With the exception of that $200 he won, EFO is still proving to be TUT. I keep thinking that God better compensate me for all the shit I’ve gone through! And Tom too, but I know He won’t. The last thing God cares about is seeing that Tom and Jodi get rich. God doesn’t always compensate. He’s often cruel and unfair, period. So with this in mind, all I can do is hope the transition to Sacramento goes a hell of a lot smoother than the move up here did, but I know it’ll be rough sailing. Long-distance moves always are unless you have money. The move to Deerfield, Norwich, Phoenix, Maricopa, then finally to Oregon, all left me/us broke. Each move took us a year or more to get on our feet, and of course, we never quite made it in Maricopa.

I’ll at least hope we don’t lose everything when we do get down there, and that we won’t have to suffer in the mainstream of chaos and antics for more than 5 years. I’m also hoping that if we can’t have an out-of-the-way house before he’s 55, we’ll at least be able to rent something in a retirement community. We may still get dogs and car doors there, but that’d eliminate things like music, and houses having basketball hoops with animals slamming balls outside our windows for 5 hours at a time. Of course, I still say the freeloading sickos coaxed their animals into doing that for my account, but the point’s still the same. What’s also the same is that life isn’t about getting what I want, so I assume these are just dreams. Life really, really isn’t what I want in both big and small ways. Of the many books and DVDs I’ve won, for example, not one of them was any of the ones I wanted! So I sure am welcome to live wherever I don’t want to live, that’s for sure.

I totally resent God more and more for making us live like this. We may’ve chosen this dump of a house so we could have extra money, but we shouldn’t have to live like bums in order to do so at our ages. I totally feel picked on and singled out while everyone else in our families gets to live in their nice houses and drive their fancy cars. What the fuck makes them so much better and deserving than us? I’m tired of being God’s little bum!

I just wish Tom would quit being so naïve where this program’s concerned. It’s simply not going to make more than a few bucks a day if even that. He had made $35 on Saturday, then lost it Sunday due to two horses breaking legs. Horses break legs all the time in racing, so I don’t see how he expects to make more than just a few scattered bucks here and there with an occasional 100-to-200-dollar winner, just like with scratch tickets. If it is going to pay off more, and that’s a big if, then it’s not going to be anytime soon. Certainly not before June.

I left Kim some incense I didn’t like. Although it hasn’t woken me up yet, I’m getting tired of having to hear her music when she comes and goes, which is getting to be more often lately. Where did this come from? She went over a year without music, and now it’s a common occurrence with her. Is it because she hears mine? Does she figure there’s nothing I could do about it being 150 pounds lighter? Does she figure we’re cool enough with each other that I wouldn’t care? Well, as long as it doesn’t get any louder I won’t care. I’m a bit concerned, however, that as the weather warms up, she won’t have sense enough to turn it down when she’s got her windows open.

The bad news is that we’re in for the second round of snow since returning from the cruise, and lower highs. They’ll be in the 30s and 40s rather than the 50s, but the good is that the lows won’t be down in the teens. That really makes the nights really uncomfortable when they are! It’ll be hitting down into the 20s and 30s instead.

We’ve been noticing a surprising pattern with next door and that’s that they seem to take off during the weekends. I can’t imagine where it is they go, I’m just shocked they haven’t been a problem. I’m also shocked I haven’t seen any kids over there. Maybe they’d have turned out to be a problem had I kept my office in the living room, and maybe Kim’s getting a little more musical lately because I moved it onto her driveway. She’s just the type to play loud music, too. She’s young and no doubt lonely, destined to be alone forever as big as she is. Anyway, we’ll see how next door is when it warms up, as in the 60s and 70s.

Nothing but piddly wins lately, but at least those don’t give us any headaches.