Okaaayyy, I have done my part and I guess this is it. We can send messages to people but we can’t make them reply. If my nieces want nothing to do with me, I will respect their wishes and fuck right off, but this is the way it stays. :) Once you step out of my life or I put you out of it, you don’t get back in. I don’t go back and forth, I don’t “fight” for people, I don’t do dramatics, etc. Out of respect for Tammy, I have refrained from really speaking my mind, not that it would change anything other than to perhaps let me vent and get some things off my chest since they seem to be very Kim-like in that they can do no wrong as far as they’re concerned.

As I said, I don’t want any drama. So best to simply return the silent treatment and leave it at that. Sometimes it’s okay to consider other people’s feelings before considering our own and that’s what I’m going to do in this case, but only for now. Someday I fully do intend to share a piece of my mind with the narcissistic selfish bitches no matter what.

Finished Slasher last night and was surprised at who the Druid turned out to be. Just didn’t expect them to be black and I’m sure the producers got called out on that one, but I like that they mix things up. More realistic that way.

The last few nights have been quiet and the days have been hot and dry. Unfortunately, the temperature is going to drop 20° by Friday. :-(

Right before 8pm, I heard a guy shout in what sounded like a panicked and angry voice. My first thought was Mr. Twenties getting run over again, but then I looked out the front window and saw two guys and a woman entering the circle on bikes. I didn’t see the first biker but the other guy and woman seemed younger and my first thought was that it was the punk with the loud car and his father and sister. But they never re-entered the circle after leaving it unless they did so without shouting at each other, and I haven’t heard the car, so I guess it wasn’t them.

Slept great but last night I was slightly on edge. Didn’t feel as good as I did the night before but tonight I’m feeling okay so far. Still not having anything that literally constitutes being anxious so that much is good. My next milestone goal is to get to August. That’s when I go from being 60% hopeful to 80%. Still don’t want to get my hopes up too high but it’s looking good so far. It’s been 8 months since my last period and while I don’t want to get my hopes up with that either, that’s looking good, too. :-)

Because I fucked up and left the 11th on the calendar for seeing Amy when it was really bumped up to the 14th, he’s got both of those days off. During the 11th we’re going to take Candy for a little test drive and see what it’s like using the free charging stations. We won’t go very far, of course, but maybe up to Auburn or something.

Oh, the joys of having ADD. Really getting impatient with the book I’m writing so even if it’s not always a good thing to do, I’m going to rush it along and get it done and over with so I can get bored with another story during July’s Camp NaNo, LOL.

The waterless small animal shampoo arrived. It leaked a little but the bottle is still full. The baby powder scent is lovely. I don’t know if the rats care one way or the other, but the pigs seem to like it.

Fuzzy used to sit on my shoulder as I’d open the fridge to get his cheese. Now he jumps into the fridge and tries to help himself, haha!

Digital Expressions is shutting down after 17 years. Never wrote much there anyway since I didn’t like their text editor much. It replaced apostrophes with these funny symbols and I can’t do anything “privately” while still being public since people always find me. As I’ve said before, if I want someone to know I signed up wherever, I would tell them. Sometimes I just like to write for a different group of people and see how they react. That ain’t happening unless I create a bogus email account and join in a bogus name and that’s just not worth it to me. So I’ll likely be just MO or private in most places.

Aly didn’t deactivate her Ask account but I did. Why get questions I’m going to have a hard time answering due to their shit? Maybe Ask will sell the damn site someday to someone better equipped to handle all the traffic and that won’t need to resort to tactics that will drive users away.

Meanwhile, we’re both on CC now and I suspect Kim is, too.

“Do you worry a lot about things?”

This was a question I was asked anonymously that smacks of Kim.

I asked Aly if she wanted me to identify myself when asking her questions and she said I didn’t have to because she could usually tell what was from me. To this, she added a grinning emoji, and again I wondered just how she’s able to make me on so many things. But I also don’t see how she could hack my account and find that info either. We can’t keep track of the things we’ve asked others. Aly would have to hack Ask itself in order to find that info out. Could she do something like that and get away with it? Would she do it if she could? I would think that would be awfully risky but who knows? The only other way she could find this out would be to hack my computer and I would think my virus protection would have picked up on that by now, but I’m not a computer expert. She knows more about this kind of thing than I do.

But yeah, she really makes me wonder at times. Maybe she’s psychic or unusually intuitive because there were times, after all, when I mentioned sensing someone on Ask who knows us, and she said she got that feeling, too. Well, if she could just hack Ask and find out, why not do that? And why disallow anonymous comments as she did for a while, saying she wanted to know who was asking what? So she’s probably just very intuitive or a lucky guesser.

Started unsubscribing from sweeps because I just don’t win often enough for it to be worth wading through all the spam. It’s like the sponsors take advantage of entrants and see it as a legal opportunity to spam the shit out of them. Besides, getting other people’s “congratulations” really gets to me. I don’t know why, but I fucking hate that. It’s just so rude and unnecessary to congratulate someone on someone else’s win and get them all excited for nothing. Only the real winners should be notified. Not everyone entered the contest.

Learned what a “gold star” lesbian is, LOL, when pouring through some questions and answers on CC. I guess it’s a lesbian who has never been with a man and never intends to be either.

I still consider myself technically bi because I have been attracted to some men here and there. Just not as many men as women. You know you’re growing old, though, when the thought of being liked by someone you consider gorgeous doesn’t excite you the way it would years ago. I don’t think I’d feel anything at all.

I still watch random videos before bed when I’m unwinding and I’ve browsed through many videos of stories where people claim to have gone to heaven while others go to hell. I just never know whether or not they’re true stories, hallucinations, or maybe they’re just making it all up.

I still worry about an afterlife existing even though I would prefer for there to be absolutely nothing at all. Still don’t know if there is one, but the possibility concerns me because if there is a hell, how do I know that’s where I won’t end up? Well, I guess when these dark possibilities worry me, I just try to reassure myself that there’s just as much chance of me ending up in a good place as there is a bad one.

Then there’s the debate on how humanity will end. Most scientists and laureates believe it will end due to the population rising and environmental degradation.

I disagree. I believe it’ll end by their second guess… Nuclear war. I think climate change, environmental damage and disease are actually what would be the case if not for a nuclear war. So I think their second guess is most likely and their first guess is the next likely.

I can’t say when this war will happen, but I think it’s about a hundred years away. I don’t think it will happen until technology advances so far that just a few bombs are all it takes to destroy humanity. Right now, the people crazy enough to start shit don’t quite have the power to do much harm. The biggest threat is from the Middle East and North Korea. They’re even crazier than Trump. Trump is too selfish to spite himself in order to spite others in that he wouldn’t be willing to kill everybody in the world if it meant killing himself as well. Once the most advanced weapons get into the wrong hands is when worldwide chaos, death and destruction will occur. And yes, there are plenty of people who will kill themselves and their families to kill others.