This is the second time Tom was headed to Casa Grande only to break down in the truck again. It’s like, thanks, God. Thanks a real lot. We really need this shit on top of everything else we’ve got going on, and I suppose you’re going to make sure we break down like crazy on the way to Oregon.

And Mary says he digs me? Yeah, right! Well, I don’t feel so “digged” right now, but either way, what is this we got going on? Is something trying to trap us here now, or what? Tom doesn’t think so, but it sure seems like something’s trying to trap the truck here and keep him out of Casa Grande. If anything, this latest shit with the truck could delay us from having the moving sale today as we planned, but whenever we do get around to it, I’m sure the ‘everything happens at once’ rule will come into play where instead of having one person at a time come through, we’ll get a dozen people at once, then no one for a while, then another clump of people, etc. They’ll all want to come get the furniture at the same time, too. On the other hand, I don’t even know if we’ll get more than just the immediate neighbors to the moving sale because of the heat.

As we agreed, we don’t have time to stop and play Fix It for the millionth time so as long as we can drive it up onto the trailer, we’ll wait and then play Fix It in Oregon where it’s not a million degrees out. If there’s one thing I would add to where we’re going it’s public transportation. The time and money spent fixing vehicles have been outrageous, but I know it’s just an old curse that’s been on us for some time now and that it’s not going to lighten up anytime soon. No matter where we go, our vehicles will always break down more than they should whether they’re old or not.

The bed has 2 bids and the TV has 1. So far the highest bidder is the same person. I’d like to think that whoever comes here to get the stuff will be like, “You know, winning this for pennies hardly seems fair, so why don’t I give you guys a hundred bucks?” I know they won’t, though, but that’s ok. I don’t mind giving away material things I have no use for, but ask me for money and I’m a cheap Jew at heart!

The bed just got bid on, only I’d be willing to bet they’ll never pick it up if they win it. This person has more negative feedback than positive. I can’t believe eBay hasn’t banned their membership! They’ve won 4 things and have failed to pay for the last 3, so this is someone who’s obviously obsessed with not doing what they say they’re going to do. Still, with half the things bid on, it makes me think we should’ve listed the computer desks/chairs and his bed and dresser.

Reagan died the other day. Good. One less bigot in the world. I know he hated gays, though not as much as Bush and Baby Bush do. I don’t get this all-white, all-male president thing we’re still dealing with even up till now. I mean, we’re living in a time when everybody’s frowning down on racism, yet you still have to be white, married and male to qualify to run for president. So if there still haven’t been any off-brand males, there sure as hell won’t be any women, gays or singles. I think you also have to be Christian too, or Catholic. Can’t have any disabilities like paralysis or deafness either, and probably no birth defects like what I have with my ear.

I had a dream the other day that gave me another story idea that’d basically be about a gay woman set up by a hotshot connected to a psych hospital who gets pissed at her for his own personal reasons and tricks her into being committed there. Meanwhile, a therapist there, also gay, falls for her and helps get her out of there.

The dream was just one of the many “stuck places” dreams I had after Valleyhead, then after jail. It started off with me realizing that the place I was trapped in was even worse than jail because they ran you ragged with activities all the time like they did at Valleyhead. You couldn’t just lie around there. Then in a group therapy meeting, some cock running the show there mentioned checking out my family and various people I know, making sure I’d overhear him, obviously trying to intimidate me. Then he made me the laughingstock of the group somehow. Afterward, I caught him alone in what appeared to be some form of a workshop. He was sitting on a stool working on something at a huge counter or table when I stepped through the open door into the room. He told me to go back to where the other patients were, but I demanded an answer from him as to why he was doing this to me. When I didn’t get one, I shot out a fist in an explosion of rage, boxing his temple. He fell off the stool and hit the floor at which time I wasted no time pummeling his face to a bloody pulp. Then I gave him an ultimatum as he choked on blood to either release me or else I’d have outsiders attack his family. Yet sure enough, he cared more about spiting me than the safety of his family, so he ratted me out and I had his family attacked because of it. Then he and some other head honcho were promising my immediate release if I’d give them the name of the attacker. I woke up at the part where I said, “No, you release me first and then I’ll give you the name.”

