Tom says I may need a new battery and that that’s why my timer’s off. Today it told me it was yesterday.

I’m a little stressed out now, thanks to the freeloaders, but that’s only because I have to report today. I try not to let this shit intimidate me or nerve me up, but you just never know what to expect. I could end up not coming back home today for God knows what dumb-ass reason. I don’t have a bad vibe, though.

I keep telling myself, but you didn’t do anything! But that doesn’t matter, as I’ve learned. For a minute there I thought I should pack the dolls, or whatever, before each report day, but that’d be silly. Only because if worse came to worse and he did throw me in jail, I wouldn’t be there for 6 months. I wouldn’t even be there for 6 days. I’d be bonded out and then they’d never see me again.

I just hope Tom’s right when he says he thinks I won’t ever have to pee in front of anyone as long as I stick to reporting here in town.

I’m going to try, once again, to stay on a day schedule cuz they’ve been booming every fucking day. Every single fucking day. It used to be that they’d do it 2-3 times a week, but this time around, it’s been a daily occurrence, though only one set per day. In the past, I’d hear a series of booms a few times a day on the days they’d fly. Now, I only hear a couple of booms once a day, but it only takes a second to wake up a light sleeper like myself. They seem to boom by between 10 AM and 4 PM.

I can’t seem to get a hold of Paula during the daytime. Makes me wonder if she either got a job or is doing all that community service, though, for some reason, I thought she was done with all that. I’ll have to ask her about it when we talk.

Later…

I’m home! And I’m free! Yes, it’s always a relief after I’ve seen Scot without any problems. I’m always so stressed out right before I see him cuz I just never know if I’ll be coming home. I just can never know what surprises may be pulled on me, despite my vibes and innocence. Knowing I’ll have to go through this shit 40-something more times isn’t very comforting, either, on top of the everyday paranoia over what pigs/freeloaders may come to the house.

Once again, if the freeloaders are going to cower behind the law and use the law to get at me, they’ll probably wait till right before the probation ends. If they’re going to go after the house, since they wouldn’t have the balls to face us, they’ll probably do it right after the probation ends.

This old lady, who may even be older than Ida, and who I thought would never shut up, was in front of us. During their discussion, I learned that Scot’s got about 75 clients, and I was like damn! That’s a lot. I thought he’d have around 25-30. That’s good, though. It could prevent him from picking on me if he decides he doesn’t like me since he’s obviously pressed for time. This may be why he hasn’t been out here in so long. Maybe he would be bugging me here twice a month if he had only 25 clients. I think he’ll be here before the month is out, though.

Surprisingly, he didn’t test me. Next time he will, though.

Tom got me to see something like never before. I mean, I just didn’t realize it in the past. Especially since I’m not from here. I still believe, and I always will, that this was a case of a non-white against a white in a day and age where the courts cater to non-whites, and that due to my being white and female, is part of why I went down (I’d still like to believe Teddy Bear’s a part of why all this shit was meant to be, too). But it was mostly a Jewish/Muslim thing. Arizona’s very anti-Jewish, as Tom explained to me. Muslims are just as fucked as Middle Eastern terrorists. In fact, a lot of the terrorists involved in the September bombings were trained here in Arizona because there’s such a huge Muslim influence within law enforcement out here that allows other Muslims to do illegal things and get away with it. So, whether or not the pig was Muslim, he had to have known through interacting with the freeloaders that they were, and he had to have known I was Jewish, but it’s so asinine cuz I’m not. I’m not Jewish, I’m not Catholic, I’m not protestant - I’m not religious. Period. I’m just me.

Andy actually had the balls to try to convince me that Jews were blessed by God, and I was like - yeah, right! Is that why he had so many millions of them killed? Is that why the bulk of my life’s been so shitty? Yeah, Andy, I’m really blessed! Truthfully, I am blessed. It’s just that for every one blessing I have, I have about a thousand curses.

Tom feels it’s wrong to hate any particular group of people and that people are individuals, but I disagree with that. It depends on the group. How many gays or Indians rip off our welfare system and fuck people over the way freeloaders do? I’m sorry, but the balance between good and bad when it comes to certain minorities is like night and day. Most whites are no good too, but the ratio isn’t nearly as extreme as it is with some others.

I never would’ve ended up in jail, Tom says, if I wasn’t Jewish. Yeah, probably not, nor would I if the pig and black bitch hadn’t been friends, but I still Arizona is a ridiculously strict state. I was in the system long enough to see that, and I still think they’re particularly hard on white females.

I still think I should’ve handled it my way from the get-go and that I should’ve kicked her ass. I’d have gotten less time. Supposedly, the reason this state goes harder on the lesser crimes, whether you did it or not, is to deter you from graduating to committing bigger crimes.

Anyway, I’m going to make a little addition to my jailhouse journal intro.