“We plan, Fate laughs,” someone wrote.

So true! This is why I wanna shake those that say we have free will. You can tell yourself that if that’s what you want to believe and if it makes you feel better, but for the most part, that’s just not true. I have free will in choosing pink lipstick over red. Big deal.

Until Fate laughs at us yet again, our next plan of action is to contact a realtor next week and see what they say. When she tells us what we don’t want to hear, then we consider hiring someone to redo the kitchen and bathroom floors. If that’s still not enough to help us get a decent offer, then we’ll do a complete top to bottom remodel of this place.

My new glasses fit well although the computer and reading glasses are a bit strong, especially the computer ones. I had to pull my monitor closer to me. The reading ones are a little snug but I’m only using those for drilling which I do in bursts.

It’s now been 7 weeks since I skipped my med. While that in itself is great, it’s still a little unnerving to know how low my TSH is getting. I still hold out the hope that the med was never responsible for the “stabbings” but only the booming heart when I first went on it, and the panic attacks.

I’m also trying not to worry about the new brand and just hope to hell the brand changes were really just a coincidence. I’m going to ease my way into it by alternating between what’s left of the old brand until it runs out.

Right now I’m neither anxious nor calm. I have a feeling that if I had a candy bar, though, that would push me over into the realm of anxiety. It does seem that things like hot flashes and anxiety have triggers that can induce them. Well, I don’t wanna pull the tiger’s tail!

The LMC network has been frustrating me lately because I’m all caught up on everything. They’re not adding new stuff as fast as I thought they did. They have these sections, Recently Added, Shiny & New, and Added This Week, but the thing is that the movies that show up there are rarely anything but “shiny and new.” Instead, they’re movies that have been there before which I’ve already seen.

So I’ve been watching Three Days to Live on Peacock. One of the problems with services like that is that they have stuff I’ve already seen, was never interested in, or that’s foreign.

Not much in the way of dreams. Just some vague dream about him calling Florida for jobs because his landlord ordered him to which I knew was Jesse, and then being skeptical about him having a hard time finding a job in Cali.

Then there was something about being seated in a fancy restaurant.

Another possibility hit me. Maybe Aly really is with a guy (I still say any woman can get one) but she’s describing him differently than he actually is. Maybe that’s what the secrecy is about. Maybe he’s a 300-pound ugly guy mopping floors in a school or something and she doesn’t want me to know this or see a pic of him.

Maybe she feels she’s with a guy she likes but still feels like she’s settling and like she’ll never get what she really wants, so she makes up this other guy that she thinks sounds better. Like a woman who has sex with her boyfriend or husband while she imagines someone else.

There’s a difference between private and secretive and for her to never show me a picture of the guy while I’m supposed to be considered one of her best friends doesn’t make sense unless she’s hiding something. So yeah, I’m a little suspicious as well as a little hurt.

Soon I’m going to make my complex but gourmet meal. I’m going to bake the fish, fry the mushrooms and onions, steam the broccoli, and zap the rice.