In the midst of the usual ear/teeth annoyances, and listening to her slam in and out next door, I hit my biggest instant win yet. A $200 custom racing jacket! I hope they send one that’ll fit Tom because they didn’t ask for sizes. It’s an auto-racing jacket of some kind. I can’t find a picture of it. The grand prize is a car. I’ve won nearly $1000 in merchandise this month! Tom thinks I’ll one day win a prize worth thousands. I do, too. I just don’t know what or when.

Living with this chronic pain day after day, year after year really gets old. I just don’t understand this Jodi-must-have-something-going-on-with-her rule. If it’s not my asthma, it’s my allergies. When it’s not that, it’s my ear and teeth. It’s always, always something. I’ve quit praying. He obviously wants me to suffer and I should’ve known better too, because I’ve prayed for help with other problems just to be ignored and forced to deal with them for months or even years on end. What kind of a God does this?! Why bother trying to treat my ear and teeth anyway? It’d only cost thousands of dollars and delay the move indefinitely for one, and it’d simply mean trading them in for new problems. Maybe the next problem will be worse, so I’ll just keep this one and learn to toughen up a bit more. They say there’s a reason for everything. I don’t see why any good being up there would possibly want me to suffer, but it does. It does and so I have to just trust in it and hope it’s for the best.