When I look at the comments on some of the IVF articles it amazes me how more and more people are anti-abortion and just how conservative this country is getting.

When I asked myself who I would vote for if I was going to vote, not that I’m going to vote for real of course, saying I would vote for Trump may be stretching it a bit but the little bastard may actually be better than Biden for a few reasons. First, the attack on gays and women is going to continue no matter who gets elected. That’s just something that’s going to get worse and worse probably for decades before it gradually gets better if it does. I think it will fluctuate over the decades and even centuries where sometimes women will have more rights and other times they won’t.

But Biden got absolutely nothing done but invited tens of thousands of people into the country to hog our resources and give billions of dollars to other countries. Yes, Trump is a misogynist who’s probably a closet case who can’t deal with his feelings and will take his frustration out on gays and women any chance he gets. And yes, it was horrible that he appointed bigoted justices and all that but what’s done is done and like I said, things are only going to get worse before they get better.

So maybe it would actually be better to have a president who’s going to staunch the flow of migrants from taking jobs away from Americans and calling for longer waiting times getting into doctors and adding to the overcrowding. And maybe he won’t be as quick to give as much of our money away. Just something to think about unless he plans to target older people next. The guy’s amount of popularity and supporters really stuns me. He is definitely the most talked about and the most popular president we ever had next to Obama.

I try to remind myself that if the masses believe, think, or do something, it’s usually for a reason yet I’m still not seeing the “human” in embryos or fetuses. I see the potential human but it’s kind of like a seed versus a tree. Well, a seed isn’t a tree. I also don’t see the sin in two consenting adults in love just because they may have the same body parts. Sometimes I wish I could see it their way because it’s the norm and following norms is always easier but I just can’t and I don’t.

In the latest episode of my show, they talked about how some scientists believe they have proof that some of the disasters mentioned in the Bible actually happened because the people living there pissed God off. Well, I still say there likely is no God and that the Bible is simply stories, but if they’re right, then we have a very evil, spiteful God who doesn’t love everybody unconditionally as many people claim. Besides, if that was the case, why isn’t he wiping us all out right now with the way things are so fucked up in the world?

I keep going back and forth in my mind as to whether or not my TSH is getting too low for comfort. My dry skin and hair and the way I feel cold say it’s not but I also could be cold from not eating much. Tom thanks my weight is down because I haven’t eaten much but with the way I’ve been feeling tonight, I think it’s down because my TSH is dropping. I tell you, I know my body and I don’t lose weight no matter how sick I get. In my twenties and even my thirties I may have but certainly not now. I know the drill and what to do about it if it is, though, and that’s to simply cut my waiting time a bit before food and drink and that will back it off. If I ignore it, the anxiety and the blah moods will intensify.

I still wish I was more connected at times. Being on nights half of my life doesn’t help but even if I was always on days I still wouldn’t have the friends and family I sometimes wish I had. Sometimes I wish I was surrounded by parents, siblings, cousins, and close friends who were totally supportive, accepting, non-judgmental, and not the least bit toxic in any way. But then I remind myself that things could be much worse like if I was alone with absolutely no one. I really believe that if I hadn’t met Tom I wouldn’t be alive. I also try to keep in mind that more people means more trouble. There are too many bad people out there. Too many backstabbing, lying phony people who just want to use you, judge you and try to change and control you.

I’ll still be doing a little socializing because I’m now signed up for the painting class on the 21st. I’m also going to get a pedicure sometime while Tom checks out a nearby store he wants to check out, so we do have some fun things to look forward to other than doctor’s appointments and labs.

We got bombs ready now that creepy crawlies are waking up, so we’ll be out for at least a couple of hours that day.

I want to go down to the beach but I don’t want to have to race against time to find the nearest charger that isn’t broken, in use, or taking a year to give us enough of a charge to get to our next destination.

In today’s junk mail came a postcard for looking up information to donate blood. I guess they do this all over town. They give you a T-shirt and a $20 gift certificate.

For just a buck I got frosty light pink lipstick with our last Walmart order and it looks nice. It’s noticeable but doesn’t stand out a mile away.