Traffic and landscaping during the daytime. Blasting TVs at night. I really can’t live in peace, can I? The “stroke” house is blasting their TV again. I can hear it all the way down in my bedroom. When I was out walking earlier I could not only see the TV through their window, but they had the window wide open. Do they have any idea just how fucking loud that thing is or do they not give a shit? I’m guessing the latter. But because it’s a lot easier to drown out than loud stereos and barking dogs, I’m keeping my mouth shut, even though I shouldn’t have to hear someone else’s TV at midnight. Especially in a retirement community and ESPECIALLY in a house. That’s just fucking ridiculous. But knowing what pussies people tend to be and how poorly they handle complaints, no matter how much in the right I may be, I don’t want to risk what shit they may give me thus possibly causing me to lose it on them.

They had their equally obnoxious car out a couple of times earlier. It’s not as loud as the one the kid drives, but loud enough to give them the gratification of knowing that they forced people to acknowledge them as they drove by. But yeah, I’d say the guy who had a stroke has recovered enough to start driving again. And blast the TV, of course. These people aren’t early to bed like most old folks. The TV is usually blasting between 9 PM and 1 AM. I don’t know how the people next to them and Bob and Virginia can stand it.

A couple of days ago I was thinking that they’re going to turn the water off again any time now, and I was right. We got a notice saying it’s going to be off tomorrow from 8 AM to 2 PM, but I should be asleep during those times.

Later…

For the first time in my life, I was thrilled when my doctor’s nurse called to tell me my TSH was at 15, and I explained why and all about the experiment I was doing to isolate the root cause of my anxiety for once and for all. I told her I started skipping every other day when I felt anxious a few weeks ago so I could see if I still felt that way when my TSH eventually got too high to be causing most of it (OMG, the dry skin I had for a couple of weeks there). While the medication still can and does fuel the anxiety if my TSH drops under 10, it’s great to know the meds aren’t the main culprit. If I’m ever going to be able to tolerate the single digits, though, it’s going to have to wait until I’m postmenopausal and my hormones have settled in. But yeah, it’s great to know that the root cause since I began being “stabbed” in the chest on and off since last December is mostly the perimenopause just like my doctor in Tammy said.

For now, I’ve agreed to take it every day that I can stand to (I’m not going to let the anxiety escalate to the point that my heart is racing and I’m on the toilet with the runs three times a day) and will skip doses if the anxiety picks up. For the most part, I haven’t had too many anxious days for a while and it’s now been a couple of months since I needed lorazepam. In six weeks I will return to the lab.

Thinking back on it now there are a few things I can see that definitely points away from the medication as being the root cause. I took a dose following a day where I felt anxious but didn’t have any anxiety the next day. So no accumulation issues or pocket flares there. I also haven’t had any lung tightness or “mindfuckers,” as I call those crazy and irrational flashes of dread I used to feel. No jitteriness either… All symptoms that you’re heading for trouble and going thyrotoxic.

For just one dollar each, we upgraded our phones to these really nice androids that will cost us anywhere from $3 - $14 a month depending on what data we DL. Yeah, a hell of a deal. I don’t understand why people pay hundreds for high-end phones when there are much cheaper phones that can do the same thing. Tom got one first and when I checked it out and decided I like it better than my other one, we went and ordered me one before this incredible sale is over. We had a little trouble at first but finally managed to transfer my number to the new phone. I hate to chat much but I do other things with it like play music on it when I’m out running. This one is easier to change wallpaper pics, create contacts, and tweak other settings. I love how I can give different people in my contacts different ringtones.

Hurricane Irma is heading Tammy’s way, last I knew. I guess she’s still going to the girls’ place and Mark will be holed up at work.