Had what I thought was a real period starting yesterday but all has been clear so far today. Forget “erratic.” This has gotten more like crazy. When they first became erratic there was still a degree of predictability in them, but not anymore.

Changed the rats’ cage and went to Goodwill. Got some incense and a cute squirrel figure to decorate the patio with.

Trying to figure out why the people next to the Twenties have a movie projector screen in front of their place. I’m guessing they’re using it to shade a particular plant.

Going swimming in a couple of hours. Right now the brats have the pool.

Got two more necklaces, one pink gems and silver, the other blue gems and silver. Both are beautiful but overpriced.

Ran into Virginia and gave her our new cell numbers. I asked her if they’d ever had woodpecker problems, and they haven’t. She says she doesn’t go to the pool, but Bob sometimes does. This doesn’t surprise me.

Had some interesting dreams last night. In one, we lived back out in the country. One of us left the door open and a big black bear wandered in. At first we were both holed up in the bedroom terrified. Eventually, Tom decided to go out and try to sweet talk it back outside. I stayed in the bedroom trying to listen through the door, terrified for Tom. After a while, I slowly opened the door to find both the bear and him sitting on the floor with him gently cooing to it.

“Do you want me to call 911 now?” I asked.

He said no, not yet, and that was the end of that dream. He got a kick out of it when I later told him about it.

Then I had this really cool dream about a house in which a river sort of wrapped around part of the living room. I don’t know if we lived there, but what was cool was how the walls raised up like a garage door at the push of a button, turning the living room into a dock and giving the feeling of having a floating living room. The river was greenish in color and in a heavily wooded area.

I also had a dream of running super fast down a curvy path in the woods. I began to wonder if it was worth going to wherever it led to (a friend’s place?) because it was not only getting dark but there were patches of mud that I didn’t want to slip on.

Later…

Oh, that felt sooo good! So good to get it all out after 3 years of sitting back in silence. Well, almost all of it out, anyway. Yes, we have finally voiced our opinion of life in this park in an anonymous survey. Finding brats at the pool yet again during hours they weren’t supposed to be was what prompted us to speak up.

As I learned the hard way from past experience… if you complain, people can’t handle it and they retaliate, no matter how legit and reasonable your complaint may be. Thanks to the freeloaders in Arizona, I often find myself hesitant to speak my mind. You just never know what kind of connections they may have. Then I realized that as a paying customer, I not only have every right to speak up when something bothers me but not doing so would really be letting them win. Like a rape victim is essentially letting her rapist win if she crawls into a shell and never lets herself out of it, I’m only letting the desert shitsters win by keeping my mouth shut. Oh, I don’t expect my two cents’ worth to change anything. It’s just that I can only keep quiet so long before I feel like I’m going to explode. I may be anti-revenge/vengeance (unless anyone ever harmed us), but I believe one should always have the right to say what’s on their mind if they can do it in a civilized manner.

Not wanting to overdo it, we agreed to mention no more than 3 things, so we chose the top 3 annoyances. The motorcycles roaring in and out, sometimes as early as 6am, was number 4, and the live band they sometimes have that penetrates these walls and my peace was number 5 on our list, so we left those out.

Number 1 is definitely the way too frequent landscaping and project sounds, especially the landscaping. It’s a big park. We get that. But restricting this racket to 2-3 days a week instead of near-daily in the summer and daily in the winter would be nice, so we can at least count on enjoying a few days off from it. The park’s gas-powered blowers are insanely loud.

Number 2 is the frequent water shut-offs. When we were told they sometimes have to turn the water off, we thought that meant a few times a year. Not twice a month.

Number 3 is finding screaming brats in the pool as often as we have after 1pm when they’re supposed to be gone. We didn’t sign on for that or else we’d have stayed in an all-ages community. Seriously, I’m sick of all the rules people break around here. We’ve got kids living in at least one house (though I never said anything because it’s not near us) and at least 2 households that we know of that leave dogs out overnight.

We still rate this park a 7 on an overall basis and understand that no place is perfect, but for the fortune we pay to live in an upscale luxury park, rules should be better enforced and the place should be quieter.

OMG, talk about a hilarious typo that auto-corrected quite incorrectly! Until I caught it, the last part of my last sentence read: for the fortune we pay to live in an upscale luxury park, rules should be better enforced and the place should be queer.

LMAO!

Now doubting that account is Aly. Another account with the same name was created, and this one has an actual bio that’s definitely not Aly. Still think she and Kim will be back sooner or later, though. What amazes me is the lack of contact from Molly. If she still reads me, she’s doing a great job of hiding herself.

Even though it was a pointless waste of time and I should totally move on and forget those that don’t give a shit about me (I guess even I have a touch of Molly in me) I did reach out to Aly on Skype. I told her I miss her at times and that if she can be honest, I promise to keep my opinions to myself.

I tweeted that I went to Walmart and got those Fruit of the Loom boy shorts I like so much. How long do you think it’ll take Fruit to notice and tweet a hearty thanks for wrapping my ass in their cottony comfort? ;)

The AC had me worried again the other day. As I’ve learned, it’s not good to lower the temp right after it’s cycled off. I had to stop it and restart it and it got up to 83° in here before the compressor kicked in.

While I still think the statins did in fact make my throat sore, it’s official… the Squigle definitely was what prolonged the soreness. I stopped it for a while and restarted it as a test, and sure enough, my throat got scratchy again. Now the question is… would the soreness caused by the statins have eventually gone away? We read reports that were all over the place as far as that goes. Some said it was gone in a day or two, others said it never went away. I still need a break from anything other than my usual 75mgs of levothyroxine, so I’ll pass on finding out for now. I just knew that whatever was causing it wasn’t anxiety as the doctor tried to tell me she thought it was. I’ve been 99.9% anxiety-free lately and I’d like to keep it that way. One way to help do that is to stop the medication drama. This doesn’t mean I’m not making an effort to eat foods with low or no cholesterol, though. I am!

My new skier is to be delivered on Tuesday. Knowing it’s going to get boring after a while, I’m looking for a new show to watch since I’m caught up on Criminal Minds and Bates Motel till new seasons are added. I started Scream, though only 1 season is available right now.

Tom’s heading into work at 11:00. Oh, the OT he’s been wracking up with the changes going on at work. We love the money as it will help get shit paid off, but the poor guy has no life. The extreme OT shouldn’t last much longer, though.

Was very unhappy to see some guy measuring The Twenties’ carport. Obviously, a garage is going to be put up and I’ll have to listen to that probably all next week since I’ll be on days. Again, amazing coincidence, huh? That Jackie just happens to get her hot water tank damage fixed right after our vacation, then it’s off to relandscape the house next to them, then Jackie moves out, the Twenties move in, and now they want a garage. So they can work in it? Tom said they’re not the kind to work in it. No, but they sure do a great job of hiring others to work for them and annoy the shit out of me while they’re at it.

