Today I finished my volunteer work at Channel 57, stuffing and addressing envelopes. She thought I did such a magnificent job that she took my name and number in case she needs me for anything else.

I’ve tried to get Nervous to call me by leaving messages with his mother, but he won’t call me. To tell you the truth, I miss him and I feel so guilty cuz in a lot of ways I was just as bad as he was. He was crazy at times and a real asshole, but I really used the hell out of him and that’s probably why he won’t call me. I miss the good times and our good talks, although there were also bad times that were not my fault. Maybe I’ll mail him a letter.

Later...

I did write Nervous a letter and will wait to see if he calls me.

Andy was supposed to call me over an hour ago but hasn’t yet, and I’m sure Emily’s not home.

If not tonight, cuz I’m just so exhausted, then definitely tomorrow night I’m gonna hit the Spanish books cuz I was doing so well with that.

Friday I see my new shrink who I’ll have to tell that the Pamelor doesn’t work and it made me dizzier than all hell whenever I stood up and that the Navane’s the only thing that’ll work. But how can I keep taking it with the tardive dyskinesia problem (involuntary muscle twitches, mainly in the face and neck)?

Debbie, the asshole that admitted to me she was in therapy only for the money did terminate me and my new therapist called and scheduled an appointment with me. Her name is Mary Lou.

I definitely should’ve kept the original appointment for January in court cuz I could’ve been moved by then and I would’ve skipped it. Males are such bullies. I mean, to arrest someone for a stupid phone call? See, I prank-called my old phone number and it turns out a cop has the number now. So I had to pay $15 to bail out a few hours later after sitting in a cell, alone, thank God. Oh, and after the cop threatened me. He said I threatened his mother in one of the calls and that I was lucky he didn’t know where I lived at the time. So it’s ok for him to threaten me, but it’s not ok for me to threaten anyone.

Coincidentally enough, I’ve been getting sexually harassing phone calls, and I know it’s either him or someone he knows. They think they’re so smart and so tough, them cops. And invincible.

But also, I’ve been getting calls for longer where they just hang up or stay on the phone for a few minutes. Could it be Nervous? I doubt he’d ever admit to it if it is. It doesn’t bother me, though.

Last night Andy came over and brought his picture collection of Charlie’s Angels. I was like - wow! He even had my favorite picture of all 3 in white shirts with a red background sitting at a table with a vase of red roses! I remembered every single picture and in such detail. He’ll only let me keep them for a week or two. Says he can’t get rid of them or give them to me.