I didn’t lose another pound today. I’m still 123. This is where I always get stuck. I almost got myself to puke earlier. Man, was I close! How I wish I could do it! The more pissed I get each time I fail, the closer I hope I’ll be to succeeding. Tom says it’d cost more money if I did that, but I don’t think so. For one, I wouldn’t need to puke up everything I ate. I need to go to 800 cals, not 0. I’m still at 1000-1200. Also, I could eat more yet still cheap if I could get myself to puke some of it up. There are cheap, but high-cal ravioli and things like that which are more filling. With those, I’d be eating more for the same price. If I could puke some of what I ate up, I could have the best of both worlds where I could eat until I was satisfied, yet lose the calories. I may not be able to enjoy feeling full for 2-3 hours, but at least I could feel that way for a little while before I puked. I wouldn’t do it every day for the rest of my life either. I thought of going back on the Claritin to help with the hunger, but that’d only steal from the money savings, so I’d be better off getting myself to puke. I think I can do it if I work on it and get determined enough. I’m not going to magically “get used to” 800 cals, so I’ll have to do something. Of course, on the other hand, I still don’t know what losing weight would accomplish. It wouldn’t make us rich, bring back our old libidos, get us out of this state, get us into a nice, quiet house that’s no older than 20-30 years, etc.

I changed my mind again and decided I will go ahead with the legislator letter in the fall once it’s been over a year since they summoned Tom (or tried to). I realized that it wouldn’t be so easy to alter what I send without being able to prove that it was altered. I almost wish they would! That’d get us rich in time for damn sure. You can’t edit email. Not unless you copy/paste it in a whole new email which I could say, “Hey, check the ISP on that and you’ll see it didn’t come from my computer!” They also couldn’t add to the letter if I sent it by regular mail cuz you can prove if something was printed with different printers. They’d have to use a whole new sheet of paper and without my fingerprints on it, what case would they have? Just one with their worst nightmare – me!

It turns out, so Tom learned yesterday, that it was Eddie who knocked on the door last Sunday. Amazingly, he didn’t want anything, but just to see if we’d like him to bring us back to his place for a barbecue. He and his wife and her kid have a 2-bed duplex with a small yard. That was very nice of him, but I hope he doesn’t make a habit of showing up unannounced, even though he didn’t wake me up. Tom told him I was sleeping and that he was under his headphones watching TV.

Today he’s going to be helping Justin, the guy that gave us the dressers. He has a computer problem, I guess. Tom doesn’t know how big a job it’s going to be.

We took a walk down to this new store that sells incense. They’ve got a good selection now. I got 25 sticks, but of course I’ll burn them up long before I get my order from the Incense Rack. The Stick Man got the money order yesterday, so that was good, but I have a feeling he’ll be out of stock on a lot of things and take forever to fill the order. He says there are two orders ahead of mine that are also big, and that they fill them one at a time to avoid making mistakes. It’s good to know that they try to be careful, but I don’t know if I’ll order from them again. If not, there’s always SOS. They haven’t let me down yet, though I’ll be bummed if they decide to give up on Silk Splash. Anyway, if I do order from the Incense Rack again, it’ll definitely be by email!