It’s common for at least my neighbors to start off civilized, then get noisy a few months in. Besides, once the fall sets in the project frenzy is going to start back up on a regular basis. I just wish everyone could leave their walkways, roofs and shit like that alone for a while! These people obviously have money. We could tell that the day they moved in. So I’m sure I’ll be in for more than just one home renovation project. Really, why is it that I do a project and no one hears about it? Others do a project and I gotta know they’re every move.

It pisses me off every time I hear a motorcycle go by, another “coincidence” that became allowed when we moved in. I can feel AND hear them. They rumble so loudly I can feel the vibration in the floorboards beneath my feet.

Finished my 34th novel (that I didn’t trash). The Interviews is 10014 words before the final edit.

Made a 14-minute homevid for Tammy. She said she loved it as it made her feel closer to me. She wants to connect on Skype where I considered contacting Aly and Kim just to fuck with them, but said nah. I gotta let go. Besides, if they’re not already doing so, they’ll just run and block me from every account they create there.

I did contact Maliheh and Alyssa just for kicks, though I know I won’t hear about it if they get the message.

Yesterday I left Stacey a message to see if she could bump me up earlier, but she’s to be out of the office till the first.

Started using the Squigle toothpaste again to see if it messes up my throat. That and the dizziness have been much better. I still think it was started by the statins and prolonged by allergies.

Looks like Aly rejoined Prosebox, just as I knew she would, so it’s a good thing I went back from MO to FO. The only thing that’s a little strange is that she’s listed as being a year older than she actually is and doesn’t have a bio or a profile pic. But the account name sounds totally her. I hope it is so I can enjoy knowing she looked for me to block me, and probably the “dream” account I used to have as well, only to be unable to find either account.

Love my new necklace with the purple roses and gems, and I love my new necklace holder just as much. It’s way better than my other one. It’s rose gold-colored and has 24 hooks. I have all my necklaces and bracelets on it, plus a few extra hooks. I could easily put 2-3 necklaces/bracelets per hook, though.

It was so hot out yesterday that my HR soared to the 120s just getting the mail. Looks like the “Twenties” (can’t explain how I gave them that nickname) are back to being a one-vehicle household.

Might have to reschedule my appointment with Stacey. I should’ve scheduled it 3 weeks out instead of 4. I’ll call later this morning and see if she can bump me up a week. If not we’ll just keep the appointment for the 10th and I’ll reschedule a day or two in advance if need be.

I’ve remained anxiety-free, but there’s no way to know how the EMDR is going to affect me unless something bad happens, but of course I don’t want anything bad to happen in the first place in order to find out.

Walked a half-hour with Tom in perfect weather conditions. My hips are fine, but who knows how they’ll feel later? To think that I’m getting too “old” to run kinda pisses me off. I’m 50, not 80. Still planning on getting a skier to replace the treadmill with on days I work out indoors.

My little king (Burke) had fun going up and down the ramps to get treats, but his roommates don’t quite get that yet. They beg upstairs. I hear squeaking now, so they’re probably cleaning each other.

Yesterday proved that even us 50-year-olds can have some mischievous and immature moments. I wasn’t ready for bed but didn’t have enough energy left to do anything productive so I decided to do a little Aly retweeting and let my sarcastic side fly a bit. She basically bitched about her feelings being trampled on and I was enjoying seeing that karma bit her in the ass and I wasn’t afraid to say so. I could never hate her so bad as to wish she’d get hit by a bus or something like that, but it was kind of nice, even if two wrongs never make a right, to see someone have absolutely no regard whatsoever for how she feels.

She keeps saying I hate her. Wrong. I hated the lies and the phoniness. I hated being thrown away like yesterday’s trash. That’s what I hated. I hated making a point of checking in with her from the hotels in Florida, knowing she was suffering from depression, just to come home to be insulted by finding that she tweeted how she was looking forward to not hearing from me during my vacation.

A part of me even hoped she’d want to resume the friendship, not just because I missed the positive side to what we had, but so that I could feed her a taste of her own medicine and dump her. But I don’t think I could bring myself to do that because then I’d be just as bad as she was if I led her to believe I cared and would always be there for her, just to eventually claim I was tired of our differences and then cast her aside like trash.

Naturally, she ran and told Kim of the RTs and Kim went on her blocking spree before I got a chance to change links. No problem though. I just dumped that account and created a new one. Then I took the honor of blocking two of Kim’s accounts, even though I’m not going to let either one of them know about this account. It’s not private, but I made sure it can’t be found easily.

In regards to my tweet about finding it strange that she hasn’t tweeted about cancer or chemo, she tweeted that she no longer shares personal info. I found this when I got up.

She did a little RTing of her own, too. Some tweet about getting that you don’t like me but not caring.

She said it wasn’t so much that she didn’t care, but that she was over the “childishness” because there was nothing to gain from it.

No, I think she truly and honestly doesn’t care. If she did she wouldn’t have dumped me.

Last night I dreamed it was late at night. I might’ve just finished watching a movie in a theater somewhere. I was supposed to call my parents to come and get me, but couldn’t find their numbers in my phone and couldn’t remember them off the top of my head either. I began to really worry when some guy said I missed the last bus.

Then I was shopping with some woman and just had to have an encyclopedia for some reason. It was one big book that I got rather than a set. The woman bought it for me and I assumed it was just $10. She shocked me by saying it actually cost $100. Then I was pissed because I noticed that a few lines on each page were overlapped.

In the last dream, I was following Alyssa on Twitter who blew my mind by saying the pics from her latest trip were a present for her 48th birthday. In reality, she’s 35, but in the dream, I was flabbergasted to learn she was that old.

Later…

A tiny part of me is tempted to pray my ass off every single day for Stacey to one day befriend me if I can stop needing to run to her for shit that happens to me, but I know better. I know exactly what’s going to happen and that fate cannot be changed through prayer, even if there is a God. Only what’s meant to be is going to happen to us whether we pray for it or not. I totally believe that. That’s why some prayers go unanswered. We can’t just ask for whatever and always get it or else everyone would always have everything they wanted.

Again, I know what’ll happen… I’m going to see her one more time. Instead of dropping small hints and exhibiting body language (though not on purpose) that at least makes me think she might like me, she’ll come off as oh-so-serious and professional as ever and will probably give me just 20 minutes instead of 45.

Then I’ll go home and miss the shit out of her while I think of her every single day just as I have been with her and with Alyssa until they slowly begin to fade a bit by being replaced by someone else I can never have a friend. In 5, 10, and probably even 20 years from now, I’ll still remember her name, but she’ll have forgotten mine.

That’s what will happen, probably to a tee.

