Another ice-cold shower at Estrella jail. I could barely stand getting my hands wet, let alone my whole body! A lot of us grieved, but I know it’ll only bring results for 4 days, then they’ll be right back to fuck with the temperature controls. I’m sick of fighting for hot showers! I’m going to have to resort to some other form of action in order to get hot showers for more than 4 days, but I don’t know what I’m going to do yet. For now, I’m bathing myself with wet, soapy pads in the cell, and washing my hair in the sink. At least we get heat here. I love not having to wear my thermal all the time.

Bryant, who’s black and actually not that bad-looking, was on 3rd shift last night. I think I’ve seen her once or twice when I was last over here, but I’m not sure.

Anyway, Mary and I were releasing our built-up energy, laughing and running around the cell. When Bryant came through from the juvi pod, Mary was right at the window looking goofy, just staring out dumbly, and I was twirling around and doing my demonic laugh real loud behind her. When Bryant approached the door, she asked Mary to step back so she could see into the darkened room with her flashlight. There are two strips of windows, so why she couldn’t see in the other one is beyond me. Anyway, I said hi to her a couple of times and got no answer. When I asked if she was new, she said in a snobby voice, “No, I am not.” Then she started to walk away and I began imitating her no I am not over and over again till she doubled back and asked Mary what was wrong with her partner.

“Who?” Mary goes.

Then frustrated, Bryant tells me I need to hush.

The story of my life – others being the ones to tell me what I need. Nonetheless, I said OK, but Mary and I made sure to be really goofy on her next couple of walks, rocking and shaking our heads to our music like punk rockers.

I’m tired today, thanks to being woken up a zillion times. First it was breakfast, then the nurse rudely woke us up to ask if we had any medical requests (she should know that if we did, we’d have medical tanks in the door), then it was our hour out, then others on their hour out woke me with their loud-mouths. I’m beginning to wonder if something’s not preparing me for something on the outs by showing me I can survive sleeping for a few hours at a time, as long as I don’t smoke. If I’m right, I don’t want to know. It could only be for something bad.

It’s commissary night, so I have that to look forward to, and even more so to Tom’s visit tomorrow. He’s been very patient and tolerant of my jail stories, even the Palma ones. As much as I wish I had stories to tell of going home where I belong, Palma stories are better than me crying all the time during our visits. At least I have something going for me here. Meaning, I really look forward to when Palma’s on.

Vasquez is on now and she’s cool. Who’s coming in for 2nd shift, I wonder? Well, it won’t be Palma.

From the looks of it, they filled the bed downstairs, but I don’t know with whom. There’s still a vacancy next door.

Mary continues to be a great celly. Most of the time I don’t even know she exists. She writes, eats and lives upstairs on her bed and doesn’t come down too often other than to clown around with me late at night.

Got a letter from Paula asking questions I’ve already answered a zillion times. Still, I’ve gotten more letters from her in the time I’ve been in jail, than in the whole time I was in Phoenix.

She says she’s having intestinal problems, it’s cold, her hair’s longer, and she’s trying to lose 20 pounds for summer.

She asked why I’m losing weight, do I have probation when I get out, and when do I get out. She should know this shit if she’s been reading my letters! I hate people who just don’t listen!

She asked for a picture of me. Like I could send her one now?

Got my commissary, and of course they fucked up. Instead of pink lipstick, I got mascara. But I got it at lipstick price, so I saved a buck. It’s OK, though, because I’ll eventually need more mascara.

I got cookies, nuts, dried fruit, and only one candy bar. No hard candy. I also got a sausage log I knew I shouldn’t have bothered getting. It wasn’t all that good. The caramel popcorn was just so-so. Not worth getting again. I got more hair protein, powder and lotion. We both have our powder bottles on the floor by the toilet, but we can tell whose is whose. Hers has a green cap and mine’s got a white one. Besides, hers is only half full.

Mary and I both put our hair in pigtails earlier.

The showers were ice cold and I was pissed to have gotten up so early for nothing (8 AM is like 4 AM for me). But the grievances did get answered because we later had hot water in the sink to wash our hair with. Come next week, though, it’ll be cold again.

I miss Palma already (not like I miss Tom). Just hearing her voice is nice. It sounds so much like Gloria’s and I really like it.

Hudgens was on 2nd shift. She’s cool. She kids around with us a lot.

Tate’s on now. I like her because she doesn’t get carried away shining flashlights in on us and doesn’t really even bother to look in on us at all, so I have rocking privacy.

I forgot to say that after my last visit, I finally saw a good-looking inmate. Mary’s good-looking compared to your average inmate, but I mean this girl was really good-looking. She had a friendly-looking, pretty face with beautiful long straight black hair. I’m not sure if she was Indian or oriental. Most of these inmates are skanky looking, with faces not even a mother could love, bad teeth, dead hair, and tattoos galore.