I sometimes wish the planet weren’t so big and that it was as easy to meet cyber friends in person as they are online. How nice it would be to run over to Wales and meet Mitch, then hop on over to Germany and maybe meet my new friend Nane and practice our German/English, then drop down to Italy to meet Marilena, though that one just might happen someday. And of course I’d run to my folks in Florida every so often, and meet Alison and Kim right here in the good ole United States of Screw-Ups.

Tom went to bed and if it ever gets below 80º out there I’ll go out for my run. It might not make it down there before it gets dark, so I’ll just have to deal with it. It’s better than being cold. It got down to 71º in here this morning and it was freezing to me! I don’t know why I’m so damn sensitive to cold yet can take the heat very well. I’m so glad it’s to be close to 100º all week.

Tom’s first day of work went well. He’s in the testing area for now. He said it was kind of weird that they have no security or anything in the building, but Grass Valley isn’t like Rocklin either. He also thought it odd that they don’t have any kind of quality assurance department.

We called my folks and gave them the good news. They were thrilled for us as were Eileen and Mitch. Dad joked at first and asked if he was going to be governor of California, LOL. I told them I started my 7th language and asked Dad to guess what it was after telling him it began with an e. He guessed Egyptian, LOL. He pointed out that good things happen in threes. He got the job, so next, he’ll be hired on and then the Beanie Babies will sell which he said he thinks we were doing wrong. He said we should have listed one for $1.99 + $4.99 shipping instead of 99¢ + $5.99 shipping. Actually, we’re going to try some large lots.

I agree with him, though, that Tom will get hired on. Where most people either hate or love me, everybody likes Tom, LOL.

Tom also called Jesse to let him know we’ll pay the rent in full on Saturday and about the job.

I will be in training tonight and will try to get some work done on the book as well. I was just buzzing with so much excitement last night that I was too keyed up to do much writing. Seriously, I was like a little kid on Chanukah! Some people have been asking me about my work, but sorry, I’m not allowed to discuss it.

I am really stupid at times! Nane said she tried to add me on Facebook, but that I didn’t accept friends. I had totally forgotten about turning that off – duh! Spambots were after me, so I turned it off. I let her know I turned it back on, but haven’t heard from her yet. I’d say this pretty much wipes out any lingering thoughts of deactivating my account, though. :)

It hit me that my disabling the friend invite thing may’ve prevented Maliheh from accepting my invite. If that’s the case, well, it’s off now.

She oughta get a kick out of how I accidentally capitalized the word boy on one of my Esperanto lessons, as I told Nane. Since she caps all the nouns in her language, and since I’ve had that on my mind so much, I accidentally went noun-capping in the wrong language, LOL. I’ve put the German on hold for now until I study more of the grammar aspect of it.

Why is it that I set up my microphone specifically for German and Esperanto speaking exercises just to have no one review them? Instead, all anyone’s done is tell me my Italian sounds great, LOL.

My logic still doesn’t think so, but my dreams keep suggesting we may be moving to another rental, in which case I told Tom to be prepared as it’s getting to be too many dreams at this point. I had a two-in-one last night. We’d just moved to some old dumpy rental which didn’t exactly seem very remote. I went to tell Tom something from another room and he told me he was on the phone. Before he hung up, I heard him say, “Sure. A thousand dollars will do it.”

I will finish the dream after my run. It’s not cooling down, but the sun is setting and I’d rather not wait for the skunks and other nocturnal goodies that rule these woods to come out and join me, even if these woods are a lot safer than the ones in Oregon.

catches breath Ok, I got my run out of the way. It’s gorgeous out now. I checked the weather back up in Oregon and was reminded of just how much colder they are than New England. Them poor Klammers nearly froze last night, LOL.

And now on with the dream. After he hung up the phone and told me we had a grand on the way, I asked what for, and he said the company he works for wants us to move closer to them and would be willing to pay us to do so.

In reality, Tom laughed at that one, saying that’s not how it usually works, but as I reminded him, it’s not so much the details of the dream that matters as the overall message. And the more repetitious the dreams, the more likely they are to be telling me something. If Jesse were to lose this place, as much as I doubt it, then we’d have no choice but to move. For now, we’re preparing for the possibility and are going to start saving as fast as we can. I would feel much more secure with a month of rent saved, plus enough for a backup vehicle should this one crap out in a way we couldn’t afford to fix. If we had engine failure right now, we’d be positively screwed.

Later…

Maliheh’s back to visiting me through Facebook instead of through a bookmark, and I still have yet to hear from Nane. Starting to think I’m not going to either. Let me guess – she’s not crazy enough, right? And God had those spam botters bug me so I would turn off the friend invite, forget about it, and lose any chance of being buddies with her, right?

Hmm… should I just move on and forget her? Or should I spill the beans and let her know I’m attracted to her if I don’t hear from her for a couple more weeks, knowing I’d have nothing to lose anyway? I admit I do like surprising people at times, so just maybe I will. I’m curious as to what her reaction might be, though I doubt I’ll get any at all. Ok, Nane, you’ll hear from me one last time in a couple of weeks, LOL.

I realize that she could just be a very busy person, but IDK. Marie was pretty busy a lot of the time too, yet she sure found time to keep in touch.

And of course I still wonder if Maliheh will ever accept the friend invite or contact me, though I’d say it’s safe to assume she won’t. She may be a mean bitch, but she’s not crazy.

Those in Istanbul-Shit, Ghana-rea and India really seem to like me, LOL, based on all the friend requests I’ve been getting from there lately. I might look for a way to turn off the photo comments, though, as I get tired of the same old, same old. I don’t mean to seem rude or unappreciative, but yes, I know the desert is hot, I know I was cute at 4 years old, and I know I usually have insanely long hair!

Nane only corrected my written submission and not my spoken one. In other words, I probably sounded so horrible she didn’t know what to say about it, LOL. I just can’t seem to get some of the tenses straight (rot, rote, roten, ein, eine) and so I sent her a message asking if there was some tip she could give me that would simplify things for me.