I went info diving on her again. I don’t know why I’m such an info whore, but I guess it’s like a fun game… sort of like a treasure hunt. The object of the game is to uncover whatever tidbits of information I can. Well, I got more than I expected to find and that includes Stacy’s exact address in Auburn. I even know that she has a three-bedroom, two-bath house that’s almost 2000 ft.² and was built in 1988. I looked at it via satellite, and to be honest, it doesn’t exactly look like anything I picture a clinical psychologist to live in. It looks like a regular neighborhood, though it is certainly nicer than average. I’m sure she could get a lot more for the place than we could get for ours. It’s much nicer than our old neighborhood in Phoenix where everybody had one floor and little box houses about 1200 to 1400 ft.² Some of these houses had two floors. Stacey doesn’t have a pool, but then when would she find the time to use it? Anyway, they’re what I describe as “tooth houses,” but they’re not jammed as tightly together as we were in Phoenix and many neighborhoods in the west. The driveways also don’t run alongside the homes but go right up to the house instead. I’m surprised that the house only has a single-car garage being as big as it is.

Stacey is also said to be the “most famous” psychologist in the area. Well, she’s the best I’ve ever had.

Gonna make a home vid for Tammy only. The “tour” I’m going to give her is going to be as close to the real thing as we can get, just in case she never makes it out here.

I made a quick 40-second rat video to test sound and visuals and shared that with everyone on Facebook, plus a few other places.

Training the rats to go up and down the exit ramp using treats as bribes and rewards. So cute. Right now they’re enjoying the curtain scraps I cut out earlier and getting ready to bed down for the day.

Two years ago I got 3 sets of scenic curtains. I hung a beach scene by the front door and a garden scene in the dining area. The forest scene never got hung anywhere until today when I decided to replace the sheer lace curtain in the laundry room for extra privacy. It looks awesome in there! I’m amazed at just how great it looks. I just had to trim the bottom half off. The brown “window shutters” which open to the scene match the brown trim framing the window. The blue “sky” goes well with the blue walls, and the pink flower trees mixed in with the spruces add a nice contrast. I love how it adds privacy to that room while allowing me to still be able to see what’s going on in the street.

My throat’s been better and I’m wondering if the special toothpaste I got could have had anything to do with that, though I doubt it. Most likely the statins gave me a sore throat and then allergies kept it going for a while. But now that it’s really hot again it’s been better.

I gotta stop saying how much better I’ve been sleeping, because every time I do, I end up sleeping shitty. I woke up in pain a few hours after crashing. My whole body hurt. My hips didn’t hurt after my last long walk, but at this time my hips and my right shoulder were killing me. I don’t get it. How can Bob and Jim walk a mile or two each day being in their 80s with seemingly no problem at all, and I can’t? They’re skinny, though, while I’m 30 pounds overweight. Could that be a factor? And am I really getting arthritic? I read that it could be that or tendinitis or bursitis, and even less likely would be gynecological problems.

Anyway, I went back to sleep, then woke up with a stiff neck and now even my knees ache a bit. I don’t know what the hell’s going on for sure. Just gotta try to ignore it and make sure I don’t overdo things.

I first noticed joint issues in the early 2000s, which could’ve been connected to my thyroid crashing. So, since I may very well be getting too old for running and even such brisk walking, I’m looking into one of those non-electric no-impact skiers. I’m giving myself a break today from all workouts. No running, no walking, no strength training. Just some housework is all I’ll do today, along with my writing.

Went out walking together for an hour. No hip pain, so maybe I was just getting a little too inactive there for a while. Tammy said to ice it if it hurts. Still have my Bowflex workout awaiting me, and a house to clean. How did I once swim all day and dance on heels all night?

I’m wondering (and definitely hoping) if I’m getting toward the end of perimenopause because I haven’t had as many symptoms. I’m not dizzy all the time like I used to be, I’m sleeping a little better overall, I haven’t had anxiety, and I’m not hot flashing as much. I even had to turn the fan off the last two times I slept because I was actually chilly. In the middle of summer! Been keeping the house at 78° and it’s comfy. I used to keep it at 82° down in Arizona. I like the warmth. I drop it to 76° when I sleep, though, and if I’m doing anything physical like cleaning or working on the Bowflex, I set it at 77°.

When we were out walking we noticed these cute little umbrellas set up in front of someone’s house and thought they were strange but interesting decorations. Then we realized that given the angle of the umbrellas, they were probably shading what appeared to be little tomato patches. Bob and Virginia’s own tomatoes that they have growing in the front corner of their place look ripe and ready to pick.

I briefly read about the waitress who was fired for bashing Mexicans on Twitter and was like, you gotta be kidding me? Now your employment is based on your social life? I just think it’s really sad that people will waste the police and media’s time on such petty things, disagreeable or not, when they should be focusing on more important things. No one’s forced to read anything they don’t want to read, after all. What is it with this country claiming it has free speech anyway when your only “freedom” is to say what most people want to hear? I just think it’s a real abuse of law enforcement to go running to them because of what someone says or writes and not what they actually do. Hearing someone you disagree with isn’t like being assaulted or robbed. The cops should be putting their time and energy into rapists, robbers, arsonists and murderers and not someone that pissed you off or hurt your feelings.

Looking so forward to seeing Stacey! Yes, I admit it. I have come to have feelings for that brown-eyed brunette and I love our little get-togethers. A great guy… a great woman… how did I get so damn lucky?

Got some fun stuff coming from Amazon: A toe ring, a couple of swimsuits, a couple of necklaces, and a necklace holder.

Other than finding out where Stacey lives in her 3-bedroom, 2-bath house in Auburn that’s almost 2K square feet and built in 1988, I dreamed of sleeping on an airbed somewhere last night.

On Friday I crashed early and ended up sleeping 11 hours. I was just really tired for some reason.

Then yesterday I couldn’t fall asleep to save my life. So after being up 19 hours, I took a lorazepam. Then it hit me… why not try warm milk next time I have trouble sleeping?

I’m just tired of being tired every other day or every few days if I’m lucky. I really have to make a point of getting all I can possibly get done on days I have enough energy to do so. It’s frustrating at times when I want to do things, but my body would rather not.

Today my mind and body agreed on a nice long 44-minute walk. I would have made it an hour if it weren’t for that damn left hip of mine acting up. I don’t get it. Bob’s 36 years older than me yet he walks two miles every morning without fail. I know it’s pointless to play the comparison game, but still… what’s causing it? Age? Am I becoming arthritic? Could it be tied to my thyroid? I enjoyed my nice, peaceful walk just the same. A little warm out there, but nice. Only one vehicle drove by.

Tammy said to ice the hip after working out.

