“Hi, cutie,” Kathleen greeted me as I entered my dentist’s office yesterday. Again a part of me thought she was just being friendly while my gut instinct said otherwise. Is anyone really that touchy-feely and full of flattering compliments that are just being friendly? LOL, if I were homophobic then the last few years would really piss me off between her and Stacey. Despite what my gut is telling me, I still seriously doubt I’ll ever hear from her outside of the office. I realize this doesn’t mean she hasn’t at least looked in on me. She likely isn’t going to contact me because she works for me, as Tom pointed out, even if she may not work for me in the way the doctor does. Or maybe she’s put off by my not driving or feels that her attraction is all the more reason to stay away from me because we’re both married. Maybe she feels a friendship wouldn’t be enough for her. But then maybe she’s crazy. As I’ve learned, anyone can be crazy, and sometimes that includes people who are some of the nicest and seemingly harmless people on earth. And yet again maybe she really is just being super nice, even though I’ve never seen her treat other patients the same way, not that I’ve seen her interact with every patient that goes in there.

I was there for 3.5 hours and it was definitely a rough ride. So I’m quite relieved that it’s over even though it ended up costing us $800 instead of $600. The fucking insurance company didn’t pay as much for the mouthguard as we thought. Sometimes I wonder what the point is of having insurance when you still have to pay a fortune anyway. If it’s going to alleviate some of my pain and sensitivity, however, then it’s worth it. Tom is wonderful in that instead of throwing up his hands and saying, “Damn, you’re an expensive wife,” he has no problem making sure I get what I need.

So I said to Kathleen, “Guess what color?” since she always checks out my nails. She guessed purple. Wrong! But she was still amazed by how tiny my glittery red nails were as she took them in her hands to inspect them, saying something about princess nails. She wore the same pale pink nail color she had the last time and the same dull lipstick, a matte shade of terra-cotta. I think she would look better in light pink.

“We’re on the same page there,” she said in regard to my comment on her sparkly lapels (I wore a sparkly top). LOL, other than that she was dressed just as lamely as she was the last time. She’s a sweetheart, but we’re definite opposites in appearance. She wore a white blouse with clear gemstones on the lapels. She had a navy pantsuit on over it which hung from her too-thin frame like it would on a manikin. She’s even skinnier than Stacey. They probably both weigh about 100 pounds but Stacey is 5’ where Kathleen is about 5‘6” or 5‘7”. She’s a very frail woman. Stacey definitely had the better body, and probably the better everything except for the height and eyes. I definitely appreciate Kathleen’s height and I think she has prettier eyes, even though I usually prefer dark eyes to light.

Instead of what I thought would be Shannan coming to get me, she came around and opened the door just like last time and said they had my room ready for me. Then it was show-and-tell time as usual, haha. She put an arm around my left shoulder, took hold of my right hand and held it out to show my dazzling nails and outfit to Holly and Michaela. “Doesn’t she always look so cute?” she said.

Keeping her arm around my shoulder as if I was disabled or something, I gave her a quick hug with the arm that was closest to her and said, “I wish I was as thin as you.” Well, maybe not quite that thin, but her response was, “You’re beautiful,” and then she stopped to show me off to the doctor, even though she was still working on someone.

What was both strange and funny is that her actions sort of mimicked the dream I recently had of her kissing me on my head.

Finally, I was seated in the last room down. It was as freezing as usual and she told me to let her know if I wanted a blanket. I thought I would be okay but when Holly went by I flagged her down.

“Hello, beautiful,” she said and I asked for that blanket. Hell, I could’ve even used my new gloves in that place! I asked Holly why they keep it so cold and she said they get hot while they’re working if they don’t. She and the doctor both laughed when I said, “Where are the hot flashes when you need them?”

The only real disappointment besides all the time and money was learning that Shannan left. All the doctor said was that she wanted to do something else, whatever that is. Shannan is in her 30s, so she has many working years ahead of her. Meanwhile, Tom and I are getting the impression that the new doctor, who I haven’t seen yet, will eventually take over my doctor’s patients. At that time I’ll make a decision whether or not to stay or go somewhere else. If this doctor is suitable enough, then I may stay there because I know the staff well and feel comfortable with them. I’d miss Holly cleaning my teeth and I would certainly miss Kathleen. I worry that she’ll leave too, though she’s a little old to be suddenly wanting to do something else. I think she’s older than I realized. I thought she was around 50, but upon closer inspection of those zipper lips (lines on the edges of her lips) and overall appearance, she could be between 55 and 60. Wrinkles are more common in skinnier people, though. By most people’s standards, she’s very average in appearance but her friendliness gives her an air of attractiveness. She was probably pretty good-looking 20 years ago. She does have nice teeth and eyes. It’s the rest of her that’s just there. She’s too thin and her nose appears half-moon shaped from the side. We were surprised to learn her beautiful teeth are crowns. I wonder if she got them because she needed to or just for appearance.

Again, I don’t expect to hear from her, but I’m surprised she’s still this friendly, and even more so with each visit. I don’t go back until March so this will be a true test as to just how much she wants to connect with me. If she did, then I would think I would hear from her somewhere between now and my next appointment. If I don’t hear from her before then, then I definitely never will. The fact that I haven’t yet makes me wonder if I’ve got her all wrong or if I’m right on but she’s hesitant for the reasons I already mentioned. I should know for sure either way by March. Even Shannan once brought up on her own coming to see my rats, and she also said she’d look me up but she never did. People will say things out of kindness or to put you at ease and make you feel more comfortable around them, but you definitely can’t take them literally. A friendship might still be nice no matter how she likes me.