I was going to remove any reference to my finding her attractive in case she makes it over to my blog (the link is on my profile page) and doesn’t like the idea of it, but what’s she gonna do – fly over here and shoot me for it?

No one’s reviewed my Esperanto yet, but my Italian-speaking reviews were very good. I’m currently 38% through Esperanto 101 with a score of 99%, and 95% through German 101 but with a score of just 82%. My last lesson was a killer! The speaking part was easier, though. Still, how is it that I’ve made Student of the Week in German every week since enrolling in the course a couple of months ago? Esperanto I can see kicking ass in because it’s so easy. But German is not.

Tom got another scratch ticket and I did my thing and concentrated really hard on “zapping” it with happy, positive winning energy. This one was a crossword ticket. I ended up one letter short of a HUGE winner! How frustrating yet encouraging!

Tom said that maybe he actually has to be working before I’m in a good enough frame of mind to “rig” tickets. Yeah, let’s just hope he will be real soon too, when he calls the office tomorrow.

A few days before he went on the interview I had a dream where I told him that a major change was on the way. I wonder if that was a job premonition I didn’t see at the time. I wrote the dream off as meaningless. I’ve occasionally had dream premonitions without knowing right away that they were actual premonitions.

Mitch finished his book The Changeling! Next, he’s going to go over my last book and read the start of my current book to give me an idea of what he thinks so far.

Other than me and two of my cyberbuds being stalked and annoyed by a crazy woman in Texas, all is fine. I went out running, and soon I shall be transporting myself to the whacky world of Maliheh and Joni. Speaking of Maliheh she didn’t show up in Dreamland last night. Amazing, huh? I kind of missed her, even if it means being chased by her at times, because I know I can always wake up if she catches me. :) Then again, I don’t always mind being captured, depending on whoever’s doing the capturing. :)

She was looking for me on MyOpera this evening and into the evening, but all she got to see were my fake comments, along with a few from Alison and Kim. She’s jumping in from Facebook again too, now that I mentioned I would stick around there for those that have no other means of getting ahold of me if they want to. I also like to post blogs and language lesson scores there.

Paula sent a message that was both sweet and funny despite how unbelievably poorly written it was, LOL. “You’re my best friend, I love you, I miss you, I’m dating a sexy guy, I’m moving to a 1-bedroom, here’s my new number, call me.”

Something like that anyway. She changes numbers faster than I change undies, but as I told her, I’ll call her when I get a chance. Probably next week.

Okay, time to head to class and then Never Never Land!

Later…

My latest exchange with Nane has got me thinking about this influencing thing again, alright. :) I told Nane that the grammar had me so confused that I was ready to beat my head in the wall despite having a knack for languages, and she said don’t do that, LOL! LM isn’t the way to go in her opinion because it doesn’t teach any grammar, and I so totally agree. I’ve always been an anti-full immersion method.

Nane was not only kind enough to give me half a dozen or so links to sites that may help with the grammar part of the German but accepted my email addy after I told her I was a “liberal” person who liked learning about different languages and cultures (at least that was half-true). She replied saying, “Ok, ratgirl. :) it will be a chance to brush up on my English as well. :). :)

This put a grin on my face. Yes, Nane, I’ll be happy to brush your English up for you anytime. Anytime! One does tend to learn faster when they’ve got a crush on their teacher, and so I’m sure my German will start advancing rather quickly.

I sent her picture to Mitch. He agrees she looks fortyish and that she’s a hottie.

Anyway, the links provide a whole lot of helpful info, and so as not to seem pushy, and because I’m getting tired anyway, I’ll wait a day or so after I go through them some more and then message her on LM if she doesn’t beat me to an email first.

Then again, would I really have much influence on her if I was single and she lived nearby? Hmm… I don’t know about that one.

Later…

“No, no, no, don’t wake up!” I started to tell myself this afternoon as I slowly started coming awake. “If you do, you may find that this morning was just a dream. Play it safe. Stay asleep.” But that wasn’t possible, of course, and I quickly realized that no, that morning was no dream. I smiled widely as I replayed it through my mind, stretched and yawned. Then I remembered Nane and her links and I smiled even wider as I got up out of bed.

It was just before 9am this morning. He came in from being outside on the cell phone. Then he told me about it and I walked into the bedroom intending to do something on the computer but instead of doing that I collapsed in a heap of relief and tears on the bed and cried steadily for a good 10 minutes or so knowing that 22 long, miserable, stressful, depressing – and sometimes scary – months have finally come screeching to a halt! It’s over. Just like that, it’s over.

The sense of relief that comes with stepping out of the gloom we were in for so long and into the light to return to the land of the living is both amazing and wonderful. I have been crying tears of joy on and off and zipping up and down the place grinning like a mad idiot. We have survived the storm! I’m so ecstatic that if I were a drinker I’d be getting totally smashed right now! Wish I had tons of scratch tickets now. I know I’d win most of them for sure with the way I’m flying! I have been laughing and crying, laughing and crying, back and forth and back and forth, and right now the screen is blurring up on me. But it’s so nice to cry tears of joy and relief instead of stress and depression!

Now that it’s official I can give some details. He’ll be working days. The pay is much more than we expected at $12/hr.! We thought he’d get $8 - $10, and anything would have been fine, but to get what we’ll be getting which is plenty adequate for us, is awesome! Our rent is low for California and we don’t pay for water or electricity.

The only negs are that it’s a half-hour drive and is just a temp job. I think he’ll impress them enough with his smarts and capabilities to get hired on, though, which should be in 3-6 months at which time we’ll be insured, believe it or not. I need these teeth ripped out and dentures put in sooo badly! The enamel is just so soft and is really going to hell. It’s a hereditary thing that pretty much happens to everyone in the family.

