Today we lost $8. We seem to go back and forth, so I told Tom not to bother reporting to me unless I ask. I’m sick of hearing one day how we could’ve won $900, then hearing the next how we lost $8. And I’m sick of God teasing us!!! But He’s not going to string me along and play with my head anymore on this issue. I know I’m not allowed to have what I want in life and that I must settle, so there’s nothing to tease me with anymore. He can keep us down, but He cannot keep us here in Oregon! That’s for sure. For the millionth time, I’m wondering if I should pray for what I don’t want. It may be meant to be anyway, but it’s the only way I feel like He’s on my side and listening to me. He hears me when I ask for what I don’t want, then goes deaf when I ask for what I do want. So maybe if I prayed for poverty and noisy neighbors and quit trying to fight Him on these issues He so desperately wants me to have to deal with every time I move, He’ll lay off for a while. Tom says moving to California is actually a step up and that there’s no real security here because they’re doing so badly at work, but the company hasn’t folded yet. All I know is that my life isn’t mine to live as I see fit, so maybe it’s time to just resign to that fact and go with the flow. What else can I do anyway?