Things are back to normal as far as the stereos go. I had to listen to them blast by every 15 minutes or so for two hours after I got up, and I didn’t get up till 11 PM. They were blasting off next door too, and I could faintly hear the beat of music in here. Tom thinks they’re moving because the pool’s deflated and he’s been seeing a different vehicle over there. They definitely don’t stay there long. I’d think a ghost was chasing them out if I didn’t know how old and dumpy the place is for what it costs. Anyway, this is nothing. Wait till we’re attached to this shit again!

Tom quit his job yesterday so now we’re almost as homeless as we are jobless, and now it’s off to either sink or swim in a few days. I know we can swim at least till September with the money we’ve got saved, but who knows after that? Guess it’s all going to depend on just how much God may still hate us.

It sucks that I’m both stressed out and depressed over the move. I should be excited and excited only. This is California. Yet while there is a degree of excitement, all I can think about is the shit I went through at the duplex, in Phoenix, the NHA. My biggest fear is that they won’t let me sleep. Stealing my peace when I’m awake would be bad enough, but I know all too well and good how miserable it can make you feel, even if you don’t smoke, to go month after month with no sleep.

It also sucks that the horses didn’t pan out so we could go where we wanted. But of course God wouldn’t let that work out if He’s as hell-bent as always on keeping us where at least I don’t want to be. Tom’s not as picky. He’s not a light sleeper and he’s not home as much. It would’ve been different to go to an apartment knowing we had money and that there was a light at the end of the tunnel. Going out this way is a lot like being the unsentenced inmate in jail, not knowing where the end is or if there even is an end, and what may happen in between.