Got to listen to the damn mutts for a little bit this evening on a weeknight of all nights. I was worried he’d be gone overnight so I couldn’t enjoy a movie later on in peace (if I could stay online long enough), but I heard a car door slam shortly after 11:00. He’s the only one I can hear around here, so it had to be him. Plus it’s been quiet for 45 minutes now.

Dealing with this shit for two decades has got me so fed up that I don’t see how I wouldn’t lose it at the next place if dogs left outdoors unattended to bark up a storm continues to be an issue for us there as well. I will literally go over and kick the thing to death. Or at least have a helluva time keeping myself from doing just that as dogs have more rights than humans unless you’re not white. They’d put me in jail for years for that. But complaining to the owner either makes things worse or gets nothing accomplished. They’ll either blow up in my face like they did in Phoenix and make my life a living hell, or they’ll just give me all kinds of lame excuses, “There’s nothing we can do about it.” “Oh, but he’s a good dog and doesn’t bite.” “That’s just what dogs do. Babies cry, dogs bark.”

Yeah, and the pushed-to-the-limit sometimes snap.

The law wouldn’t give a shit because they’re more interested in what people have to say as opposed to what they let their mutts do, and God help me if they’re not white because they will use their race/nationality as a crutch and it will be guaranteed to work in their favor. Therefore, I will simply end up looking like someone who’s picking on them for their color and not for their refusal to control their dogs.

My hip is better today. I’m taking a couple of days off from working out, though I don’t know if I can stand to take the whole week off Tom recommends. I’d probably gain weight if I did even if I stuck to my diet, which is going very well lately now that I’m doing it right. I didn’t realize the protein was having such negative effects on me. It’s also better to go 3 hours between snacks and meals instead of 2 when I can stand to do so. I’m PMSing now so hunger levels are up a bit and it’s hard to pinpoint my exact weight with all the water I’m carrying.

Tom finally drove the forklift at work. He said he was a little nervous at first since it was something new. He described how it works and how he wears a harness that’s attached to a cable and all that. He goes up as high as 25’. That’s a scary thought! But he said it’s more dangerous to things around him than it is to him.

Later...

I went to bed hoping I’d “see” where we may move to in my dreams. Well, I was somewhere, in some house, but can’t remember it to save my life!

Then I got lost in Italy. I was there with my mother of all people. We sat down in a large and crowded dining area in some mall with some other woman we may or may not have met there. For some reason, I decided to wander around and see some shops. Maybe I wasn’t hungry or maybe I thought it’d be a while before someone took our order.

I found myself in a doll shop and decided I needed one as a souvenir even though I’d quit collecting dolls years ago. I pulled a tiny, old and beat-up vinyl doll from a bin and asked how much it cost more out of curiosity than interest. I was told it was 21 cents, and why we were speaking English and not Italian is beyond me.

Then I picked up a larger doll made of all porcelain. I found it weird that her hairline extended so far down her forehead that it came to right above her eyebrows.

I placed the doll back and returned to the diner. Only my mother and the other woman were gone. A slow panic began to rise within me. I knew that if they didn’t return I might never find them because I had no idea where to even begin to look. So that’s how I awoke, lost and looking for mommy at age 46.