Even though I have total confidence in him, I’ve been teasing him about the stress now being on him. I told him that after 22 months of it being on me, he could have it, LOL! He knew things would be rough while we were basically what amounted to forced welfare bums, but I really thought we weren’t going to make it at times. You know I’m a pessimist.

It’s going to be nice having the place to myself more often, too. Like I said, no matter how well you may get along with someone – and Tom and I never fight – it’s still nice to get some alone time beyond when he’s asleep or just out running errands.

He’ll be getting up at 4am (same time as Jesse if Jesse ever gets back to work himself). Speaking of Jesse, I wonder if he’s been out of town. The dogs went off all night long last night, and Tom never heard the motorcycle today. His truck is up there, though, and someone must be there now because it’s quiet. Anyway, he’ll leave around 5:00, then start work an hour later, then leave at 2:30.

He went to the temp company’s office yesterday to fill out all the paperwork and to have his pay transferred to the card.

From now on I’ve got to start writing down all my dreams, no matter how silly, strange or trivial they may seem. A couple of days ago I dreamt we had just moved to what seemed to be another rental. While the rental seemed bigger and more modern, I hated the snow. There was a dusting of snow all around us, and my dream self was bummed at the thought of having to deal with that regularly, yet it was obvious it was for a good cause and that other things were going well. I didn’t think anything of it at the time. Well, we’re 1000’ in elevation while it turns out that the place he’s going to actually be working at is 2500’ in elevation. Weird, really weird.

So does this mean we’ll move? I don’t think so, even though Tom said there were tons of remote places along the way. I don’t want to go back to that shit. The one or two days a year we get a dusting down here at the Sierra Nevada foothills is more than enough for someone who can’t stand snow, and so unless we found a hell of a deal, I don’t see the point in bothering when we’re just going to buy a place in a couple of years. I don’t know where our forever home will be, but we’re going. Oh, yes we are! stops to wipe happy tears Meanwhile, even though the dogs drive me crazy at times, why move to a place that would only be just as noisy or worse? And while bigger, newer and nicer is always great, we don’t want to spend that much extra money between now and buying the house. Except for occasional perfumes which I’m addicted to, I don’t want to spend much money on things we don’t need until we get home. But this is it! Sure looks that way anyway. We have found the yellow brick road. All we have to do now is just follow it. For now, though, it’s nice to know that moving is much more of an option for us if we ever do decide to move.

Laughing, I asked him if he thought he’d slip and fall on the ice up there in the winter like he used to do in Oregon. I never fell once. Not with my balance. Remember, I was a dancer and I also skated a lot as a kid.

I thank God for finally answering my prayers, even though I don’t know why it took Him nearly two years to do it. Guess there really is a time and a place for everything.

I told Andy, Mitch and Eileen the good news in an email, and once we find out even more, I’ll call Mom and Dad. He doesn’t know exactly what his job will entail just yet.

I’m still buzzing with so much excitement that I might not be able to concentrate on my story tonight (sorry boss!) but I have my work cut out for me thanks to Nane. :) So I better get to it soon!

Ah, to be able to wake up without that damn dark cloud hanging over us and without that phone never ringing. Woo-hoo!!! Every day I’d wake up and the first question on my mind would be whether or not we were going to survive. Our unemployment was set to expire soon, and the pressure to beat the clock was getting really nerve-wracking. I’d try to enjoy the moment, then it’d hit me that we were on our last extension and time was fast running out.

Tic-toc, tic-toc…

I’d try to concentrate on my story or other things and try to live for the moment, then, you’re on the last tier.

Tic-toc, tic-toc…

Trying to study languages, then, less than 60 days to go.

Tic-toc, tic-toc…

Cleaning the house, then, will it really be as easy as you’ve heard to die by carbon monoxide poisoning?

Tic-toc, tic-toc…

Time’s up…

WE WIN!!!

Those in Istanbul-Shit, Ghana-rea, and India really seem to like me, LOL, based on all the friend requests I’ve been getting from there lately. I might look for a way to turn off the photo comments, though, as I get tired of the same old, same old. I don’t mean to seem rude or unappreciative, but yes, I know the desert is hot, I know I was cute at 4 years old, and I know I usually have insanely long hair!

Nane only corrected my written submission and not my spoken one. In other words, I probably sounded so horrible she didn’t know what to say about it, LOL. I just can’t seem to get some of the tenses straight (rot, rote, roten, ein, eine) and so I sent her a message asking if there was some tip she could give me that would simplify things for me.

I was going to remove any reference to my finding her attractive in case she makes it over to my blog (the link is on my profile page) and doesn’t like the idea of it, but what’s she gonna do – fly over here and shoot me for it?

No one’s reviewed my Esperanto yet, but my Italian-speaking reviews were very good. I’m currently 38% through Esperanto 101 with a score of 99%, and 95% through German 101 but with a score of just 82%. My last lesson was a killer! The speaking part was easier, though. Still, how is it that I’ve made Student of the Week in German every week since enrolling in the course a couple of months ago? Esperanto I can see kicking ass in because it’s so easy. But German is not.

Tom got another scratch ticket and I did my thing and concentrated really hard on “zapping” it with happy, positive winning energy. This one was a crossword ticket. I ended up one letter short of a HUGE winner! How frustrating yet encouraging!

Tom said that maybe he actually has to be working before I’m in a good enough frame of mind to “rig” tickets. Yeah, let’s just hope he will be real soon too, when he calls the office tomorrow.

A few days before he went on the interview I had a dream where I told him that a major change was on the way. I wonder if that was a job premonition I didn’t see at the time. I wrote the dream off as meaningless. I’ve occasionally had dream premonitions without knowing right away that they were actual premonitions.

Mitch finished his book The Changeling! Next, he’s going to go over my last book and read the start of my current book to give me an idea of what he thinks so far.