My throat was good yesterday but worse when I got up. Tom said others at work are complaining of a sore throat that comes and goes. Ironically enough, it got better after my walk. I’m still getting sick of it. Sometimes I feel like I’m coming down with a cold or running a fever, but every time I check my temp, it’s fine.

Again I was ignored by Aly when this time “Meagan” tweeted to her instead of “Emma” (this is definitely it. I swear!), so yeah, she either knows it’s me or she simply doesn’t care to respond to strangers.

Gonna change the rats’ cage when Tom gets up. Cappy’s already been sent back to his old home.

“Knowing that someone is around but not knowing why they’re being selective in who they talk to… Frustrating.”

Another Aly riddle on Twitter after I “liked” something of hers just to see how she may react. The first 5 words of this sentence had me thinking she was referring to me, but once I read on I wasn’t sure.

Here’s mine: Knowing I should move on from those who are dishonest and phony, but not being able to… Frustrating.

At least I haven’t contacted her as myself and likely never will. But maybe “Meagan” can and we’ll see what she says if anything.

I find it rather odd that she hasn’t spoken of cancer and chemo. She hasn’t even mentioned nannying.

Anyway, I haven’t a feeling she knows I’ve been lurking. I just don’t know how she knows it. She can hack accounts, but not without the alerts wired into their system alerting me. So… not sure what I’m doing to be so obvious.

I don’t think this “riddle” applies to me, though. She doesn’t give a shit about me. Therefore she wouldn’t care if I were selective about who I talked to. It’s probably a follower she’s trying to send an indirect message to. Something like, “Why don’t you pay the same attention to me that you pay to others?”

Waited for the temp to fall to the 70s so I could go out running. At 79° just after 11:00, I went out for 22 minutes. I walked more than I ran, though. My right hip was slightly annoying the last two times.

Looked at tips to lower cholesterol before lipid panel checks and they say to do 30 minutes of cardio 5x a week for that, and 60 minutes for weight loss and to raise “good” cholesterol while lowering “bad” cholesterol. They also say not to exceed 300 mg a day of cholesterol and to start two months before labs. Whole-fat dairy, eggs, organ meat and red meat are the biggest enemies, and I guess salt and sugar aren’t good either. The foods most recommended are oatmeal, apples, blueberries, raspberries and flaxseed.

These aging hips could never take an hour a day of cardio unless it was something like swimming.

High LDL or not, I can’t live on beans, potatoes and soup. Gotta get some variety in there. I’ll just be sure to stay away from Atkin’s.

Had dreams involving my parents and brother, but don’t remember what they were about. Also something about an outdoor event we attended and not wanting to park by the local loons when I recognized their vehicle nearby.

Here’s an interesting observation. Although we were all born in different months, between my parents and two siblings, our birth dates almost go in order. I was born on the 4th, dad on the 5th, and mom on the 6th. Then my sibs were born on the 15th and 16th. So a group of 3 and a group of 2.

Now get this. The dates of my parents’ and brother’s deaths, although also different months, are the 22nd, 23rd and 24th. So if Tammy dies first and she dies on something like the 12th, will I then die on the 11th or 13th?

Tom scared the shit out of me when I got up after 7 to find he still wasn’t home. But then I quickly found out why on Skype. The battery died on the car. So he stopped at Sam’s, got a new one for $140, and they even put it in for him.

Got a message from someone in which Facebook said the message was temporarily removed because the sender had yet to verify their account. I could still see it, though. They wrote: Hello how are you doing today angel??

I ignored the message and they later verified the account, which has just one friend added and a few, likes. One is a rat group I follow. The profile pic appears to be that of a younger man in Italy that’s decent-looking.

I doubt our local nuts are behind it, as I would think I’d get something nastier than what I got. Doesn’t seem like anything any former friends would pull either. Probably just some old, bald slut looking for X-rated attention that found me through the ratty group.

We went walking after 3am and passed two vehicles and a couple getting into their car. I still can’t believe how active this park is, even at night, though there’s no comparison between daytime and nighttime noise. At night you almost always never hear anything while you almost always hear something during the day.

We almost got blasted by a skunk on our walk. The skunk must’ve been asleep behind a bush we passed. When we startled it the thing ran across the street, but for a minute it looked like it was going to head toward us.

The dizzies are back, but fortunately, it’s been mild and hopefully, it will stay that way. Still have ear and throat irritation at times, though my mouth is already improving since I started eating yogurt again. This time I won’t be dumb enough to stop that. Or my antibacterial soap.

I was hoping to get a little B&E on in my dreams, but instead of having fun breaking into the homes of hotties or enjoying the beach, I went to a large party. People of all ages were present. This included what I knew to be my lawn statues of children that amazed me by trading in their stone for flesh and coming to life. They tore through the place, laughing like hyenas.

While I like this phone better overall, the two things I don’t like about it are that you gotta swipe to answer calls instead of tap, and the fact that when it dies it really dies. The other one would flash a low battery indicator and I’d charge it up, but it would still work and not take a year to charge. Well, this one died so bad it wouldn’t show me its progress when I first plugged it in, and took an hour just to get to 30%. Shouldn’t the thing be fully charged in an hour or less? From now on I’ll throw it in the charger before bed.

Had to choose between convenience and quality when it came to voice blogs on Tumblr and in the end I chose quality. Calling Tumblr’s line directly was quicker and easier, but Vocaroo sounds much clearer. It’s just a pain in the ass to have to convert it to an MP3 and then uploaded it to Tumblr, but when I’d call Tumblr directly, they wouldn’t always post the blogs and they had a two-minute limit per post. You can ramble all you want with Vocaroo, which I doubt I’ll use every day. I decided to make it a text and a voice blog. I’m sharing monthly blog posts there, but not daily stuff. It’s where I’ll discuss those darker things in life that some may find more depressing, hard to comprehend and controversial. I’ve chosen not to share it with anyone I presently know.

Yesterday I had no throat irritation but today my mouth feels gross. Wonder if it’s that flush thing. I’m gargling with salt water. Time to go back to yogurts, I guess, which can cause this if you stop eating them. I was just trying to avoid literally all cholesterol, even if it was something with a tiny amount in it.

Still no visual views from our local nutjobs. They were definitely afraid to contact me in public or else I think the harassment would’ve spilled over onto Blogger. Even though it seems incredibly unlikely, could they have served me without serving me? IDK, maybe someone’s been by to attempt to serve me and I never heard the door, so just like in Phoenix, maybe I dodged being served, though in Phoenix I knew it was coming, thanks to the black bitch’s threats warning me. Plus, Tom asked if I’ve had any nightmares, though when I asked if everything was ok, he said yes. Either way, I still don’t see how anything I did could’ve been even remotely illegal. So if I’m not expecting anyone, I’m not answering the door, though I have received some summons in the past via regular mail.

