As soon as he gets the money transferred into the bank since Yves doesn’t do PayPal, we’re going to order online instead. That way I’ll get the stuff faster and even save a little at the same time. There’ll be a slight change in the products I get, too.

I got pissed off at Tom earlier for contradicting himself on the rodent lots. While he was preparing the large lot he was complaining it was too big. What pissed me off was that he seemed to forget that we agreed we’d do a large lot when we found that small lots didn’t make much, so why he waited to tell me this now, beats me.

I just wish I didn’t have to spend so much time with him. I wish we could get the fuck out of here and that he could get a job not long after the move! I know we’re going to fuss and fight along the move itself and it just gets old. It really does. I love the man, but still, there’s just too much Tom S in my life right now. I get up, he’s there. I go about my daily routine, he’s there. All the more reason to be grateful I never had a kid. I can see how its constant presence would’ve driven me absolutely insane.

As for his next job, which I’m sure is still many months away, my first thought was that he’d nab a high-paying job because we wouldn’t be as desperate for money. Life seems to work that way; it’s those who need it more that don’t seem to get it. I guess that’s why it’s usually the people who aren’t financially strapped to begin with that win the lottery. It’s like God gives to those who have things and he takes from those who don’t have.

But then I thought about it some more and said, nah, he won’t make good money. God knows we want the money and have big plans for it. He’s going to do everything he can to slow down, stall and delay that house. I know he will.

A thought crossed my mind – it’s too bad Doe can’t be the one to die first because then I could probably weasel my way back into Art’s life, acting all empathetic, and get some inheritance money from him since we always got along better, but I agree with Tom – it’s not worth it. It’s not worth all the hassles and bad memories it’d only dredge up. And of course, I’d have to hear about other family members along the way, and I wouldn’t want to, nor would I care to. Lastly, he was no angel just because he wasn’t nearly as bad as his wife. He’s done some raunchy things himself and just the fact that he let her do all she did without even trying to defend me, doesn’t make him worth the bother. I shall stick to my ‘no shit from anyone, blood-related or not,’ motto I’ve had going. I’ve taken way, way more shit from all kinds of people in all kinds of places and all kinds of situations that I never should’ve. But I was too weak and too nice to put my foot down until this all changed about 6 years ago and this is the way it’s going to stay. Besides, with no mortgage and with generating our own electricity, we’ll be fine on our own.

Prime time’s coming up, so hopefully Barbie, as well as other things, will get more bids.

Tom just came in to tell me Kate’s going to be guest-starring in some police series this Friday night that he doesn’t watch that often. I’ll check it out just so I can laugh at how shitty she looks these days. It’ll be worth watching the crack mom give birth and the poor, poor blackies cry racism. I feel bad for her, though. She looks so old these days, but no one’s attractive at 55 years of age. No one.