Woke up at 109 pounds.

Tom didn’t get picked for jury duty, fortunately.

Got my CDs yesterday. All but one came, cuz Pure Dance 1998 was out of stock. Linda’s new album, just like the last one, has not even one good song on it. I will never buy another album of hers again! I’m finished with her. She just cannot come up with hits like she used to. I’ll keep the album anyway. There were four CDs I didn’t like and if Tom doesn’t want them, I’ll have him bring them to Mary’s house so that anyone who wants them can help themselves. Or maybe Andy will want a couple of them. One’s a Marvin Gaye album, one’s the Grease soundtrack (which I thought had other songs on it that I’d like that I don’t have on other CDs), and the others are oldies. The shittiest of the oldies. The ones I like are these two Fleetwood Mac albums. One is of them performing live, the other’s other artists doing some of their hits. Got one of Heart, Hall & Oats, Janet Jackson, Styx, The Mamas and the Papas, and a couple of disco albums.

We didn’t have sex during the weekend. I guess what Tom’s doing is understanding that the sex got a little old, and therefore, he’s giving me a break from it, although we haven’t literally gone “back to the basics,” so to speak. He’s taken this really well, though, as no other man would, and for this I’m really grateful. He’s one of a kind! I don’t know when we’ll return to sex. I guess I’ll leave that up to him. I know that sex, when we do return to it, will be predictable, but hopefully, the urge to get off with him and not just with the vibrators will have returned, but I’m afraid deep down that this is where I’ll stay. Only time will tell, though.

My little night prowler stayed home last night, and it looks like he will tonight, too.

Later...

I’m a little tired this evening. That’s because I only slept for six hours. Seeing that I’m just a hobbyist and a homemaker, I can certainly live with it. Especially since it doesn’t have to be for four months that I’m deprived of my sleep.

At this point, I believe there’s either a 50/50 chance one of us has something wrong in the plumbing department or a 50/50 chance nothing’s wrong at all. It’s either one or the other. I’m not totally sure something’s wrong, I’m not totally sure nothing’s wrong. Whichever it is, it’s God’s will and they both mean the same thing, whether I ever want a child again or not - a child will never be. It’s not destined.

Tom guesses that by the year 2000, I’ll have a total of 12 dolls (not counting Barbies). That sounds reasonable. He guesses that by the year 2001, I’ll have 75 dolls between those I buy and those I make. That many?! I’d say more like 15-20 by then, but we’ll see.

His ma gave us $100 each to gamble with, which we’re gonna do probably tomorrow morning. This was very nice of her. I’m gonna try to get a doll either way. Meaning, I’m gonna try to only gamble $30-$40 so I can watch the next doll show and see if I can get one I like, but as far as Glenora goes, I think I can pretty much write her off as a lost cause. I don’t think we could find her if there are any more of her left.

Tom took Ma for her appointment today. Now they’re worried about her heart, I guess, so they did a test on her and are gonna do more tests to find out if a valve is leaking or what. She said she won’t have a triple bypass done if she needs one. I don’t blame her, although those aren’t such a big deal anymore. But still, why put yourself through it if you don’t even have two more years to live?

Last Friday I left Andy a message after he told me he was gonna start that job with the bank Monday, to leave me a message Monday after work to let me know how it went. As figured, though, there was no message. Like I was surprised? Right! He probably never even showed up for work. Anyway, not only did I not get a message from him over the weekend, I didn’t get a message in response to my asking him if he wanted the CDs I don’t like. Is something wrong? I don’t sense it, so to speak, and I hope not. Maybe he did go to work and is just too busy to discuss it.

Later...

I’m reading my last book now and will need to go to the bookstore this week. I’m reading The Guardian which was based on the movie that Norah was in where she looked her best in 1990. At first I wasn’t gonna get too many books based on movies I’d seen, because then I’d really know what the book was all about. Books are pretty predictable as it is. However, the book versions are slightly different than the movie version. There are some twists and turns. So, since I’m getting tired of getting ten books only to end up liking half of them, I may as well get books that I know I’ll like.

Tom told me all about his day in court. He said he was sitting in for jury selection on two different trials. The first one was a guy charged with aggravated DUI. The judge would begin by asking a series of questions. The first was “Do any of you know me or my family?” I joked to Tom that he should’ve answered, “Yeah, I know you! You were my daddy in a former life!” There were questions asked like “Does anyone here not drink?” (because the case was about drinking). So Tom said he didn’t drink, then he was asked why he didn’t drink. He said it was because he didn’t like the taste of alcohol or its effect on the body. That disqualified him immediately.

They were asked if any of them were related to anyone in law enforcement, and Tom jokingly thought about saying that his wife works for the FBI, since I’m always spying on the freeloaders and investigating this and that, in a sense.

He said he was surprised at how many professionals were there. There were several doctors and lawyers and other so-called hotshots. He thought there’d be more lower-class people. There was a cop too, as a potential juror who was asked if he’d automatically side with the officers testifying in a case. He said yes and the judge said: “Leave.” Typical, typical pig too, to side with a fellow officer no matter what.

He said the second trial was one black that beat up another black. Tom said he feared he’d get picked for this trial cuz he couldn’t answer yes to any of the questions asked. One of the questions asked, naturally, was “Is anyone prejudiced?” I was kind of surprised no one answered yes. I mean, this may not be 50 years ago, but still, there still are and always will be, people who hate blacks. Or “African Americans.” Or “people of color.” They keep rewording their so-called description. They were “colored” in the 70s.

Speaking of blacks that I consider assholes, after President’s Day, which will be on Andy’s birthday on the 15th, there’ll be a whole six weeks before the next holiday - Easter! Can you believe it? A whole six weeks. Wow! Will they act up and make complete assholes of themselves like they did last Easter? If they know what’s good for them, they won’t, cuz last Easter, they were despicable! They blasted in and out, they had ten kids playing ball for what was it? Three hours? It couldn’t have been more obvious that it was aimed at me.