I asked Tom if he’d feel used if he got a book published and only got a fraction of the sales, and he said no, so I submitted Sacrifices to another publishing company called PD Publishing. They don’t do e-books, though they too, cater to gay/lesbian writers. They also don’t have as many submission guidelines. I screwed up at first by sending them the story in the body of an email message which ended up putting lines between paragraphs that they said they didn’t want. So I sent a note asking if they’d like me to attach the file to the email instead, and they replied saying, yes, attach/send it, and feel free to ask any questions I may have during the 4-6 weeks it’ll take for them to give me their decision. I can’t imagine God allowing me to publish a book no matter how well it may be written, but it’s still fun anyway, and these people seem friendlier than Artemis, who I submitted College Romance and haven’t heard a thing from.

There are still patches of snow out there and it’s supposed to start up again on my birthday. As funny as it may sound, I would keep the snow out there till we move if I could because it’s doing a good job of keeping Beverly from going in and out the back, and even mom and daughter aren’t visiting each other much lately.

This morning, as well as yesterday morning, Bev went out twice. Yesterday each trip was only for a few minutes. At one point she unloaded something from the trunk. Although I couldn’t see clearly through the moisture on the windows, I’m pretty sure it was groceries. This morning she was gone the second time around for more than a few minutes, but I was too tired to stick around to find out how long she’d be gone. The only thing I can think of that would suddenly have her going out like that is that she said her daughter-in-law was expecting, so maybe she just had the kid.

Tom did the math, and if nothing interfered with our plans for once, we could own a house in 5 years, which we decided to do rather than go to a retirement community when he’s 55, simply because we’d want to build up equity first so we could retire in comfort when we do. Maybe a home in California isn’t just a dream after all, but one that simply isn’t meant to be any time too soon. He said we can even afford another house like in Maricopa, though I doubt we’ll get anything that big again. Yes, it was a really cool layout, but it was a tremendous waste of space and a bitch to clean. Tom said he never felt comfortable in that house.

Later…

I was out pulling in the back wind chimes since I so rarely hear them, figuring it was a waste to let them get weathered out when I should just wait till we move. I haven’t decided yet if I’m going to take in the front chimes or not. Where Maricopa was too windy, this place is too calm. I guess I’d take the wind over the calmness. Part of the constant calmness, though, is cuz it’s so damn cold. I was totally back in the cold and snow of Massachusetts when Beverly came out to “see if her clothes would freeze on the line.”

She’s a bit of a nut, but way cool. The only thing she told me that I wasn’t happy to hear was that these electric wall heaters are supposedly going to cost us a fortune. She said her electric bill was $130 when she kept them at 55º so she went out and got a coil heater for her bedroom and that helped. Plus, she’s on HUD because she’s on permanent disability. They don’t even evaluate her anymore, she said. My vibes, plus being good with people due to all the experiences I’ve had, tells me she’s on the same kind of disability I was on – the one reserved for those who aren’t all there! She’s not out of her mind or dangerous in any way, just high-strung. Her rent’s only $173, the lucky bitch!

I offered her Falling Star (she’s heard of Franklin Mint and Ashton Drake), but between her fixed income, 5 grandkids and one on the way, she’s broke. She said she’d mention her to others, though if no one will give me the $50 I want for her, she’ll go up for auction somewhere.

Anyway, I wonder if she has the same wall heaters. I noticed that the area around them appears to have been patched like there was something else there before. Radiators are the cheapest, but they can get noisy and even spray water.

She said she loves it here, but that it does get noisy in the summertime. Mostly from traffic noise when she opens her doors to let fresh air in.

She said she’s 51 and wished me a happy birthday when I told her I’d be 39 this Saturday.

She told me she lost 50 pounds and has been stuck where she’s at ever since. Damn! She must’ve been huge. She’s gotta be 50 pounds overweight right now. I told her that ever since I quit smoking, I’ve been big. She said she smokes (I figured that by her coughing) and that she can’t take the Nicorette gum I used to quit with because she was in an abusive relationship and got her teeth knocked out.

When I mentioned the stereo, she wasn’t sure if it was her TV which is right along the dividing wall or the stereo in the bedroom. In the end, she decided it was coming from the bedroom where she has 8 speakers as part of a surround sound system, including a bass box. Damn! Her stereo makes mine sound like there’s not much to it. She was really cool about it and said it was no problem to tell her about it because she couldn’t know if I didn’t tell her. I asked if she could hear us and she said only once in a while, but it’s no big deal. She said she’d lower the bass on her stereo and I told her to let her know if I get noisy. I told her Tom’s quiet, but that I sometimes talk loudly and get hyper and start to run from room to room, forgetting we’ve got someone attached to us, and then I catch myself.

She asked if we were going to stay here, and I told her that there were no guarantees, but that we’d probably be moving on in May. She doesn’t know if she’s going to stick around much longer herself, after being here for what’s going on two years. I just hope she doesn’t leave before we do! Then, when we get to wherever we’re going, I hope the neighbors are far enough away that it won’t matter whether or not they’re noisy.

She said she’s up pretty early and that she tries not to do too much too early that could be noisy. I told her I didn’t have a schedule and that sometimes I was up all day, sometimes all night.

What I didn’t get was when she said she sometimes likes to be alone, so she runs into the bedroom and shuts the door, and I was like, but you are alone. Unless Romeo’s visiting, she’s alone all the time so why run into the bedroom?