Figures. They want $50 to do a money spell on me. No thanks. I’d rather try to learn to perform my own spells. We couldn’t know that these people were for real anyway. There are quacks in every field. Tomorrow Tom’s going to pick up the appropriate candles and then I’ll attempt the lottery/gambling spell while he writes the program that’ll read the racing info he’s to download.

He saw Liz and got a good look at her. Says she’s 7-8 months pregnant. 7-8 months?! Where did this come from so fast? Are there two Liz’s like there were two Tinas?

I had to reconsider the fact that Liz may not be a good candidate to test my friendship spell on if she’s preoccupied with having an animal, but I can’t think of anyone else better. Therefore, I’ve decided to try the spell on her. If it fails I’ll try it on Estella. If that fails too, then I’ll try a different spell on either a problem neighbor, a mean boss he may get, or someone good-looking down in Sacramento. Whichever comes first.

I’m back up to 132 pounds. By accident they discovered the area of the brain where smoking addiction is and hope to shut down that part to help people quit, so when are they going to come up with a way to fix broken metabolisms? Unlike most people, I can’t lose weight by simply “cutting back” or “watching what I eat.” I have to practically starve. And then it comes right back as soon as I eat. In another decade I won’t be able to get under 140 pounds, no doubt! It just gets worse and worse every few years. But I like to save money and rock easier, so after pigging out today, I’m going to go back to starving tomorrow. I’ve looked for willpower spells to no avail, so I’ll just have to tough it out on my own.

I emailed a local taxidermist and told them I have a pet rat who isn’t very nice; how much would it cost to stuff her? If the price is right, maybe I’ll let her get big, put off the Nikita doll I was to order on the 2nd and have her stuffed. If not, I’ll just kill the bitch and get a squirrel in California.

I’m pleased to learn that affixing labels to the incense bags at Silk Splash is now standard routine, thanks to my recommendation, as Elliot put it. They sure are more convenient than those stapled cards they started off with. Tomorrow my incense should be here. Can’t wait!

Later…

The taxidermist doesn’t do pets, they just told me, so the execution’s still on for Monday. Tom said he wants the weekend to try to play with her because he needs a break from working on this or that, but why play with an animal that simply isn’t friendly? He just doesn’t want me to get rid of her, but that’s just too bad. He’s got no choice because if there’s anything I can’t stand it’s having a pet that won’t let me handle them.