As usual, I woke up several times but slept better than I did the last time around. I had ocean dreams. I seemed to be on some excursion off of a small ship or yacht that was nearby. I asked a guy (the guy running the excursion?) how deep the water was where we were swimming and he said it was probably less than 20’ and that the water would be colder where it was deeper. Suddenly I felt the bottom beneath me as we neared this tiny little island.

Then there was something negative about Stacey. “We talked about that,” I either said or wrote, and I’m guessing it had to do with how we could never see each other outside of her office. More signs not to hope for a friendship later on down the road? Then again, do I really need any signs? I think common sense is enough. Even if it were ethical, and I think it would be after a year, past experience has taught me that the women I want in my life are always to be forbidden. I just don’t know why. Is there something about me that gravitates to the forbidden? Or is something up there guiding me to them as a tease or a form of punishment?

Hell, I still think of Alyssa to this day. Again, I never wanted to jump in bed with her any more than I do Stacey, being as old as I am now, but I still regret that we never got to be friends, as much as I understand why. Just to be a part of these women’s lives would’ve been nice, though. I’d rather impress them with something I’m good at than pleasure them or be pleased in bed, not that I could imagine bedding down with Stacey.

At the same time, I wouldn’t change a thing about my life (though it would be nice if Tom didn’t have to work so hard), I long for something to break up the monotony of things and spice up my life a bit. I crave interesting changes at the same time I hate change. Therefore, I’m not really sure what it is that I want. I’d love to have a pleasant-looking woman with a great personality be the icing on my delicious cake. But in my 50s I think of us chatting happily over coffee, and not the more X-rated things I’d have had in mind in my 20s. Like it or not, though, I should never see Stacey again after August 10th.

Tom said to ask if I could see her every 3 or 4 months if I wanted to, but I don’t want to hog up her time if I’m doing well, and then that 1% chance I may have of hearing from her later on down the road may be shot to hell for good.

Speaking of Alyssa, I hadn’t seen what she was up to for a while, so I ran her name. She’s marrying Donté Smith (so she didn’t just change that to be her last name on Facebook for how common it is), the black guy she’s been with, on September 15th. I figured she would eventually. She’d probably make a good mom too, though she doesn’t strike me as the mothering type. I think like many of today’s women she’s very career orientated.

Not surprisingly, they created a wedding website through The Knot, and have set up several gift registries. Also, not surprisingly, the weddings going to be a big to-do at a park in Tahoe.

First she wrote their story and it was very well written, too. Tae and Lys met as freshmen in college at 18 and 20, but since they were young and had lots to do, they went their separate ways for 7 years. Then one day she got his number through a mutual friend and she took it from there.

He proposed to her at their favorite spot overlooking the city by spelling out “Will you marry me?” with rose petals.

As I figured, he’s also in the health and fitness field. So… like most couples, they’re a carbon copy of each other except for the pigment of their skin.

One of the things they have on their registries is a Roomba vacuum. Smart choice, even if I find it strange that a couple that probably makes around a quarter mil a year would request gifts.

It was funny how she said that while they love kids, please don’t bring them unless you’re breastfeeding because they didn’t think the events would be appropriate for kids, and provided links to sitters.

LOL, really? Or could it be they don’t want the loud, destructive brats hanging around? And just what are these “events” going to entail? I know they have a hike planned for the day after the wedding. Don’t the happy newlyweds want some time alone? Just how in the world do a couple of doctors find the time to set all this stuff up anyway? And where do they get the money? If Alyssa’s parents were teachers, how did she get the money to “travel the world” and go to med school? Also, why did they wait so long to get hitched? After that 7-year break, Alyssa would’ve been 25. Well, she’s 35 now, so why did they wait a decade to decide to tie the knot?

Anyway, I’m happy for her. They do seem to be happy and despite the odds, I’d say they’ll always be together. I just wish I didn’t still think of her at times and have that “left out” kind of feeling. Then again, does it hurt anything if I do think of her?

Back to Stacey…if there’s absolutely no chance of meeting in the future, why didn’t she stop me and say something when I said certain things about her? Like how I like to hang out with calmer people, how I never would have met her if we hadn’t come to Cali, how great she looks, etc.?

Also, if she thinks she might consider contacting me someday, then why did she want to make sure I didn’t stop seeing her too soon? I mean, as a good therapist I’m sure she wants to make sure I’m stable regardless, but could she be hoping not to have to deal with me in the future, or could she hope to get me stable enough for a future friendship? The latter’s probably just a dream. Watch… she’ll seem just the opposite next time and maybe in a hurry to see me off, thus crushing any signs, however faint they may be, of us as friends later on. That’s how it usually works.

Mr. Rattitude and the newcomers go nose to nose with each other through the ramp blocking the passage between levels, but no one’s gotten their noses, feet or tails bitten off, so that’s good.

Just when I thought I was sleeping better, I wake up a million times throughout my sleep. I feel well-rested, though, and that’s what’s most important.

I had loads of fun breaking into Alyssa’s house, even though she lived with her parents. Yeah, I had some fun and interesting dreams last night. No one was home (of course) and I’m not sure how I got into the house or why. I just knew it was where they lived. I looked around the place curiously, but of course I didn’t take anything. The longer I spent snooping around, the more I feared someone might return, so I went to leave the place. Just as I was heading down the driveway, I realized I had forgotten something I wanted to see, whatever that was, so I reentered the house. It was a good thing too, because I’d left my jacket inside which I’d taken off so I could look around more comfortably. On my way out I twisted the knob on the door handle behind me, not wanting them to find an unlocked door or suspect anyone had gone roaming around their house. It then occurred to me that I should’ve worn gloves because I’d left my fingerprints on that knob as I turned it. I moved quickly down their driveway in hopes of two things… that someone else’s fingerprints would override mine, and that no one had witnessed me coming or going.

In another dream Andy and I were exchanging voice messages, then we were talking live.

Still have occasional earaches and throat irritation, but it’s been wonderful not being dizzy. I’ve had more energy, too. Not sure what the story is with my lungs at times, though. Most of the time they’re crystal clear, but sometimes I get tight and even a bit congested. Wonder if it’s due to the unusually cool weather we’re having once again. The last two days haven’t felt like July here.

I woke up after about 5 hours of sleep. I was tight then. I laid there for about an hour till I fell back asleep (haven’t taken lorazepam in days). Then I had a slight wheezing and coughed up whatever crap had gotten stuck in my lungs.

The spotting I had stopped and I’m hoping this is it. I won’t start really getting excited till I go more than two months without a real period. Then a year later I can have fun using leftover pads to wipe down the shower walls or something. :)

Took a walk this evening down to the lake. There was a full moon visible and the moonlight reflecting off the surface of the lake was absolutely beautiful. Beautiful homes to the left, ducks afloat to the right… sometimes I can’t believe I live here. It may be noisy, expensive and too cold most of the year, but it is gorgeous. Love some of the sounds the ducks make because they almost sound like they’re laughing.