Later…

I put a spell on the truck and it seems like it may’ve helped. There’s certainly no help from above, so we’re on our own. The suspension system looks ok which was what he was worried about because the whole truck started vibrating like crazy. He’s going to grease it up now which hopefully won’t take too long, but we won’t know more about the truck until Tom fiddles with it a bit more. Like I said, we can’t afford to stop and play fix it. We’re running out of time. We have too much other stuff to do in preparation for Friday morning’s take-off.

The bed sold for something like 11¢, the TV for $3.25, and the bedroom set for a penny. We never got an end-of-auction notice pertaining to the bedroom set winner with all the negative feedback, but the bed winners in CA and the TV winners in Vegas. The TV winner is having someone pick it up tomorrow, and we don’t know yet about the bed. A lady in Yuma who said she was too late on bidding, emailed Tom saying she’d take it if the winner was a no-show. Then Tom got an email from someone who had asked about the TV’s measurements, saying to let him know what’s left as he may buy it all, so Tom let him know we’re having a moving sale all day tomorrow and gave him the address.

I really hope we make at least some money tomorrow. As it is, we’re doing too much for others, as usual, and at our own expense. Instead of playing fix it and email with these people, we should be cleaning out the RV and packing more shit. I’m just tired of being a charity worker. We tried calling consignment shops, but they didn’t have room and we couldn’t find a Goodwill or a Salvation Army in Casa Grande, and of course, there’s no way they’d drive all the way out here from Phoenix.

Life really is compensating, though, cuz Tom saw his mom yesterday for what will probably be the last time and she gave him $650 between his birthday, our anniversary, gas money, and the turntable and receiver he gave Miss Perfect. As he said, it wasn’t as much as he was hoping for, but it’s better than nothing. I just wouldn’t want to know it if she had 100 grand or more in her account right now, because that’d be really cheap of her to give us a measly $500 when we need thousands.

I’m just waiting for her to die. At this point, that’s all we can really do.

The dumpster arrived a while ago, so now all we have to do is hope there’s no hold-up with the trailer and that we can at least get the truck up onto it and that the RV starts come Friday morning!

I was wrong when I said we were about 25 miles from the CA border. It’s more like 50.

I’m looking forward to putting my books in the store, or at least some of them! As Tom said, it’s all in the packaging, so we’ll want to find some way of binding them that’ll be nicer than the wire binder. I’m trying to stick to popular subjects, though gayness isn’t exactly a popular subject itself. Still, in books and on TV they want sex, murder, pregnancy and childbirth, so no matter how old some of these subjects may be to me, I gotta try to write what’ll sell.

Later…

Just as I figured, the bedroom set winner with all the negative feedback is just out to play with people. First of all, they’re in New York of all places. Secondly, they haven’t contacted us. That’s what other sellers who left negative feedback for them said too; that they were unable to make contact with them in any way, let alone get a payment. It’s almost like they want to accumulate tons of negative feedback, but hey, it’s their loss. Whatever doesn’t go either gets dumped or stays here.

Tom couldn’t find anything wrong with the truck which he just took to Circle K. If the thing starts vibrating really bad like it did earlier, he’ll turn right around and take the car. Makes me wonder if we should’ve sold the truck, but then we’d just have to turn around and get one when we got to Oregon cuz we’ll need something for hauling lumber in.

The most important thing at this point is getting the trailer, getting the truck onto it, and getting the RV to take us to Oregon!

This is the last entry I’m going to type on this computer desk I love so much. It’s being disassembled tonight to be put outside for tomorrow’s moving sale.

Anyway, however he manages to get to Circle K, he’s also going to make the second and last attempt to get my story to Mary. I told her she should receive it the day before we leave, but if all goes well, she’ll get it the day we leave. He’s also going to put up the moving sale flier there, too.

The dumpster was left in the middle of the driveway, about 50’ – 70’ from the road. This is where we’ll set up the freebies. All the little things will be free, or most of them anyway. I’d still like to get a little something for the plant as well as for the well wiring that’s on a big wooden spool out back. And of course, there’s the car that’s still got to go, too.

So much to do and so little time! I feel like the action’s never going to end. And just how many months will it be before I can sleep on a real bed of some kind again, I wonder, though that’s really the least of my concerns? For the last 3 nights here, I’ll be sleeping on a foam mattress.