Other than me and two of my cyberbuds being stalked and annoyed by a crazy woman in Texas, all is fine. I went out running, and soon I shall be transporting myself to the whacky world of Maliheh and Joni. Speaking of Maliheh she didn’t show up in Dreamland last night. Amazing, huh? I kind of missed her, even if it means being chased by her at times because I know I can always wake up if she catches me. :) Then again, I don’t always mind being captured, depending on whoever’s doing the capturing. :)

She was looking for me on MyOpera this evening and into the evening, but all she got to see were my fake comments, along with a few from Alison and Kim. She’s jumping in from Facebook again too, now that I mentioned I would stick around there for those that have no other means of getting ahold of me if they want to. I also like to post blogs and language lesson scores there.

I decided to say I have “reason” to suspect an impersonator at this point and that I doubt the comments from Maliheh are really from her so as to hopefully up my chances of us being friends in the future. As it is she may already suspect that I’m the one who left the comments to begin with.

Paula sent a message that was both sweet and funny despite how unbelievably poorly written it was, LOL. “You’re my best friend, I love you, I miss you, I’m dating a sexy guy, I’m moving to a 1-bedroom, here’s my new number, call me.”

Something like that anyway. She changes numbers faster than I change undies, but as I told her, I’ll call her when I get a chance. Probably next week.

Okay, time to head to class and then Never Never Land!

Later…

My latest exchange with Nane has got me thinking about this influencing thing again, alright. :) I told Nane that the grammar had me so confused that I was ready to beat my head in the wall despite having a knack for languages, and she said don’t do that, LOL! LM isn’t the way to go in her opinion because it doesn’t teach any grammar, and I so totally agree. I’ve always been an anti-full immersion method.

Nane was not only kind enough to give me half a dozen or so links to sites that may help with the grammar part of the German but accepted my email addy after I told her I was a “liberal” person who liked learning about different languages and cultures (at least that was half-true). She replied saying, “Ok, ratgirl. :) it will be a chance to brush up on my English as well. :). :)

This put a grin on my face. Yes, Nane, I’ll be happy to brush your English up for you anytime. Anytime! One does tend to learn faster when they’ve got a crush on their teacher, and so I’m sure my German will start advancing rather quickly.

I sent her picture to Mitch. He agrees she looks fortyish and that she’s a hottie.

Anyway, the links provide a whole lot of helpful info, and so as not to seem pushy, and because I’m getting tired anyway, I’ll wait a day or so after I go through them some more and then message her on LM if she doesn’t beat me to an email first.

Then again, would I really have much influence on her if I was single and she lived nearby? Hmm… I don’t know about that one.

Later…

“No, no, no, don’t wake up!” I started to tell myself this afternoon as I slowly started coming awake. “If you do, you may find that this morning was just a dream. Play it safe. Stay asleep.” But that wasn’t possible, of course, and I quickly realized that no, that morning was no dream. I smiled widely as I replayed it through my mind, stretched and yawned. Then I remembered Nane and her links and I smiled even wider as I got up out of bed.

It was just before 9am this morning. He came in from being outside on the cell phone. Then he told me about it and I walked into the bedroom intending to do something on the computer but instead of doing that I collapsed in a heap of relief and tears on the bed and cried steadily for a good 10 minutes or so knowing that 22 long, miserable, stressful, depressing – and sometimes scary – months have finally come screeching to a halt! It’s over. Just like that, it’s over.

The sense of relief that comes with stepping out of the gloom we were in for so long and into the light to return to the land of the living is both amazing and wonderful. I have been crying tears of joy on and off and zipping up and down the place grinning like a mad idiot. We have survived the storm! I’m so ecstatic that if I were a drinker I’d be getting totally smashed right now! Wish I had tons of scratch tickets now. I know I’d win most of them for sure with the way I’m flying! I have been laughing and crying, laughing and crying, back and forth and back and forth, and right now the screen is blurring up on me. But it’s so nice to cry tears of joy and relief instead of stress and depression!

Now that it’s official I can give some details. He’ll be working days. The pay is much more than we expected at $12/hr.! We thought he’d get $8 - $10, and anything would have been fine, but to get what we’ll be getting which is plenty adequate for us, is awesome! Our rent is low for California and we don’t pay for water or electricity.

The only negs are that it’s a half-hour drive and is just a temp job. I think he’ll impress them enough with his smarts and capabilities to get hired on, though, which should be in 3-6 months at which time we’ll be insured, believe it or not. I need these teeth ripped out and dentures put in sooo badly! The enamel is just so soft and is really going to hell. It’s a hereditary thing that pretty much happens to everyone in the family.

Even though I have total confidence in him, I’ve been teasing him about the stress now being on him. I told him that after 22 months of it being on me, he could have it, LOL! He knew things would be rough while we were basically what amounted to forced welfare bums, but I really thought we weren’t going to make it at times. You know I’m a pessimist.

It’s going to be nice having the place to myself more often, too. Like I said, no matter how well you may get along with someone – and Tom and I never fight – it’s still nice to get some alone time beyond when he’s asleep or just out running errands.

He’ll be getting up at 4am (same time as Jesse if Jesse ever gets back to work himself). Speaking of Jesse, I wonder if he’s been out of town. The dogs went off all night long last night, and Tom never heard the motorcycle today. His truck is up there, though, and someone must be there now because it’s quiet. Anyway, he’ll leave around 5:00, then start work an hour later, then leave at 2:30.

He went to the temp company’s office yesterday to fill out all the paperwork and to have his pay transferred to the card.

From now on I’ve got to start writing down all my dreams, no matter how silly, strange or trivial they may seem. A couple of days ago I dreamt we had just moved to what seemed to be another rental. While the rental seemed bigger and more modern, I hated the snow. There was a dusting of snow all around us, and my dream self was bummed at the thought of having to deal with that regularly, yet it was obvious it was for a good cause and that other things were going well. I didn’t think anything of it at the time. Well, we’re 1000’ in elevation while it turns out that the place he’s going to actually be working at is 2500’ in elevation. Weird, really weird.