I did something I never did before and I circled around the entire lake for variety in my route, but I’m not sure I would recommend it to Tom because he doesn’t have good balance. There were some muddy sections and if he slipped on the ice up in Oregon, he would probably slip on the mud. On top of that, I picked up some sand behind me as I walked and it lodged inside my sock and rubbed against me with my movements, irritating the skin in that area.

The babies are now taunting Cappy, LOL. There’s a little section of their floor, which is also his ceiling, that’s not solid and they can peer down/up at each other. We locked the ramp, preventing the babies from going downstairs and Cappy from going upstairs. Both sections are so big that there’s plenty of room for numerous rats on both first and second stories. Anyway, they’re taunting him by sticking their noses down through the wire, knowing that they’re safe and probably frustrating the hell out of Cappy, now unable to pick on them as close as they are.

Tom brought up a good point. He wonders if the babies were so timid due to being so confined. Pretty sure they were in 10-gallon aquariums, and now that they’re in a huge wire cage, they might’ve felt overly exposed in ways they weren’t used to.

We got wood shavings from Walmart but it’s too dusty. I’ve got the air cleaner on high now. If they bother my lungs, they might bother the rats’, so we will stick with paper because we hate pellets. The pellets are way too heavy. We change the cage every week so there’s no way it’s going to “shorten their lives” as the loonies tried to claim. Almost all our rats have lived between two and three years and that’s the norm.

I’m just glad the psycho who wants her “grandbabies” back because I’m “hurting” them by using paper bedding and stirring up her PTSD because of my honest and legal, though negative review, has stopped harassing me by phone, email and Facebook. I don’t think they’re reading my blog anymore either, and as much as I know I was/am innocent of any wrongdoing, I will admit that the two times I saw them on my visitor list was a bit creepy. So… closed chapter of my life.

Last night I dreamed I was on a cruise ship. I’m not sure where we left from, but we were on our way up the East Coast to see my parents in New England who were alive in the dream. They’re always alive in my dreams but at least it’s only my dreams. At one point in the dream, Tom was off doing whatever and I decided to go get a bite to eat. Only a few scattered people were around because it was between meals.

Suddenly realizing that I was in my pajamas and not feeling very comfortable about it, I doubled back to our stateroom. On the way, a few women were commenting on a large doll one of them made in some type of class they offered. One woman asked another if she had enough room in her suitcase to pack it in since the trip was almost over.

I went back to the room and decided to wait there until our name was called for dinner. When they finally called our name, Tom hadn’t returned.

Then I overheard some cops aboard the ship talking about Caroll Spinney, the guy who plays Big Bird. I stopped by to let one of them know that I personally knew him even though I hadn’t seen him in many years because my childhood friend was his adopted daughter, which is true and real life. I wonder if he still has his awesome house in Connecticut.

My babies are nocturnal so they’re pretty active now. They’ve grown noticeably since receiving them.

Went out walking the last couple of evenings. Weather’s gorgeous, too. What surprised me was the house where the kids live. An older guy and a girl of about 10 stopped me along the way to ask if I’d seen their dog. He said he usually goes out the doggy door and comes right back, though the kid said he usually goes to the neighbor.

A doggy door and a dog allowed to run to the neighbors in an adult community where dogs are supposed to be indoor pets only??? I still don’t get how they could have kids living there these last few years like they have either.

Had throat irritation yesterday, but it’s better today. I honestly don’t know what to make of it. Or my period for that matter. Hoping this is it and I’m at the end of the perimenopause phase, but can’t say for sure just yet. I’ve had spotting since the 14th, though, and I usually only spot for a day before it takes off full swing. Oh, the joys of being a woman.

Had a couple of funny and interesting dreams last night. In one I was in a hotel room with Mark and Tammy. It looked more like a suite actually, but anyway, I heard Mark enter and I ran through the place and into the kitchen where Tammy was. He placed a large pizza box on the table, which was to be our dinner, then he complained that it cost $85. He said that was ok, though, because it would feed us for days. LOL

Then I was with Nane. I looked in on her Facebook account last night so that probably triggered the dream. She still looks smoking hot, too. Her age only shows in her face.

In the dream, some guy was harassing us. He looked at her and said, “What are you… six-one, six-two?”

She remained quiet, though in real life she’s five-eight. I knew she wanted me to run, but I refused to leave her alone. Not sure what happened in the end, though.

Later…

Damn you, Cappy! We tried moving him in with the 3 rats we adopted as rats almost always get along with other rats. But sure enough, the bastard picked a fight with poor Burke, so he’s now carrying out his life sentence in solitary confinement just as he would prefer. So it wasn’t Hoodie, after all, to start the fights he’d have with this shit rat. I don’t know what this guy’s problem is or why he’s so vicious. We’ve never ever had a rat like this before. He hates to be handled. He hates humans. He hates other rats. The only thing he doesn’t hate is food. I’ve regretted getting him from day one, but Tom insists we keep him. Thank God rats don’t live as long as cats and dogs! He was born around December of 2014, so he’s still got another year left in him, but hopefully less.

But now Burke is a bit traumatized and who knows how long he’ll take to loosen back up. I was making such good progress with him, too. I feel like Cappy’s undone all I’ve accomplished with him, though Tom doesn’t think so. For now, Burke is still giving me a rat’s version of the silent treatment, and Cappy’s lucky I don’t beat his ass.

Tammy’s having surgery tomorrow. She said something about them cutting nerves in the middle of her spine. It gives me chills just thinking about it. Really hope this helps lessen her pain so she can toss aside the cane!

My ear is aching again, but I haven’t had any dizziness recently. It’s been wonderful. Maybe I’m almost done with the perimenopause. I hope so! Never got a real period this time around; just some spotting. I’m even sleeping better.

Got the phones set up, but still have to copy my MP3s over. It’s definitely easier to use than our other phones, which will be mailed in for $25 each once we’re sure these phones won’t have any issues.

My brainpower has definitely improved since we first got our last numbers because I memorized the new numbers fast.

Is the crazy war vet still peeking in on me and did she see last night’s posts? Don’t know and don’t care. How fucking dare they make the demands of me they made, though. And fuck their threats, too. Seriously, if they really are connected to law enforcement and can push this petty shit and make the same mountain out of a molehill the freeloaders did, I totally meant it when I said I won’t fall for it. Never again will I have someone “order” me to court as if I were a child, and all for speaking my mind. If I’m ever in a courtroom again, it will be to sue someone or to testify as a witness or something like that.

