I seem to really have a knack for attracting local 19-year-old bisexual ladies on MySpace, LOL!

I guess I better get to writing what went on the last couple of days or else I’ll forget things.

You could say I was a bit bummed out and frustrated, alright.

The propane guy said he was coming Monday in the “morning.” Had I known the “morning” really meant 2:00 in the afternoon, my sleep might not have gotten so screwed up. God, how I wish I could sleep at night every night!

I crashed around 6:30 am and woke up to pee a few hours later. Tom said the guy hadn’t shown up yet and I was worried we were gonna get blown off. Then I tried to get back to sleep, but then Jesse just had to come down and get his ladder to fix his cooler cuz he was too lazy to take it back up with him when he did ours, and I was stressed out at the thought of not getting propane.

Tom said Jesse said he was going to try to stay in town, but might have to go down and work in the Bay area. I sure hope he does go to the Bay area! If that’s the only way to keep him from coming down here and from gunning engines, then yeah, he can take off and go work far, far away!

So I managed to finally fall back asleep around 11:30, and despite how loud I had the sound machine cranked up, the propane truck vibrated right through this flimsy little place and woke me up a few hours later.

You KNOW you’ve got a sleep curse on you when you’re in the woods and you STILL can’t sleep! Argh! It is just the most frustrating thing that goes on and on and on. I sleep just as shitty out here as I did in the city. This has been going on for two decades now, everywhere I’ve lived, and it’s more than obvious that my sleep is doomed no matter where we go. If it’s not one thing, it’s another. Today I narrowly escaped being woken up by another one of those helicopters that just have to fly 5 feet over our heads, but luckily I was getting up right as it happened. This means that because I slept ok today, I’ll get woken up next time around.

What did I do to deserve this sleep curse? It’s bad enough I can’t keep a schedule, so can’t I at least not be such a light sleeper?!

It’s times like this that makes me wonder if it was really worth coming out here. If my sleep is destined to be cursed no matter what, would it have been smarter to take a nice, modern apartment with modern appliances, pools, laundry rooms, fitness rooms, etc.? I don’t know if our lousy credit would have let us in, but it would cost about the same as this place which is old and dumpy save for the windows and a few of the walls. Only we’d have an electric bill and a management company to have to deal with which usually means no breaks on having to split up rent payments.

But circumstances always cause us to end up forced back into the city, so I suppose God would just love me for it if I voluntarily returned, but I do like how it’s much quieter overall. Come 8:00 in the evening I know that Jesse’s not likely to be down to pester us, the helicopters aren’t out and about, and there’s no propane to be waiting on. Yet at that hour in an apartment, Joe Shmoe would be blasting his music to the left of us, Jane Doe would be slamming her door to the right, someone would be slamming cabinets down below, wild kids would be running overhead, and of course there’d be a whole smorgasbord of sounds outside. So I guess the bummy old trailer that’s too small is the better deal. How could I enjoy swimming in any apartment pool with screaming kids all around me anyway? Like I said, discipline, manners…that all went out the window years ago. Nobody teaches things like that to their kids anymore.

But for the thousandth time, WHY is my sleep cursed??? I know it’s tied into the poverty plan God has for us somehow. If you can’t keep a schedule, you can’t work. Period. But that’s another thing I just don’t get. I believe God really does have His plans for us, but what in the world ever made Him decide we should have nothing but struggles in our plans? Why aren’t we worthy of at least not having to struggle as we have been? I don’t understand what makes us less deserving. Tom says it’s over, we did it, we survived. He says the recession’s turning around, jobs are opening up, and while we’ll have to split the next two rent payments up, we can now begin to save, and yes, he will get his Mac back.

Yeah, right. I gotta see it to believe it. There’s always some unforeseen expense that arises along the way. Besides, if he’s right, how long does he really think it’ll last before we get the carpet yanked from under our feet yet again?

Finally heard from Jessie who says her husband keeps screwing up their PC and it takes her 10 minutes just to open Windows. She thanked me for being her motivation, saying she was ready to give up losing weight until I told her how I was doing it.

Backing up again to Monday. I fell back asleep from around 3pm - 8pm once the propane/Jesse stress was no longer on me. Although I was drained all night last night, it was sooo nice to be able to shower without worrying about the propane running out! It really sucks that there’s no way to gauge exactly how much is in the tank, though the guy said there was some left. We’re at 50% now which should last all summer.

Wow, this is getting to be a long entry! Guess when I go on a bitching spree, I really live it up!

In other news, I did decide to start sweeping again. I’m entering biggies and instants on OLS since I’m still paid up till November and want to take advantage of the Shazam feature. Then when it came to choosing between Big Sweeps and Sweeps Advantage for other sweeps, I chose Big Sweeps. It’s easier to navigate. I’m doing whatever comes in for the day there that isn’t an instant or a big prize. I love how they don’t allow comment sweeps there! Once I’m totally done with OLS, I’ll just do daily instants and biggies, then everything expiring on the present day. That way I know I won’t miss anything.

I was stoked when Tom told me that Napster dropped their monthly fee to $5 like my old Yahoo radio used to be before they went away and then all that was left was Rhapsody or Napster for $14 a month which is a wee bit much to be spending right now. But not even we’re too poor for $5 a month! I miss unlimited downloading and having a commercial-free radio with unlimited song-skipping.

Ok, off to catch up on some more sweeps and free samples! I BETTER win, too!