the noise curse was put on me and I never heard a thing. Now, they just can’t seem to sit still. They go in and out constantly as late as midnight, they have to stop and gab outside our door, they throw shit around their rooms, walk like elephants, blare TVs, slam doors and drawers, and so on and so forth. It’s just terrible! I’m going to be woken up by Tom as it is, though he says he can sleep in the back of the truck just fine until it gets really cold which is really sweet of him, but I wouldn’t make him do that.

I seem to be jumping around a bit, so let me get back to Arizona.

A day or two before we left I got a red T-shirt dress and a Trendy-Bendy Barbie at Walmart, figuring I could use a treat in the midst of all the stress I was going through.

Sometimes I wonder what the point of living really is when all you do is struggle to get ahead so much of the time, and when you finally manage to do so, you get kicked back down. Almost the entire trip was a nightmare. We broke down as I predicted, and the whole trip was spent just hoping we’d get to Oregon in one piece, and sweating like pigs till we reached northern California. I never could’ve handled the heat 12 years ago, and barely could this time around either since I had to spend so much time in it. I got a bad sunburn as well as sun poisoning, and Tom was also burned as well as miserable during the drive because the engine, which is between the two seats and has worn insulation between it and its cover, was really hot on his feet.

Our shit was also falling on and off throughout the trip. The scanner went down at one point and I’d be very surprised if it still works. It’s a good thing they’re pretty cheap and that I don’t use them very much. It chipped the big leaf plant’s pot when it fell.

Another annoyance was the flying dirt from the spider plant by the window that Tom was silly enough to leave open when we went to take off.

As I told Mary, we weren’t being gently led by the hand by whatever decided, along with us, that we were destined to live here. Yanked by the hair was more like it!

At 40’ long, riding in the city where the traffic was heavier was scary, and riding in remote areas was scary as well, for fear of being stranded due to the breakdowns we can’t seem to escape.

Getting back to the last day – Tom drove the truck up onto the trailer and strapped it down before loading its cab and the roof up. That was another nerve-wracking thing during the ride; fearing things would fall off the roof. It had a damn good trailer, though. It had a hydraulic brake to keep it from pushing into the RV when the RV would slow down. It also had a safety chain attached to a break if the hitch let go. We were probably 2-3 thousand pounds overloaded which is yet another thing that made the drive shaky. It was way treacherous and stressful. No doubt the hardest trip of our lives. It’s very hard to control any vehicle that’s bogged down like both the truck and RV were.

It took us hours to load up, and when we walked out the door that last time, I was in tears, though I got over it quickly. I may miss the shower and having a home to live in, but I don’t miss it in general. I’m looking forward to a better life and house here. Tom felt bad, though, which made me feel worse. I mean, I didn’t mean to worry him or bring him down in any way, so I assured him I’d be ok, and I was. Just tired and tense. Like I said, it was a hell of a trip!

So after my teary goodbye to our house, the saguaro and Joshua tree scenery along the way was gorgeous despite the sweltering heat.

Because we were off to such a late start, we stopped at a rest stop about 80 miles from Needles, California shortly before sundown as we did not want to be on the road after dark. I think it was somewhere between Buckeye and Quartzite. I wrote letters to Mom and Mary and did up postcards I got at a tourist shop/eatery we stopped at before we settled at the rest stop. I got Mom a wildlife postcard and one for Mary as well. Then I also got Mary one of a p-dog and one of a rattlesnake.

We got a pizza there, and for $16, I also got a way nice, way realistic figurine of a cocker spaniel. Then again, it’s covered with real goat fur, so I don’t know if it’d be called a figurine. I don’t even know what it’s made of. It seems too light to be plaster of Paris, so maybe it’s made of Styrofoam.

At one point Tom asked how it felt to be homeless and I had to admit that being homeless and being jobless sure did feel strange. He said it feels exciting. Yeah, in a way it does so long as it’s not too long before he gets a job. Like it or not, money really does make the world go ‘round. Besides, I’d really like some alone time along with money to live and build on.

The Arizona truck stop was miserable because it was so unbearably hot. It usually cools down nicely, but not that night. That night it was still a sauna come 4 AM, and I got very little sleep. We had a huge truck running next to us which acted like a sound machine or a fan, so that was good, but its airbrakes would hiss rather loudly from time to time.

I’d love to keep writing, but I’m just way too tired. So, despite the bumps and bangs going on around here, I’m going to try to get a little sleep.