I sent a review of the cruise to both Renee at the cruise company Cruises and Nancy at the Blues Festival magazine, and boy did I get quite a reply from Nancy! There are some very sensitive people in this world! She said she wanted to take a few days to come up with just the right words to say to me (and she’s supposed to be a writer?) and while she said she’s sorry I had a terrible time, she then went on to brag all about Delbert and his friends and how she would have gotten my cabin space if I hadn’t entered “just to win something.”

In my reply, I told her I didn’t say I had a “terrible” time, just not a great one. I also pointed out that I couldn’t have possibly known how the entertainment was going to be till I heard it and that I never said the performers were bad, they just weren’t all that good. This doesn’t mean I don’t realize the fact that most people admire them, I told her, and pointed out that it’s just a matter of personal preference. Where some people dislike the color pink, some find it lovely. Some don’t like blueberries, some do. And no, I didn’t want to “just win something.” Had I been psychic enough to have known I wouldn’t find it as fun as I’d hoped, I’d have gladly given her my cabin space and taken the money instead, I told her when she insisted I hadn’t read the rules and how they’d have paid me $500 instead. I did read them, I told her, but because I sincerely believed the food, entertainment and service would be much better than it was, I had no reason to pass it up. I also always wanted to go on a cruise and knew this may be my only chance.

Then she goes on to say that if we want something bad enough, we usually get it. Really? Well, I didn’t tell her this because I don’t need to defend myself to her, but how come I didn’t get the baby I once wanted if we get something as long as we want it bad enough? How come I never made it as the singer I once wanted to be? How come I never had true lust? Why did Tom and I spend so much time being broke no matter how hard we worked? And why am I still living in a dump in the city with the freeloaders and other losers while that peaceful, secluded, new house remains forever out of reach?

She goes on and on crying how this may have “cost us our contract with the cruise company and radio station.” She also said, “I wish it had been legal to cull through contest entries and remove people like yourself from winning; leaving in the contest database only those thousands of people who would gladly have been in your shoes. And the sad part is how many people who would have liked to win, but didn’t even bother to enter because they didn’t think they stood a chance (yeah, that’s how it always goes cuz life’s not fair. It’s those who want/deserve a particular thing that doesn’t get it while those who don’t are the ones who do get it, but what can we do about it?). Their chances would have been better if our database wasn’t littered with ‘professional contest enterers’. Hope you learned a lesson from this experience. We certainly did. And if we don’t get to give away a cruise ever again, well… blues fans will be paying the price for your mistake for years to come..... thanks.”

As for having no story to print, I struck back with the fact that she does have a story to print, this email and my last one. It’s just that she chooses not to print it because she didn’t like what I had to say. And as for blues fans to pay for my “mistake” for years to come – get real! Nobody ever pays for anything I do. It’s always me that pays for what they do!

Lastly, I told her please don’t waste her time replying again because as soon as I see it’s from her or about the cruise, the delete button gets hit. There’s no point in going back and forth with each other as we’ve both said our pieces. So as long as she doesn’t make trouble for me and cause me to react, she won’t hear anything further from me.

The only thing she said that worried me was that we’d get a form to pay yet more taxes on the damn thing in ‘08.

Tom said that when he last saw Liz, he could be wrong, but yeah, he thinks she is pregnant. She can kiss that hot body goodbye if she is. It’s kind of sad. I mean, even if she’s mature for her age and has a man who will stand by her and do his part and has money, she’s awfully young and it seems like such a shame to throw your life away like that. It’d be ending your life at any age, but still, it just seems like such a waste of youth. I guess we all have our priorities in life, though.

He said she keyed in the two 5-gallon water jugs manually, then asked him to lift them off the belt for her, though those suckers are heavy. The only thing I don’t get is why she’d be working on her feet all day if she were pregnant. Either way, it may explain why she’s fuller in the face and neck. She can’t be more than 5-6 months along if she is, and if so, I definitely won’t be sending any letter from California. What would be the point? On the off-chance that she may care to respond, she wouldn’t have time to if she’s bogged down with a kid.

We’re going to be in the 40s all week, but Springfield sure isn’t! They’re looking at single-digit lows and highs in the teens! But both Maricopa and Sacramento are to be in the 60s.

With the exception of when I’m trying to save money and maintain my weight, I’m stopping the diet for the most part. I just can’t get my calories any lower which is what I’d need to do to lose any more weight, and so without a properly working metabolism, It’d take forever the way I’ve been going. I’d just put it right back on anyway. In just one day of having 1500 cals, I’m already up two pounds.

Although the wireless connection did okay the first night, it did start cutting out on me and I got sick of having to fight to get back online when it would time out on me, so since he had to string wires across the bathroom anyway so my computers could talk, we put me back on the wired network.

This bitch of a rat, Lez, is so gone after Tom wastes his time trying to get her to be more sociable over the weekend. I tell you, they don’t change. Once timid, always timid. Once vicious, always vicious. Once friendly, always friendly. It’d be like Tinkerbell all of a sudden being afraid of people – yeah, right! I don’t want any antisocial pets, so she’s outa here soon.

I had a very disturbing dream last night that I hope to hell doesn’t mean anything. I had a horrible dream before we left too, where I was taking a shower in some warehouse of some kind. The shower, for some reason, was way up high at maybe 15’ or so. Tom had to climb up to help me down when I was done showering, and as he did, we both began to fall, but I awoke before we hit the ground.

Well, if I interpreted it correctly, this dream symbolized the trouble to come with the rough trip, the pipes breaking, etc.

In last night’s dream, I was visiting Tom in jail and asked him if he thought he’d be there for years. When he said “yes,” I felt sickened at the idea of not being able to hug each other or do things together. Then I realized I couldn’t keep this place going or store our stuff anywhere, so I said, “You know I can’t survive on my own, so I have to do it,”

He nodded sadly, knowing what “do it” meant.

When Tom got home he assured me all was fine. Hopefully, no vindictive blacks will cry racism at work and set him up either!

I did hear back from one of the spell site people. They said that since the free spells were gathered from wherever they couldn’t tell me if improvising would be okay or not. They said I could send them my details with any questions I may have and she’ll check my stars for me, so I sent my DOB, race, and where I’ve lived to her. I then explained how we lost the Arizona house and seem to be trapped in the city with nothing but noisy neighbors with the exception of just a couple, and that we’ve spent most of our marriage struggling. Then I went on to explain a little about EFO and the plans to buy or build a house in a quiet area, asking if this would ever come to pass. I wanted to know if she thought we’d still struggle for the most part, have a little extra money, or get rich. I told her not to worry about telling me anything I didn’t want to hear either.