WTF is it with the honker? He’s gone from not replying to my messages to not even bothering to read them. Why hasn’t he deleted me if he has a problem with me, and if that’s the case, what is the problem and why hasn’t he told me about it? Is it something I said on Facebook or has he found my journal and not liked what I’ve had to say about him? Did he dive curiously into my past and find something he didn’t like even though it’s pure bullshit? He wouldn’t know it was bullshit, though. That’s the thing about our society…quick to announce it when you’ve done something wrong or at least are accused of doing something wrong but not so quick to announce it when you’ve been vindicated. Whatever it is, it’s on him and he has a right to do his own thing.

The plasma site is still down which suggests that they’re not going to comply with the ransomware demands and are currently rebuilding their site. Tom says this can be done as quickly as in a week so hopefully he’ll be back to donating soon. If not, I’m going to have to take some of my earnings to make up for it rather than carry on with my plans.

LJ sent an e-mail showing me what stats I could get if I would only go premium and they claim I got 17 views yesterday. Why aren’t any of these supposed views showing up on my tracker?

I’ve slept on my new wonderful waterbed 2 times and both times I’ve had nightmares. The last one wasn’t nearly as bad as Tom being pretty sure he had a deadly blood disease. Instead, we were in the middle of the ocean in a shallow spot that only got up to our knees when the tide was high and became a huge sandbar when the tide was low. Somehow, we got stranded there and I was worried that it would be a while before we were discovered and rescued. I could see what appeared to be sharks swimming in the area.

Since we know my age isn’t a reason for me to have this much fatigue considering all the older people who are more active than I am, and since we know nothing is wrong with my heart and my TSH is under 10, I really do think sleep apnea is the main culprit. I thought back in my mind to when I first noticed myself having more fatigue but not crazy fatigue and I was up to about 146-148 pounds when it first became noticeable. It wasn’t until I hit about 157 that it got really bad. For a couple of years, I was in the low 160s and have been around 159 fairly consistently since getting my TSH down. The hunger that goes with dieting isn’t worth bettering my appearance but it would be worth it to get my energy back, and my weight is likely what’s made the sleep apnea enough of an issue to affect my sleep and energy levels. Therefore, if all I need to do is lose 13 pounds I’m gonna give it one more try even if 13 pounds is like 30 for someone like me. I’ll go down to the 1200 calories Rhonda recommended and hopefully, my body will get used to it and I’ll be able to add 100-200 calories if I can eventually get down to around the mid-140s.

Obviously, the culprit was never my mouth structure alone otherwise I would have had this problem all my life. I’m still going to discuss getting a mouthguard made by an ortho with Rhonda, but for now, I’m just not quite ready yet to accept that I’m going to spend the rest of my life tired even if it means I’d just get a whole new problem if I ever did manage to get my energy back.