I had a dream that Tom appeared to be signing to Miss Perfect, though I knew it wasn’t really “signing.” Then he said we were going to file suit against Evelyn for $275.

In another dream, we moved into a condo in which my bedroom was attached to the dividing wall. I liked how quiet it was, but knew the peace wouldn’t last long because the adjoining place was empty and it was just a matter of time before it sold.

Then Tom was making these sexy female figures appear that were about 6” long using some high-tech computer program.

Lastly, I was meeting with Stacey when my mother of all people suddenly appeared, making me feel like I couldn’t talk with Stacey as openly as I’d like. Stacey seemed more distant too, just like I’m guessing she will be the next time I see her.

OMG, what a whack job! I just noticed this crazy message that came in at 2am last night in my “other” box on Facebook from Mommy Dearest. She must’ve lost Tom’s number because she hasn’t called him.

Some of what she’s saying is bullshit and some of it I don’t even understand. She’s not only highly delusional but such a shitty writer that a lot of what she says gives me a WTF? moment. All of it, however, is positively insane. I had no idea she was this crazy. It’s sad when people like this have kids. What a great example she’s setting for any kids/grandkids she may have.

I reported her message as harassing and insulting and blocked her.

Really hope these nut jobs back off real soon. I refuse to feed the trolls like I stupidly did with Kim and Molly. I’m not mentioning them in the blog at all. But will they come after us be it by themselves or through the law? Innocent of any wrongdoing or not, I know how twisted our laws can be, and people do tend to side with those with kids.

I don’t get the part about “you pop up on her face” or “in court you can invade my daughter's life of living with autism, and about why I’m a disabled vet.”

I don’t know why she’s a disabled vet and I don’t care. That has nothing to do with being promised calm rats that are really skittish. They’re getting better, but still have a ways to go.

The crazy signs were there from the start; I just didn’t see them. It’s probably not only been her and her alone that I’ve been talking to, but when we met in the parking lot, the first thing out of her mouth was being a disabled vet. Again, like we care? Like it matters?

Then she put one of the rats up to my ear and said to listen to his breathing cuz he was having problems. I heard nothing.

“Check their breathing every night,” she told me.

And what am I supposed to do if they make any funny sounds, give them a shot of my inhaler?

Again, this makes no sense because she claims to use bedding that can’t mess with their lungs. It’s the stuff we’re going to try to see if it’s worth it. We’ve just been anti-wood shavings due to the dust in them, but these Eco-Shavings are said to be triple-screened for dust.

When she mentioned what’s probably her fictitious sheriff friend seeing pics of her grandbabies and me insulting her grandbabies, I was like, WTF? Just WTF? What grandbabies? And then I realized she was referring to the rats as her grandbabies. Tom and I were ROTFL over that one!

She makes like I’ve sent dozens of messages to them when in fact it wasn’t even half a dozen exchanges after I told them how I felt about them, and that was days ago. They’re the ones still hanging onto me… calling, emailing, messaging, etc. Hope they keep it up, though. It doesn’t make them look very good. Meanwhile, I’m the one that’s had to block them on Facebook yet they want me to leave them alone?

“The sheriff is reviewing our stuff.” This contradicts what she said before. She can’t keep her story straight. They got all these orders they want, and then they’re looking to get them.

The “I hope your period gets better” is a little funny. But they’re starting to scare me. These nuts aren’t in CT or TX. They’re right here in town! Made a post about a friend having a stroke and thinking of flying out to see her. Hopefully, this will get them to back off, but that will depend on just how crazy they really are. Here’s Dee Dotson’s little rant:

Just to let you know, we took pictures of all the slander. Also looking at the cage due to you not using right litter that we asked you to buy, within 2 weeks your babies will start getting sick, and the felt, when they per on it, they chance getting merca, a respiratory illness that will shorten their lives. They are not potty trained yet. Due to the stress you caused my autistic daughter, and your post showed I told you and you don’t believe it, I am seeking a restraining order and a cease and desist. When you know someone has a disability, and you pop up on her face, And send slandering remarks to her about the one thing she loves, there’s a crime,crimes against the disabled. You also criticized my grandbabies. I’m also a veteran and you triggered my PTSD. So you may have changed your blog, but I had my daughter print them out right away. Sadly,your rat’s will be sick because you chose not to listen. I feel sorry about your neighbors you blog about, and I hope your period gets better. Yes, I read all you sent to my child. The sheriff is reviewing our stuff, and in court you can invade my daughters life of living with autism, and about why I’m a disabled vet. I feel sorry for you. Don’t point fingers till you look at yourself. I’m asking you to leave us alone. Im printing this for the sheriff, and I will keep calling for Tom to get back the rate that you lied about. Our sheriff friend also knows these rats, and saw pictures of my grandbabies They were scared from the move. Let Tom know I need to reach him, and I would like him to see the 14ths morning post before you changed it. We copied it all. We love our rats,as do my grandbabies. We will take them back and you can go to a pet store.

Later…

Written for the nutjob:

Oh, crazy war vet, you are a persistent little one, aren’t you? Yeah, it’s playing peekaboo on me now. Yeah, peekaboo… I see you… including your exact location. But since you’re just full of silly threats and senseless words as of yet and haven’t hunted us down to beat us up or anything, I’ll refrain from sending an officer to your door to talk to you about how being in business may not be right for you. You see, all businesses are bound to get negative reviews at times. It just goes with the territory. But if you can’t handle honest and legal reviews, then perhaps a career change is in order? Just something to think about. :) People aren’t “lying” to you. They’re giving you their honest opinion about doing business with you.

Also, do be informed that I’ve been blogging regularly since 2008 and always keep on blogger’s rights/laws. In no way shape or form have I broken any laws. If I had I’d already have been arrested or summoned. This country is very word-sensitive and takes written material quite seriously. I never use last names. Ever. But first names are legal and so are businesses that are a matter of public information. Comprendeme? So subpoena away, Mommy Dearest, but do know you’ll never get that day in court you so desire. Nor will you get these adorable, lovable rats back who are adjusting nicely, are potty trained, and are learning a host of other things as well.

As for whomever it was that said the autism was no one’s business… then why’d you tell us in the parking lot?

Ok, you have read the last you’re ever going to read about yourselves so long as you don’t ever come to our door or harm us. I have given you the benefit of removing your daughter’s first name and the abbreviated business name, even though I don’t owe you that much and it wasn’t illegal.

Now, here’s what you can and cannot do in the future. You can read my blog all you want and print away to your little heart’s desire. But you cannot and will not ever again contact my husband or me by any means possible. There will be no phone calls. There will be no email. There will be no comments or messages on any other website, including this one. No contact means NO CONTACT. We want absolutely nothing to do with you and you have been a closed chapter in our lives and will stay that way. Now stop playing victim and move on!

