I really don’t like having the anticipation of Scot stopping by slapped back on me. I don’t know what’s worse – actually being woken up by him or going to bed when I’m on nights with the stress of the fact that the possibility is there. Nonetheless, I’m still so psyched that I only have to go to him 6 more times! This is the first time in two years with just one appointment a month! I’m afraid God will compensate Miss Queen of Appointments here and give me others. As it is, we really do need to find me a decent specialist to clean this ear out. They can do it in one swipe, but we can’t. We don’t have the proper tools and knowledge.

I knew ever since I got out of jail that the fences wouldn’t be allowed by fate to be up till we got down to within the last 6 months. The more I came to believe that last August was his last visit, the more I began to wonder why, but now I know. It’s because God’s not done bringing the black’s shit to the home front. Even so, I’ve resigned myself to 3 things. One is that I will not open the door if he comes knocking when I’m asleep. Two is that I’m going to make the next home visit where I’m awake the last one. After that, I will no longer answer the door to Scot B awake or not simply because it’s not necessary. I am not a criminal! Third is that I’m considering myself to have just 5½ months to go of this shit. In my mind, I’m done doing business with Scot on October 2nd, my final report date. I take that back, we’re not finished with each other that day in my mind, but in reality! That means I will not be accepting any house calls, phone calls, etc., pertaining to these welfare bums once we reach that date.

Never again will I allow myself to be taken for the ride of my life like I was. I won’t even allow myself to be screwed over even just a fraction of the degree that I was.

Yesterday was the first time the cat let me pat him. It is a male, though he’s not as fat as he looks. I still think he’s a stray like 90% of the animals are in this town. Tom said he’s seen dog catchers out and about. I’m sure they’ve got their work cut out for them big time! In Phoenix, however, they have super strict laws about loose dogs. They have super strict laws about everything!

I siphoned the fish tank yesterday and it’s almost as filthy as the big tank was when I cleaned it out and moved everybody. I’m thinking that most of the fine brown particles aren’t all shit and food, but rather coming from the clumps of dirt the live plants live in. I put them in with the bettas since I change every drop of their water. With the tank, I just go down to about 3”.

I watered the plants then got my shower out of the way before I knew I’d be on the welfare bums’ clock, though I shouldn’t have. I should just live my life as if they truly are done with me on the home front, and who knows? Maybe Scot will never put his actions where his mouth is, though I wouldn’t count on it.

I just hope it won’t be long before the fences are up!

Later…

Since I really do want a mannequin quite bad and have found one I really like, I think I’ll get her after I get just a few more things. I’ll squeeze her in the middle of my list. I’ve decided to drop Sydney, too. I’ll get the Indian doll I’m currently saving for, my mugs, the ballerina ornaments, and Dalene, then I’ll save for the mannequin.

One of the bettas died, but I’m not in a hurry to replace it. After the other two go I’ll get a few new ones since I have 3 bowls.

The cool weather has kept the renters visible. They were out pretty much all day. I thought I heard a puppy barking back there and that still worries me. When these puppies grow up, what are they going to do with them? Are they going to keep them all in the house or turn them loose? They won’t be able to get onto our land if we can ever get this place fenced, but I don’t want to hear them.

Got two letters from Mary today. One confirmed that she got the first big manila envelope which I was happy to hear. She said it looked fabulous and that she liked the colored paper. I figured she would. I think we’re both color freaks!

She’s going to classes and working out. She watches movies in the dayroom. Because of her unwanted fame, she’s aware of the other inmates talking shit about her but holds her own. She doesn’t want to PC herself either and make them think she’s scared of them.

She’d only gotten 2 of the 6 letters I sent, but by now she must be up to 4 or 5.

This ear of mine is a definite lifelong curse from God. How I wish they never created the canal! It’s such a bitch to deal with.

I put a cactus figurine I painted a bright turquoise in ’94 out by the queen palm and it looks cool out there. Its brightness stands out.