I may back out of sending the legislator’s letter about the stereos. I hate to seem like the ultimate chicken shit, and this may be being as ridiculously paranoid as Tom gets, but what’s to say they wouldn’t alter the letter and add threats just to have an excuse to fuck with us, not that I’d sit back and let them win like I so stupidly did in Arizona. I still blame myself just as much as I do the sickos, pigs, public defender, and judge for the shit I went through in Maricopa. I mean, I still can’t believe I so stupidly jumped to their every beck and court call and went running to court and right into their trap. Then I continued to allow myself to be abused after jail like a stupid idiot. That to me is no better than a woman who stays with an abusive man rather than fights back or runs. I literally walked right up to them and said, “I’m all yours to use and abuse at will.” The bigger fool is the one who acknowledges the other fool.

Anyway, one person bitching isn’t going to change things. Most folks dig noise anyway, and I’m almost positive I would never hear back from them other than maybe to acknowledge that they got the letter. Still, it’s not worth the risk, however small it may be.

Since Sunday, I’ve dropped from an average of 1200 cals to 1000 or less and have lost a pound a day since. I’m now at 123 pounds. I thought I’d get used to it after a few days, but I’m still famished most of the time. I try to keep in mind that a small bite here and there won’t do me any good since I’m so damn hungry that a few bites would be worthless. I’d need about 1000 cals in one sitting to fill me up. If it turns out that he’s right about my being able to lose weight and I’m the one who’s been wrong, then come Saturday I’ll decide what to do from there. I know I’m not ready to spend the money on the 1500-2000 cals a day I’d love to have, then the clothes I’d need once I gained a million pounds, so that means I’ll either stay wherever I’m at on Saturday or I’ll keep torturing myself with what feels like near-total starvation. A part of me is curious to see just how far down I could go, but I also don’t like being hungry. I was stuck too, for the first few days. I always get stuck when I have under 1200 cals.

Yesterday I got quite a hell of a workout, but it was fun and I felt so good afterward. A little tired, but good. We rode our bikes over 6 miles. First we rode to McDonald’s where we split a whopping 1220-calorie breakfast platter. We arrived a few minutes before 6:00, so we had those few minutes to kill while we waited for them to unlock the doors. During that time we watched an employee feed a few seagulls. They sure do make the coolest sounds, though I’d take a frying pan to their heads (better not tell Mary this) if they were in the house here as pets. Their behavior is very pigeon-like, but unlike pigeons, they’re very loud.

After we ate we jumped on this bike path we’ve been wanting to go on. It was so fun not having to constantly cross roads and dodge traffic. We could really pick up speed this way too, whereas along the roads, by the time you’ve barely had a chance to pick up speed, you have to slow down to cross the road. The bike path leads all the way up to where the old Albertson’s is, which we prefer over Safeway any day. We may one day ride up there so we can shop there. It’d be a longer ride distance-wise, but there’d be less stopping and starting along the way.

Not much in the way of wins other than another instant win tee I hit. He hit an instant too, winning a $25 Visa card.

He trimmed 3” off my hair this weekend. Now it’s only to my waist. I’m definitely not trimming it again for a year, maybe even two. I’m amazed at how healthy it is despite the dying and frying I’ve been doing to it. I’d say it was definitely the cigarettes that caused it to be so shabby for so long.