On the way to the beach now and feeling better than I felt on Tuesday. Yesterday I had mild anxiety and today I’m just a little on edge as well.

I just hope he’s right in that I only got anxious because I was alone too much and my body is adjusting to the final ramp-up of my new dose and its new normal. At least until and if my thyroid dies some more in the future and I have to go up another dose. I decided that as long as I’m under 10, even if I’m still not normal, I’m not going up anymore.

He thinks I’ll eventually go years without anxiety, only being on edge just once in a while. I hope he’s right! For all I know, though, I just started another bad spell that could last for weeks or even months and will continue to be tormented by this shit on and off all my life. Next time I’m on nights, he’s going to sync his schedule with mine. He’s also going to make a point of not letting me have as much alone time by overlapping parts of our schedules. I still want some alone time as he understands, but this way I won’t be alone long enough for my mind to wander to all those dark places deep in the night, mostly end-of-life stuff and all the horrible possible scenarios that could play out. All those what-ifs. What if he has a stroke someday and ends up in a wheelchair and I’m unable to help and care for him properly? What if I do and then he dies and I’m unable to end it so I won’t waste away in misery in some nursing home or someplace like that?

The lack of sunlight on nights doesn’t help either, and I don’t always remember my full-spectrum light.

All Galileo did was hit me with another one of their standard anxiety forms with questions and tell me they’d see what my numbers are soon and offer referrals. They never answered my question as to whether or not my body could still be getting used to the med.

Anyway, I told them to hold off on the referrals until I know if the anxiety is going to drag on or not

A couple of days ago when my HR was elevated, I took Children’s Benadryl since it was the end of my day anyway and it helped relax me and bring my HR down.

My HR spiked to 122 when I was really anxious. Again. I really, really hope I’m not just in for another long anxious spell. I think the next few weeks will tell me what I’m in for. If it is my body adjusting, I’ll be okay soon enough. If not…

Good thing I kept up with the Coq10 because my blood pressure does seem a bit better. I’ve traded in the 140s and 150s for the 120s and 130s for systolic numbers.

Said hi to Toni the other day, who said “okay” to herself as she was getting out of her SUV. How fun it would be to plant a secret recording device in her place so I could have fun listening to her talk to herself! LOL

Love my new diamond painting organizer! It’s so pretty with colorful butterflies on the outside of the case. These jars hold twice as many diamonds as the old ones, so I don’t need to put extras in bags. I also numbered the jars to keep track of the number I’m currently working on and therefore eliminating the need for several numbered “boats,” the things you pour the drills in. It also came with a little container for glue, a funnel for pouring the diamonds into the jars without spilling them all over the place, and an array of drills and other things. Wish I had this a couple of years ago! It makes things so much easier.

One of my nails is still split so I’m gonna get some nail glue. I still think it’s dip damage. I have a nail sticker on it now.

I’m also going to get some 8x8 aluminum pans used for cooking to make homemade plant humidifiers. I still have my purple acrylic rocks which I’ll align the bottoms with. Florida may be humid, but the house is desert dry. Hell, our towels dry better in the house than outside in the dryer.

We also got a Swiffer subscription so we can get one box every three months. Some things are cheaper that way. I’ll soon be creating a K-cup subscription as well.

Lastly, I decided to buy the four golf courses I never got. He has them and I could play them with him, but this way I can play them when I’m by myself and have fun hunting for more lost balls.

On the way back after less than an hour on the beach. A storm rolled in. Love my new snorkel set, though, even if it leaks a bit. The water was gorgeous. No manatees, but I saw some of those striped fish like you see in Hawaii.

The water started off relatively calm, but the approaching storm kicked up the waves. They were still tiny compared to the beaches further south.

We practically had the whole beach to ourselves. There was just one couple off in the distance with a metal detector and a lady sitting somewhat nearby who left when we did.

We wouldn’t mind going back to the beach tomorrow, except the thunderstorm we’re having now is expected to go on all through tomorrow. It’s the middle of the afternoon yet looks like dawn or twilight. I had to turn the light on when using the VR headset.

If we had more money, a pedicure once a month would be nice since two toenails have lost their polish.

The hip pain I had for a few days in my left hip is better but damn would I take pain over anxiety any day! He had worse pain, though. So much so that it made him nauseous. His sciatica was really bad.

Stopped to charge as we were cutting it a bit close and he had to pee. So while we were at Baskin-Robbins we got some hash browns and bacon. I wanted avocado toast, but they were out of avocado spread. They’re always out of something. The bacon was fine, but the hash browns weren’t that great.

Yesterday morning we got breakfast sandwiches from Wendy’s and they were so good.

Pinpoint is a great new game that VZ added where you’re dropped into a random location and you have to guess where you are. You get five rounds daily. Knowing other languages helps, too.

Had a dream I was trapped in some kind of funny farm and called the termite of all people. I didn’t say anything when she picked up but she somehow knew it was me. Instead of saying anything mean, she said she was going to help get me out. Although I noted the fact that she still loved me, I had no desire to resume any kind of relationship with her.

I also had a dream that Tom and I were staying in the second house I grew up in and were thinking of buying it.