Today I graduate. Thank fucking God!

I’m wicked tired today. I only slept a little over an hour last night as I spent the night with Al. We had an ok night. He finally managed to penetrate me. Not all the way, but I’m making progress. This is what my asshole mother considers dirty and me having no self-respect. She can go fuck herself. Hey, I wish I could make it alone forever with nobody but it’s a human need to want someone. Not every day and night of the week would I want someone, and I’d prefer a woman, but it’s nice once in a while.

Al angers me sometimes, though, with his negativity. I know he’s waiting till he finds someone better which he feels is “normal.” Males are so hard to talk to and they don’t understand or care. He never tells me how he feels and he never compliments me or tells me I’m attractive. But he’s not attractive either. He expects too much of me in some ways. He really wishes I didn’t have the past I have, but I can’t help it. My past is not my fault, nor can it be changed.

All this is why I prefer a woman, but there’s no such thing as a relationship with the kind of woman I dream of. Even so, I’ll be damned if I’ll settle for second best all my life.

Later...

I guess today is just going to drag on and on just like all the other days I’m here. I’m so bored.

Tomorrow I need to get that damn health certificate filled out and a $25 money order. When the state board exam is, I have no idea. I don’t even know whom I’m taking with me or how I’ll get there. Nervous is out of the question. I’m so sick of him.