So does this mean we’ll move? I don’t think so, even though Tom said there were tons of remote places along the way. I don’t want to go back to that shit. The one or two days a year we get a dusting down here at the Sierra Nevada foothills is more than enough for someone who can’t stand snow, and so unless we found a hell of a deal, I don’t see the point in bothering when we’re just going to buy a place in a couple of years. I don’t know where our forever home will be, but we’re going. Oh, yes we are! stops to wipe happy tears Meanwhile, even though the dogs drive me crazy at times, why move to a place that would only be just as noisy or worse? And while bigger, newer and nicer is always great, we don’t want to spend that much extra money between now and buying the house. Except for occasional perfumes which I’m addicted to, I don’t want to spend much money on things we don’t need until we get home. But this is it! Sure looks that way anyway. We have found the yellow brick road. All we have to do now is just follow it. For now, though, it’s nice to know that moving is much more of an option for us if we ever do decide to move.

Laughing, I asked him if he thought he’d slip and fall on the ice up there in the winter like he used to do in Oregon. I never fell once. Not with my balance. Remember, I was a dancer and I also skated a lot as a kid.

I thank God for finally answering my prayers, even though I don’t know why it took Him nearly two years to do it. Guess there really is a time and a place for everything.

I told Andy, Mitch and Eileen the good news in an email, and once we find out even more, I’ll call Mom and Dad. He doesn’t know exactly what his job will entail just yet.

I’m still buzzing with so much excitement that I might not be able to concentrate on my story tonight (sorry boss!) but I have my work cut out for me thanks to Nane. :) So I better get to it soon!

Ah, to be able to wake up without that damn dark cloud hanging over us and without that phone never ringing. Woo-hoo!!! Every day I’d wake up and the first question on my mind would be whether or not we were going to survive. Our unemployment was set to expire soon, and the pressure to beat the clock was getting really nerve-wracking. I’d try to enjoy the moment, then it’d hit me that we were on our last extension and time was fast running out.

Tic-toc, tic-toc…

I’d try to concentrate on my story or other things and try to live for the moment, then, you’re on the last tier.

Tic-toc, tic-toc…

Trying to study languages, then, less than 60 days to go.

Tic-toc, tic-toc…

Cleaning the house, then, will it really be as easy as you’ve heard to die by carbon monoxide poisoning?

Tic-toc, tic-toc…

Time’s up…

WE WIN!!!

It’s after midnight here and we had to shut windows tonight, which sucks, and probably will tomorrow night, too.

We were talking about the job and Tom said that if he really did get it, then the stress will be off of me and onto him since he’ll have the pressure of trying to do the best job possible, though I’m sure he’ll dazzle and amaze them with his smarts and abilities. He wants to get us insured as soon as possible so I can get my heart checked out. That’s ok, I’ll pass up Dr. Cardio for the dentist. :) Still, I got a kick out of the stress being shifted from me to him part. Ah, that’s a nice breath of fresh air! I could get very used to breathing it, too. :)

Later…

Had a little scare that woke me up an hour into my sleep where I woke up coughing. My throat was burning and I had trouble swallowing. I guess I burped up some stomach acid – yuck!

Got up at 1:30 and had a busy first few hours. I ran a few miles, got a 100% on my next Esperanto lesson, reviewed some English and Spanish submissions, then changed the rat’s cage. See what I mean when I say I do what most people don’t, LOL?

You know you moved to the wrong place when you’ve got all your windows shut during an August afternoon. It did later make it up to 83º in here and I’m letting it get as warm as possible because it’s to drop to 53º tonight. I don’t think it’ll go over 83º, though, as it’s already almost 6:00.

Maliheh’s got me bookmarked now. :) Before she would jump in from FB.

I was just about to demolish my Facebook account when a friend reminded me that they like to see my language lesson scores posted there (yeah, wait till they start dropping as the lessons get harder), and other friends have no other means of getting a hold of me when they want to. I also like the “connection” to Maliheh, even if there isn’t really any connection. If I wanted a private account, then you bet I’d get out of there! But for now, I’ll leave things alone, even if a part of me will probably always consider leaving Facebook, MySpace and Formspring. Part of my artificial intelligence work requires me to have these kinds of accounts, and sometimes I enter sweeps that are connected to them too, which is another reason to keep them open.

With Tom working I’ll be “eligible” to win more. “You know how it works,” I told him. “The rich get richer and the poor get poorer.” We may not be poor or rich, but the concept is the same; the more money you have, the more it seems you get, and vice versa. The only time I won big when we really needed money was when I psyched out that 9 grand in the motel.

Anyway, Tom set up my microphone for me and now I’m back in training. “Where have you been? I’ve missed you,” my German buddy told me on LiveMocha. LOL, I’d say I’ve been missing her a little more than she’s been missing me. And tonight I’m sure I’ll give her a good laugh with the speaking exercise of the next German lesson, though she’ll probably be in bed if she’s like most people blessed with the ability to keep a normal schedule. It’s 8 or 9 hours later in Germany.

My Esperanto teacher is just some guy named Panta. I can’t imagine being called Panta, LOL. I should go see if ole Panta Claus has reviewed my lesson yet.

To answer other questions – yes, learning languages takes regularity to ground things in and to retain them. I study for at least a few minutes almost every day. Sometimes I do whatever language I’m in the mood to do, other times I have set plans. And yes, one will help with the other, but they also confuse and override each other. It seems that when I speak a sentence, my voice wants to throw in the words of whatever language I think of them first. So sometimes my Spanish sentences are sprinkled with Italian, and sometimes it’s the other way around.

Might work on my story tonight, but probably won’t post anything.