Anyway, the office isn’t so white anymore because Kristi, the new Shannan, is Hispanic. She’s just sort of there. I liked Shannan better. She made me feel more comfortable and I definitely felt safe with her maybe because she was so big. Becky H once said that no one wants to hug a stick, and I see her point. Hugging Kathleen felt like hugging a stick.

Jessica said hello too, before the doctor came in and had Kristi scan pictures of my teeth for the insurance company. Tom may have a phobia of dentists but he sure would appreciate how high-tech things are there. They have some really cool equipment.

It took about a half-hour for all the drilling, maybe slightly less. It was no fun at all. The doctor used a different type of numbing agent that was also free of epinephrine but did a better job blocking pain. I still needed her to stop a few times to give me additional shots because it is still a short-acting drug. Just not as short as the other stuff.

She had Kristi insert this thing that kept my jaw open when she was working on the upper tooth because I kept zoning out and closing on her, LOL. It’s hard to continually keep your mouth open as wide as possible anyway, trust me. With the bottom one, it wasn’t as important.

They gave me large sunglasses to wear to keep the glare of the light out of my eyes as well as the powdery tooth fragment floating in the air. The smell was bad enough. I hate the sound of that damn drill and I’m so glad it’s over! It’s like metal train wheels screeching along the tracks. I still managed to go through the whole thing without any chill pills.

Once I was all drilled out, Kristi told me I could go ahead and walk around while they were printing my crowns. I went out into the waiting room but by then things were so busy that Kathleen and I didn’t have any time to chat. People were coming and going and when they weren’t, she was either on the phone, talking to the staff, or busy on the computer. This woman left at one point and Kathleen looked at her strangely as they left. In anger? Irritation? Frustration? Her expression was hard to read and I didn’t want to stare her down either.

I did learn that she has a daughter because during one of her phone calls she told someone, “Thanks, but I’m good for now. I had a birthday and my daughter took care of me.”

Kristi, “mesmerized” by my sparkly shirt and Swarovski-like bracelet, came and got me a half-hour later and I thought the crowns would be printed by then, but the doctor had actually been designing them. I forgot that part. Even though this 3-D printer is radically different than Tom’s, you don’t simply print things out just like that. They wanted to do a color comparison first and then they printed them out. It was so cool too, because while I couldn’t see the printer, they started it on the computer that was by the chair I sat in and I could see the progress and time counting down. Each one took about 10 minutes to print, but then I had to wait for it to cool down, so it was quite a long appointment. Like I said, I couldn’t see the printer but I could hear it. It didn’t make the obnoxious alien sound Tom’s does, but it sort of reminded me of an old dot matrix printer, only lower-pitched and less screechy.

So she finally seated the crowns and I was good to go. Kathleen was just getting off the phone as we were heading out the door, so I got to say goodbye to her. She never mentioned contacting me, so neither did I.

I slept with the mouthguard last night with no problem and awoke with no TMJ pain at all. It’s too soon, however, to get a sense of how helpful it will be. At least I know I won’t have to worry about grinding my teeth this way.

My gums and jaw are a bit sore today, understandably, but my bite is right on. At first I worried that the new bottom tooth was too tall. My bite seemed to only hit down on that side, but as Tom said, it was just the residual effects of the numbing agent giving me that feeling.

Since I’ll likely be canceling my shrink appointment, all I should have until I see Dr. A on my birthday is an eye exam next Monday, and then a trip to the lab for both of us on Tuesday. He’s having the standard routine tests done and I’ll have my thyroid tested. I’m certainly under 16 now but there’s no way I could be in the single digits. I’m too calm.

After the dentist, we stopped at Wendy’s and ate with the usual blasting music. I’m so sick of having music forced on me whether it’s stuff I like or not. I’m there to either eat or shop, not listen to music. But we didn’t opt to take it to go, so music is what we got.

I’m even sicker of the never-ending slew of projects around here. The general traffic and landscaping are enough. They were paving streets a few streets down, and loud vehicles and equipment were coming and going by the house the last two days. Now there’s a work truck at B & V’s and I wonder how much racket I’ll be in for there. Please tell me they don’t need to be tented! That was maddening from across the street, so coming from right next to me would definitely mean I wouldn’t be getting any sleep depending on when they did it. All the hammering and sawing would drive me crazy for damn sure. That’s not just a one or two-day job but more like a week or two.

They’re still cleaning out the house across from Jon & Carolyn, too.

OMG, Kathleen just left a message! No joke. Of course, I fucking missed it because I don’t always have the phone nearby. She called to thank me for referring Deep, saying she’s delightful and she can see how we’d be friends. She also wanted to see how I was doing. Also, it was wonderful to see me yesterday, call her if I need anything, and we’ll talk soon.

Will we? I hope so, but either way, I called her back and got sent to VM. I told her she must be psychic because I was just thinking of her (for real) and explained that while I’m glad they like Deep, I don’t actually know her. She’s Tom’s coworker. Out of curiosity, I’ll have to ask Tom what she looks like. I know she’s a lot younger, like around 30.

I just realized I got a text message from them with a link to review them but when I clicked the link it said that it was removed because it violates their TOS. Oh well. I’ve reviewed them on Yelp and Google+ already.

Okay, so to finally wrap up this entry which has taken nearly all day so far thanks to both my ADD and Kathleen distracting me (at least I’m having trouble focusing in a good way for once), I’m totally disappointed though not surprised that the really loud car is back after more than a week of enjoying its absence. They were probably just vacationing somewhere.

What else… yesterday was 15 weeks since my last period and all five pairs of my glasses have been cleaned in our ultrasonic cleaner.