Tom’s bummed out and scared too, but he’s mostly mad. He says the more he feels like he’s being pushed in one direction, the more he wants to fight back. He thinks he should sell all his stuff, saying so what if he’ll miss it for a while, cuz he can get better stuff down the road once we get what we want, and of course, I have stuff I don’t want anyway that I could sell, though he’d never insist that I sell anything of mine like my dolls. He could sell the X-box he won, tools and other computer stuff. I have some dolls I don’t want and the Denise mannequin we could sell on eBay and in pawnshops, it’s just that we couldn’t get nearly what the stuff is worth.

I don’t know, I still say we’d be better off dead to spare us a lot more grief and that we’d be fighting back even more that way. You can’t curse someone if they’re dead, but there are some things I’d certainly miss. Is this jam worth trying to get out of, even though I’m not convinced that we even can? It’s got my influencing blocked. I can’t influence, just see things coming.

We both agree we don’t want to give whatever’s up there what it wants by taking an apt. We’re going where we say we’re going if we’re gonna live!