Tom went on a job interview at a temp place in Grass Valley. The job is for manufacturing video equipment. I asked if he thought he got the job, but he said they were very hard to read so he doesn’t know. They said they’d make their decision soon. Instead of discussing much about the job, though, they asked him about himself, including whether or not he has a computer. He told them he has an iMac and before that, he used to build his own computers. Calls and interviews are nice, but he needs to be hired!

Alison and Kim are my top cyber pals along with Mitch and Dorian, even if I don’t hear much from them guys lately (along with my special buddy).

I hope my heart doesn’t go weirding out on me again. Yesterday I had palpitations every few minutes! It was really annoying. And today it’s beating a little fast and hard.

I don’t know why, but I only slept for 5 hours and so I’m tired today. Chapter 6 really burned me out so I’ll probably take a break and not work on my story till next week. Tomorrow we’re picking up my microphone and so I’ll be busy with my German and Esperanto lessons!

Later…

OMG, OMG, OMG!!! Yes, I have what is the best news after 22 long, stressful, frustrating months! Tom got a job!!! dances with delight Yes, he really, really got a job!!! shouts for joy We won’t know the details until next Monday, though, because we missed her call. The cell phone won’t ring inside the trailer cuz of the metal walls and trim. She called right before closing time and when he went outside to call her back when he saw there was a message, she was gone. She simply said, “I have some good news for you. Call me back.” He left a message that he’d call back Monday morning.

Although it’s only a temp place and he may or may not be hired on permanently, the sense of relief and happiness is sooooo nice and it’s sooooo overdue! Watch out, OLS, the influencer is coming back and she’s gonna kick ass! Gonna start raking in those wins again like crazy! You know how it works for psychics of my kind – the better the mood, the more good things happen. And it’s in a much more extreme way than with most people. You can’t win all I used to win without being at least somewhat psychic!

Watch, I said to Tom, now that you’ve got this job, other offers will come crawling out of the woodwork. He said he was just about to say the same thing. It was so fucking funny! It felt so good to really laugh, and then we laughed harder when he said that he’s still gotta put in 3 applications tomorrow for his unemployment form. Depending on the hours and pay we may still get unemployment checks for a while. Don’t know yet.

Someday we’re gonna buy a house and really go home! Oh, yes we are. We’re gonna take back what we lost and this time I ain’t letting nothing tear us down again. Like Maliheh said to Joni in the story, “I’m taking and I ain’t never giving back what I take!”

I don’t know why I didn’t see it in my dreams, but you know me, it’s usually the bad things that I have dream premonitions about.

I will continue to work at home with the online job and the writing. Right now I’m too excited to write anymore or work on my story. twirls with delight I’m just gonna listen to music or watch movies. And hope my heart stops beating funny. Got a bit of chest pain too, but nothing serious.

Oh, shit! Now I’ll be taking on all the chores again now that he’ll be working, LOL! What a nice problem to have, huh? Woo-hoo!!!

In other news, there’s a new twist in the Maliheh case. Sort of. At 8:30 ET I got a Hope Mills hit. One hour later I got hit by Fayetteville. Same providers, different IPs. Hmm… maybe the Hope Mills visitor wasn’t her after all. It definitely wasn’t a case of her modem resetting and assigning a new IP# cuz the Fayetteville one is the same as always. I think that with the story heating up, she’s just more anxious to share it with friends, LOL. I’m getting a lot more hits from people in states she’s lived in before or that she’s got friends in, like Missouri and Kansas. And they don’t seem to mind that I know it, too.

I also have a regular visitor from a university in Ohio. They would come in once every week or two, but now they too, are coming in more often.

I noticed a missing word in a sentence in the last part of the story and so I added it in. I also put a sentence in quotes that shouldn’t have been in quotes and corrected a word in the steamy dream scene. beats head How do I keep missing these things? I mean, I know a lot of work goes into writing a book and that it’s no easy task, but after going through one silent read-through and one electronic read-through, you’d think I’d catch more of these things. Argh!

Maliheh’s getting pretty anxious for the next part of the story, seeing that she’s already been in at least 4 times today, LOL. I never would’ve believed in a million years she’d be back in my life, even though she’s not really, and she’ll never contact me unless I “make” her. I think I’ll go make her say hello on my blog right now. It’s been a few days.

Got my first visit from someone in NJ from the old diary site. Since I’m still on the favorites page there’s no way to know if they specifically looked for me over there or if they linked in through the favorites page.

I want my damn adapter so I can learn more of my beautiful teacher’s ugly language! If it doesn’t arrive at the mail place today, then tomorrow for sure.

Now that I’ve gotten enough other work done, it’s time to tackle chapter 6. I hope to have at least some of it posted by around 9pm.

Later…

There’s no way I can finish chapter 6 today. It’s just too much work and taking much longer than expected. Part of this is because I’m referring to past journals where I mention Maliheh. I’m not sure yet if I’m going to use some of the actual excerpts or just work them into the story in other ways, but when I was reading through from the second half of 1991 to the beginning of 1992, a couple of surprises jumped out at me.

I wrote that I sent Maliheh a “prank” letter in February of 1992. But I never had her address! I also have no recollection whatsoever of writing/sending the letter. In the whacky letter, I would have mixed lines from songs and shit like that so it was really confusing.

I also may’ve falsely accused her of returning the prank calls. Maybe at least some of them had nothing to do with her. According to what I read, a guy called me in November and hit on me. They also mentioned that I’d had a breakdown the other night and was at the Northampton crisis center which was true. I had been. I spoke to the crisis center people by phone a few times each month during the 10 months I lived in S. Deerfield. The bar’s parking lot was within view of the crisis center and so I had assumed that Maliheh and some friends were at the bar that night and saw me. I do stand out and don’t exactly have many look-alikes.

The same guy called back two months later in January. Only problem is that I had a different phone number! They cut my service for a while because I had a huge phone bill, and when they reconnected me it was with a different number.

That leaves two possibilities – that all or at least some of the calls were either connected to Kim and Mark, or to a crisis worker.