Happy 70th birthday to Linda Ronstadt. I wonder how much her Parkinson’s is affecting her these days.

Woke up to the tune of landscaping but no more than a missed call from New York after yesterday’s crazy calls from Leslie’s mother. No more online threats or harassment either.

OMG, if you can’t handle a bad review here and there, which any business would get from time to time, then why the hell bother to go into business in the first place? I’m so fucking sick of those that can’t handle the truth if it’s not what they want to hear!

I filled out a form that was on their Facebook page, and because the review was partly negative and they didn’t like what I had to say about my experience with them in my blog, they started threatening me with court, slander, and getting a cease and desist order to take back the rats because I’m “hurting” them. In the 2-question survey, I said “yes” to the rats being healthy and “no” to them being as sociable as expected.

Anyway, the mother is absolutely crazy. She left two LONG messages rambling on and on about the same things over and over again, one in which she spoke longer than the time allotted. She said to have Tom call her back and give the rats back to her because she didn’t wish to meet with me and she was sure he had “no problem” with them. Oh, and she was at the piggy station.

She claimed I was ruining their business, they’ve got years of great reviews, etc. Well, if that’s the case and I’m the only bad review, then how can ONE bad review “ruin” their business?

I also got an email from Leslie who said not to bother replying, as I’m to go through her mother from now on.

Both of them demanded our address and threatened to have the cops get it if I didn’t provide it, but of course neither of us called them back or replied to their bullshit email. As I learned 16 years ago, if you don’t succumb to threats (and possible court calls), then they can’t burn you. So unless the pigs kick our door down over a review and ultimately end up making us very rich because of it, I’m not going to play legal games with these overly sensitive emotional wimps who can’t handle a negative review.

In the one view that I can see that they made of my blog yesterday afternoon, my tracker pointed out their exact location. Good to know in case I need to do to them what I should’ve done to a few people in Arizona, though confronting them face-to-face is the last thing I want. That’d only be as a last resort if I were backed into a corner or something. But unless she was just bluffing about going to the pigs, the pigs actually did the right thing by informing her that I broke absolutely no laws and they weren’t going to waste time taking back a few rats over a bad review. Besides, Google and Facebook can back up the fact that I didn’t do anything illegal.

She went on and on about how I was stirring up her PTSD and that she would have to be medicated along with Leslie… how dare I say anything about an autistic child… she’s got papers from Kaiser to prove she’s autistic… it’s a crime to state an autistic child’s name, state and business, etc. Lastly, don’t get scared but someone will be by to serve me for slander.

Number 1, Slander is spoken defamation of character. When it’s in written form it is called libel.

Number 2, I only use the rattery’s initials, though there’s no law that says I couldn’t have just spelled it out as I simply gave my opinion on them and didn’t threaten to blow them up. There are many blogs for just that purpose; to review businesses.

Number 3, I never mentioned the state in conjunction with anything I said in my review.

Number 4, I only used Leslie’s first name while THEY have Leslie’s name and state right on their site.

Number 5, If Leslie is a minor (though I was under the impression she was a young adult) then the business can’t be hers. She’s got a hyphen between two last names. Wouldn’t that make her married?

Number 6, If what I said was illegal, then every negative review on sites like Yelp would be also.

Number 7, My review/blog does not “endanger” them in any way as Leslie claimed in her email, and I didn’t “do a lot of assuming” about them. I only wrote what I experienced firsthand.

Number 8, What do Leslie being autistic and the mother (I don’t even know her first name), have to do with my review? That’s irrelevant and has absolutely nothing to do with anything I’ve said. My review was about the rats I bought from them. Not their personal lives. I have nothing against autism or any other disability and hate it when people abuse or insult the disabled. I also hate when people use their abilities as a crutch or an excuse. Just like I hate it when blacks use the race card in their favor when race was never the issue, these people are obviously using Leslie’s autism and Mommy Dearest’s war vet status as a weapon against my honest and very legal review.

Leslie signed off with, please take it down (what I said in my blog), give us the rats back, and let’s forget we ever met so you can continue blogging about your hatred of things on Facebook. She also threatens to get their lawyer involved if it’s not down by the end of the day.

LOL, I don’t blog on Facebook, though I do sometimes enclose stuff in notes for Tammy. She’s the only one I’ll share this entry with. Don’t want to give them any negative attention they may crave. You know, as in “Don’t Feed the Trolls?” If there’s any more harassment on their part, then yes, this may go public. They’re never going to get these rats back, but I did at least give them the satisfaction of deleting past blogs, even though I don’t owe them shit. Again, it’s not illegal. It’s just not what they want to hear. But I deleted them if only to stop the fucking emails and phone calls. They don’t have more than a few days to call us, though. As I said, we’re getting new numbers with the new phones so we can have the proper area code.

I’m surprised they only viewed my blog once. I’m guessing they disabled cookies? Other than that one local view, no one in my state has been in that I know of.

Meanwhile, if you feel you have to medicate yourself because someone gave your business a negative but legal and honest review, that’s not my problem. So serve, serve and serve away because I’m not going to court. I wouldn’t answer to some bully on the streets who demanded I do this or go there, and these people are no exception. I doubt I’ll hear from them again, but let’s hope not for their sake.

I could kick myself for letting their fucking phone calls get me anxious enough to call Tom. After what happened in Arizona, well, it’s to be expected just like medication will always make me anxious. But yeah, my heart raced and my hands shook much in the way the medication made me do. But this was different. It’s just a lot less scary when an external force is causing it, but once I calmed down enough to realize I had absolutely nothing to fear from these assholes, I was fine.

Still have traces of throat irritation and I just don’t know what to make of it at this point. Did the statins cause permanent damage to my throat, or was the doctor not kidding when she said she thought it was anxiety?

I also had that strange sensation in the left side of my neck just now while sitting here reading what I wrote. It’s like a pulsing or “moving” sensation. It was like what I woke up with a week or so ago. I don’t usually get that sitting upright while in a calm mood, but Tom’s probably right about it just being my ear draining.

Chatted with Lori on Facebook for the first time in a while. I’ve got her crazy cousin blocked, though. I deleted Lori for a while because she can be a bit of a pest at times, but if loneliness is her worst crime, so be it. She can pester me every now and then.

In last night’s dreams, I was in some airport wandering around by myself and trying to figure out where the gate was that I was supposed to board. It seemed no one would help me and that I did a lot of walking. I told myself I would at least have a long flight in which to get off my feet, just as soon as I could figure out what gate to go to. I passed Christine along the way but wasn’t sure she recognized me.

Then I was in a room with 3 lights. I could only get one of them to work. Then two other women were in the room and one tried to convince the other to have the carpet cleaned. I said, “That would be better than having the other lights fixed because I play on the floor with my rats all the time.”