Can’t stop thinking about what I learned about Annette. How she managed to live all these years after her daughter and granddaughter were murdered in cold blood is absolutely and totally beyond me.

I can’t help but wonder if they’re in the afterlife somewhere at peace and waiting for their mother/grandmother or have they been reincarnated instead? Are they simply dead with no more awareness than the chair I sit in?

What will become of their killer when the animal’s time is up? Will he be tortured in eternal hell, something else, or nothing at all?

Besides being sad for Annette and her loss despite the many years that have passed since I’m more tired than I have been in days. The kind in which I don’t have the energy to exercise. I can’t seem to get out of Arkansas anyway, LOL. I keep riding and riding but the border just doesn’t get any closer. I think I’m finally down to about 35 miles to go. It’s going to be a few days before I reach Missouri, though.

I had no trouble falling asleep. I went through my usual routine of listening to my audiobook and then when I felt I could sleep I stopped Alexa from reading, had her play my favorite nature sound, turned on the air cleaner and the fan, turned onto my tummy, and drifted off. The problem was that I couldn’t stay asleep. I slept solid for a couple of hours and then I kept waking up constantly. What was worse was that I had a couple of hours in between where I couldn’t get back to sleep and when my sleep gets split up like that, it really leaves me exhausted the next day.

I wonder if the sleep issues, along with the fact that my weight is dropping again, could be that the medication is building up to be too much and that anxiety is next. I sure hope not!

My shoulder is still killing me. I first thought I slept on it wrong and then the next day it was better and figured that was it but it’s been over a week that it’s been bad. I think I injured it somehow.

I looked at my mood tracker stats for January and saw both good and bad. Despite being horribly tired today, I’ve had half as many tired days as I’ve had for quite a while. However, I’m off to a horrible start with the anxiety. I had roughly 26 days last year and I’m already up to 6 days so far this year.

When I was listening to my audiobook yesterday one of the characters decided not to buy a necklace with opals because they were supposed to bring bad luck. Curious about this, I did a little research and found that many believe this to be true. I try not to be superstitious but after my life was hell when living next to a huge cemetery, something which many claim brings bad luck also, I’m not as quick as I used to be to laugh things off as silly superstitions. Especially when I think of the opal ring I got in 2018 and the shit I went through even if it wasn’t as bad as 2014 and 2015.

What really struck me about this belief is the fact that Aly’s favorite gemstone was the opal and she loved the ring so much when I showed her a picture of it that she got one for herself. A few years later she died. Not willing to take even the slightest chance, ridiculous or not, I snatched the ring out of the box it was in and trashed it. Yes, the stone was beautiful as well as the fake diamonds nestled nearby but the band was cheap and becoming discolored. So not worth taking chances with.