Reading back on some of this shit I see that yes, I was one mixed-up, immature person, alright, but I also understand how and why the accumulative effects of the experiences I had in life could cause one to lash out the way I did, right or wrong. I don’t expect others to understand me and I’m not trying to make excuses for what I did. I also realize that I will never truly be forgiven for what I did, simply because most people don’t forgive. They may talk about it and agree that it seems like a nice concept, but I know it’s not real life for the most part. This doesn’t mean that I myself am going to switch back into non-forgiving mode, even if I probably should.

I still don’t hold a grudge either way for the calls (if she was behind them) or for upsetting me with any disagreements we had after all these years. The past is the past. Had she robbed me or beaten me or tried to kill me, that would be different. That I would never and could never forgive. Yet despite being fucked over a million times worse by a few others in life, she has remained just as memorable as them in my mind. Strange, huh? I wonder if she’d be less memorable had she not been someone I was attracted to.

Signing in today at a scorching 107º. This is definitely the hottest day since moving into this place! I feel bad for the dogs. Most people out west wouldn’t take their dogs outdoors no matter how hot or cold it got. We’re going to drop down to the 70s by the weekend at which time I’m sure Jesse will make quite a racket, then it’s going to come up again. I wonder how much longer he’s going to be out of work. I’m sure he’ll be back in time for the weather to be cool enough for the dogs to start barking their asses off which they prefer to do in the cooler weather.

Got caught up on Formspring questions which I’m now sending to Twitter and Facebook, did some online work, cleaned the bathroom, went out for burgers and fries, and will soon begin chapter 6 of my book.

Now my story has two votes, so I see, while the journal has one.

For some reason, the satellite images of this area on Google Maps are the closest and clearest ever. And they’re pretty recent too, as you can see the ugly strips of fake grass by the trailer, our car, our shed, his place, etc. Too bad I wasn’t out running that day, LOL. If I thought the pile of crap he has down here is ugly enough, he has a ton of crap all over the back of the land. Fortunately, we can’t see it here. Neither can he or his neighbors as there are too many trees surrounding it. It’s so cockish, though. It really is.

We checked our old places in Oregon and Arizona, but they don’t have such detailed images on their maps yet. Mitch (Paul) says they’re scary and that you can see his mother’s birdbath in the backyard.

Nane and I swapped a couple of messages on the language site. She had the same problem with her microphone at first, too. My adapter should arrive tomorrow or the next day so she and I can get back to work – ooh! Like I said, having a good-looking teacher helps make learning more fun since German is kind of an ugly language. Gotta learn it, though, as every language I learn helps with other things.

Last night I dreamt that Tom, Maliheh and I were all watching a movie one night in a ground-floor apartment. We seemed to be on the end of a strip of little apartments. It almost looked like the NHA. Tom and Maliheh were sitting in recliners and I was sitting on the floor sort of between them.

“Anyone want some popcorn or hot chocolate?” I asked during a commercial.

Tom looked over at Maliheh and said, “Need anything from our little waitress?”

“Yeah, but I don’t tip,” Maliheh answered.

I laughed and Tom and Maliheh exchanged amused smiles. Then Tom suddenly looked worried and said, “There’s someone outside.”

It was as if he knew there was trouble, and so he bolted from his chair and ran out the front door. I jumped into my flip-flops and followed. Seeing no one in sight, I ran into the apartment next door which the front door was wide open. Immediately I knew something bad must’ve happened. The place was trashed and there was a bloody trail leading to the back door which was also wide open. I didn’t see a soul in sight and began to call out Tom’s name in a panic, even though I knew I shouldn’t be leaving fingerprints, hairs or anything else of mine at a probable crime scene.

“Jodi, get back here! NOW!” I heard Maliheh shout from out front.

“But Tom’s not answering. He’s in the woods in back. Something’s wrong!” I cried as I followed Maliheh back into our place where she shut and locked the doors.

“We have to call the police!” I said.

“I’ve already called them,” she said. “Just get down.”

“Down where?”

“On the floor. Now!”

And then I woke up before we could find Tom.

Too bad I didn’t first contact Maliheh just one day sooner than I did. I would’ve been her birthday present, LOL, as I just learned that her birthday is May 13th. So’s Mike M’s.

I decided to let Alison in on the Maliheh thing in an email. I was curious about her opinion on what she thinks may be going through Maliheh’s mind. Next comes Mitch and Tom, but not just yet as far as Tom’s concerned. He’s as paranoid as I am a worrywart, so I don’t want him getting all worried that I’m doing anything to draw in the bacon.

Later…

LOL, Maliheh’s getting impatient for the next part of the story. I didn’t get around to posting anything new today. She checked more often and later, too. Her last check was at nearly 3am her time. Can’t sleep, huh? LOL

Nane, my oh-so-attractive German teacher corrected my last German lesson, but never checked out my journal or caught up with me on Facebook. But hey, why should anyone I find attractive want to associate with me unless they’re crazy like Marie?

Yesterday I won two instant wins in a row for Carl’s Jr. breakfast coupons! The influencer is back! Sure hope she is anyway.

Looks like Maliheh’s buddy in Kansas just checked out the steamy sex scene I just posted, though she’s only listed as being in the U.S. this time. As soon as I saw they came from Facebook, I figured there was a connection. But trying to hide behind a proxy (although Tom says they’re not necessarily doing so) didn’t help them, since all I had to do was point at the newest dot on the map to figure out where they were.

I’m sitting here with my hair all gunked up with hair dye, not looking forward to the long half-hour ahead of me. I didn’t want to put my glasses on and get dye on the frames, nor did I want to sit staring blindly into space. So I magnified the hell out of the screen so I could type. People with ADHD don’t do well sitting still with nothing to do.

It’s going to be over 100º tomorrow and the next day – yay!

