It’s just after 5 AM. It’s 57º here and just 39º in K-Falls! See why I wanted out so bad? That was one of many reasons anyway. I just wonder when we’ll have a better life here, starting with getting out of motels. While it still may be quiet overall, we get annoying people on the sides of us at times like what we have right now. Everybody’s just gotta stomp, bang and slam anything and everything they can.

Anyway, Tom has an appointment on the 19th at the DMV so he can get a California driver’s license. As he reminded me, having an Oregon license really limited him as to what jobs he could get. Fortunately, he was told he could work up to 12 hours overtime each week, which amounts to more than what he was making without overtime in Oregon, but if they’re not going to hire him on soon and give him a raise, he’s going to start looking elsewhere. I know he’d rather work for higher pay and not have to do so much overtime all the time. But that’s just it; it’s not always available now when we really need it most. It usually is, but not always. That’s how life is; you never get what you need when you really need it. Once we do get financially secure (if we ever do), that’s when I’ll win cash.

Because something up there is so obsessed with me living where I don’t want to live, so much so that I’m surprised it doesn’t have me framed for murder and sentenced to life in prison, I still sometimes think maybe we ought to just settle on our own and get an apartment and get out of here faster, maybe even score some points from above while we’re at it. If I can’t live where I want to anyway, why wait for it to make me settle? Sure, I’d miss my privacy in an apartment, and sure apartments are noisier than houses, but does it really matter if we hear barking, car doors and car stereos from a house, versus house stereos, TVs and banging from an apartment? It’s all obnoxious just the same, you just usually get more of it in apartments. But we could get out of this single room and have our stuff back next month if we got an apartment, whereas this won’t happen till probably next year if we hold out for a house that may very well not be much more peaceful. No house is peaceful in the west that isn’t on acreage or in a retirement community. Especially in the warmer areas. Not until people start taking their dogs indoors and stop blasting car stereos, none of which will ever happen. Also, there’d be no need to worry about my own noise when I wanted to sing or crank up my stereo in an apartment since everyone else would be just as noisy, if not noisier.

Who knows what we’ll do in the end, but for starters, we’re going to be listing some stuff on eBay this weekend, which will wrap up week two of not having any major scares or crises. I really think being armed with “ammo” might’ve helped, and believe me, having that “get out of life quick” card really does make me feel better!

Later…

Tom has the cold I predicted he’d get a couple of months ago, although I am 4 days off on that one. I wish I could knock them out as soon as they take hold like I can with mine. As soon as they grab me by the throat and my throat’s all scratchy, I kill them with my spells. But they don’t work with him. All they do is ease them up a bit.

I also wish I was like OJ. Then I could get away with murder, and now apparently armed robbery, and just go out and steal the money to move into a place with, knowing I’d get away with it all for being rich and black and cuz of what might’ve happened to my ancestors over a century ago, and for the sake of keeping my fellow losers from rioting like spoiled brats! Then I could make even more money by writing all about it. But I’m white. Just a second-class citizen. Oh well, I can dream, can’t I?

While wishing I was the almighty black man, I dreamt of that dumpy house again. But even if we were ever lucky enough to save $100 a month, which would take a damn good job, we’d be looking at being stuck here for about a year and a half. This thought makes me just want to scream! I keep trying to tell myself that there are worse places to be, and there are, but being here that long would be bad enough. We’re never going to “get home.” There really, really is no place for us.

I heard from Mary who says she can understand my frustrations right now. Also, she doubts the car stereos will drive her crazy because she loves music. But that’s just it, it’s not music you hear. It’s all bass. The only way you can hear anything else is to be inside the car itself. She’s been in so long that she has no idea what they’re like today and just how loud and annoying the damn things are. She said they’d be okay as long as she could hear her own music over them, but quite often enough, she wouldn’t be able to. Obviously, it depends on how far away the car is and how loud they’re blasting it, but hell, I could quite often hear the damn things over a loud vacuum! I could hear them in the shower, over my own music unless I blasted it, over the air cleaner, etc. Unless it was snowing and below 30º up in Oregon, I did everything to the obnoxious thump of that fucking bass. I woke up to it, I had my coffee to it, I peed to it, I cleaned to it, I dressed to it, I worked to it, I ate to it, I showered to it. This is why I no longer want to live on busy streets, though “quiet” streets are no longer necessarily quieter. All it takes is one. You could end up next door to someone who loves to sit and get attention and use the thing to annoy anyone they can. They’re a problem here, too. The things can be heard from many, many miles away, depending on what’s around. Taller buildings and mountains will prevent the sound from traveling as far, but in open areas, you can hear them from over 20 miles away. They’re just like a bunch of live, traveling concerts, only worse because there are so damn many and so damn often. If you’re a light sleeper like myself and one who’s distracted easily when you’re trying to write or work on whatever, it can really make life hell. I don’t understand how most people can stand the damn things, but obviously, they can and they don’t mind the constant thunderous rumbling, or else something would’ve been done about them a long time ago. They’ve been a problem for years now, and if they haven’t been banned yet other than from a few touristy areas, they never will. Not until they get so damn loud that they’re literally smashing windows and people are getting shot over them. People act on extremes, and unfortunately, it’ll take extremes like that for something to finally be done. You know how twisted the laws are. You can’t drive with headphones which prevents you from hearing sirens, but you can play your music insanely loud and really not hear them! Anyway, in some cases you can blast your own stereo or wear headphones and drown them out that way, but in others you can still feel the beat vibrating throughout the place.