Jesse (and probably his kid) were annoying for a while on the dirt bike, but otherwise, I enjoyed my 3-mile run today. It was the easiest it’s been in a while, so now I have to speed up or run longer. I think I prefer the speed. I’m running around 5 to 6 MPH.

Since Tom doesn’t exercise much other than when he’s out working on the land or doing inside projects, and since I prefer running to biking, we decided to throw the bike outside on the deck.

Tom received a couple of calls regarding jobs. While they do seem encouraging, I hate to get my hopes up after all this time of nothing happening. For now, we remain a pair of “accomplished losers.” Accomplished losers with so much to offer the world, but unable to find just who to offer it to.

My Facebook friend in Italy, Marilena, said that if we don’t make it to Italy she’ll come see us instead. That’d be nice. She seems like a really nice lady. I guess she’s married with kids and doesn’t know very much English, but has always wanted to visit the U.S. Yeah, come on over. We’re all fat here, our computers come first, and we wouldn’t dare think of helping a stranger in need. :)

My German teacher and I are now friends on the language site, who happens to be extremely good-looking. Makes learning more fun. :) Her name is Nane and I look forward to working with her. She has dark hair and eyes and is older. I’ve always liked older women for some reason. I can’t really think of anyone I was attracted to who was my age or younger.

Wow, Maliheh must be getting impatient, LOL, because she checks out my journal 3 or 4 times a day, she pretty much knows what schedule I’m on (I’m off to a late start today), and has been checking my journal every hour for updates. Man, I still wish to hell I knew what she was thinking! Is she over the past? Wanting to screw me? Does she like the story? Will she ever contact me or accept the friend invite?

Brandy went off (I think it was Brandy) before sunup, and Whiskey went off at 7am. Was Jesse even home last night? I know he went out at 6pm last night, but did he ever return? At age 54, I doubt he’s seeing anyone, but if he were, why not bring her here to what is a big beautiful house? Let me guess… God would rather he go to her so I can listen to the dogs, right? Bet He’d have her come here for damn sure if they would blast music for hours and hours that we could hear down here.

I got up to find the bedroom at 70º and the living room at 65º. That is totally freezing to me! And it’s not even September yet. The unseasonably cool weather we’ve had for the last couple of days is to end soon and we’re to be back at 100º - yes! But why oh why am I so damn sensitive to cold? I hate it when the place is under 77º except for when I’m sleeping or working out! I love having it between 77º and 82º in here. I hate to have to be bundled up in robes and to wear long sleeves that get caught on things and restrict my movements. It’s making me think of Florida more and more, though I know that if we make it, we’d never have the money to move there, and if we did, I wouldn’t have the guts to make the move after having each long-distance move I’ve made get more and more disastrous. Living on the edge of poverty really restricts your options, but instead of getting all pissed off about it, I’m trying to learn to accept that some things are just meant to be and there’s only so much we can do to change them. If we’re not meant to have money so as to be held back in life, nothing we do is going to change things. Not much anyway.

I was teasing Tom yesterday and we were laughing and joking about some things which helped take my mind off of things. “Love how they say it targets only the grays,” I said as I was reading the box of hair dye he bought for himself. “You’re gonna really be under target,” I added, and he laughed.

Then when I took a break from writing to give my mind a rest from so much thinking, I went into the living room and said, “Writing a book is such hard work. No matter how good you may be at it, the editing takes forever. I feel like I’ve written dozens of pages, but I’ve only written a few.”

I headed back into my little office to write some more when he comes out of the bathroom and says, “I wanted to pull a few brown hairs to later compare with the dyed ones, but I can’t find any to pull.”

I laughed my ass off and assured him there were a few in back I could pull for him. “But then I won’t have any left to compare with,” and we were cracking up again. It was so fucking funny!

We were also remembering the time the refrigerator door fell off in old Gert. It happened right as Tom was crashing and had the sheet over his head. I was startled and squealed out in panic as it fell off, but what was so hilarious (though it wasn’t the least bit hilarious at the time) was seeing how fast he struggled to get that sheet off his head. It must’ve taken him at least 5 seconds to get untangled from the sheet, and of course he was like, “Calm down, it’s no big deal.” But I wouldn’t hear it. I went right into my why-does-God-hate-us? mode.

He started to haul the refrigerator door outside and I yelled, “What are you doing going out in the dark? Are you out of your mind? Get back in here!” And after I reminded him we were in the middle of the forest – a northwestern pine forest - with no one around for miles but bears and other deadly goodies, he said he doubted any bears would get him. “Maybe just a mountain lion instead, right?” I said.

“But where do I put the thing?” he asked, and I told him to put it on top of the rat’s cage for all I cared, but we were NOT going outside.

Something was really out to get him one day. We went into the city (K-Falls) for pizza, went back out to the land, and he puked. Then he was working on adjusting the satellite dish that was on back of the RV when the wrench slipped from his hand and bonked him just under the eye. So he had to walk around with a black eye, looking like he got punched out for a week.

Oh, what fun and disastrous times we had in the Pacific Northwest until circumstances forced us to abandon old ugly Gert and the land. Oh well. It was too fucking cold anyway. It was in the 30s there last night.

Later…

They made me a translator on livemocha.com. That Spanish submission I had to review the other day wasn’t a mistake after all. Because my score in Spanish is so high, they made me Community English and Spanish teacher and now translator as well. The only thing is that I do enough for free, and all they give you are “mocha points.” Big deal! I care more about cash than showing off achievements.

I really wish people would quit sending me their speaking lessons with TVs blaring in the background. Use your fucking heads, people!

My first attempt to “psych” a bingo scratch ticket into winning was a bust. beats head But I was one number away from a $5 winner on 2 of the 4 games. You get a second chance to win online, too. Tom said that since I was never 100% on these things anyway, we’ll soon try one more time on another ticket.

sighs And I still say that I lost that ability upon moving here, though I don’t know why. At least I can still keep the colds away and have the dream premonitions even if some of them aren’t good.