I am so pissed off right now and so damn exhausted that I can’t write about everything that’s going on in this entry. I’ll just copy what I wrote in the car and carry on with it some other time.

We’re going to be under new management at the park soon. I hope whoever the new person is isn’t anything like Joy or Stacey.

Yesterday was a shitty day. Had to play phone for hours with the ENT office, Aetna, and even Rhonda’s. The ENT’s staff are completely incompetent and the concierge is as contradicting as ever. All they did was give us conflicting info and jerk us around like a yo-yo. Finally, we called Rhonda’s office and they said they had a physical copy of my referral. We’re on the way right now to pick up that copy. Worst case scenario, we have to pay out of pocket just like we’ve had to with other things we weren’t supposed to pay for. I figured there had to be a catch when I learned how cheap this insurance plan was!

Either way, I’m not leaving that ENT’s office till it’s cleaned. It needs it. Also, I’ll schedule the next appointment 4 months out instead of 6. That way when the games start again and they cancel me again, I’ve got a two-month cushion to reschedule.

I almost regretted moving here yesterday as the healthcare is just so fucked up here! So are the roads as we encountered yet another accident. Most of them happen in the middle of the street. There are medians with cutouts that cars dart across and there are tons of accidents in these spots. The SUV was turned on its side.

Slept horribly with a 2-hour gap in my sleep after having the third nightmare in a row. How did I go from not remembering my dreams to having a nightmare every night? As comfortable as this bed is, I just couldn’t get comfortable and was tossing and turning like crazy till I finally drifted back off. Now I get how Aly once said she couldn’t get comfortable at times and I suggested a new mattress yet she said hers was fine. The only problem with mine is that we had to add more water to the tubes. We added 8 cups per tube but we may still have to add more. We checked and didn’t find any leaks, so we’re guessing the tubes just stretched a bit. The things are surprisingly short in height. I pictured dome-shaped tubes with a flat rigid bottom but they’re shallow oblong tubes.

Tom’s sleep was also split up by 4 hours only his brain could actually function and he did $16 worth of work. I did $31 yesterday. If we each made $20 a day 5 days a week that would give us an extra $800 a month. The plasma place is open again too, so he may donate tomorrow.

Anyway, my stomach was all messed up due to the poor sleep. I doubt it’ll do me much good but I’m going to give the mouthguard another try soon.

Anyway, in this nightmare I had, I was in an adult version of Valleyhead, thanks to my parents who were alive. Everyone had their own room, though. I visited a woman’s room and liked the way she had it set up. I also seemed to know her well. She was on the ground floor and had a door open to the outside. It was cold, dark, and snowy, wherever it was.

Then we were all in a common area sitting in rows of benches. There were about 5 people on each bench and about 6 rows.

Just got the referral and nearly fell flat on my ass. I tripped on a bump in the sidewalk but because I’m so fat and so exhausted I had to run several steps to catch myself when I could normally catch myself in just a second. I really think I’m going to have to see a sleep specialist. This is just ridiculous. I don’t understand how Tom and others can get used to poor sleep.

Back to the dream. My father visited one time and asked why I didn’t take advantage of a certain grant I had and make a decent career for myself. Why didn’t I become a lawyer? he asked me, leaving me feeling worthless and not good enough and wishing I’d thought to ask him why he didn’t become a lawyer or get some “important” job like that himself.

As we were all sitting there, perhaps to watch a movie, I heard a really loud plane all of a sudden, and thought to myself, oh no, please tell me they don’t fly that low here! But then I looked out the window at the end of the long room and saw a plane heading right for us. I thought we were all dead for sure, but it plowed through the other side of the room.

I had a feeling this dream meant that it wasn’t going to be a good day, and it wasn’t. But I now know more than I did earlier and will write about it some other time. For now, I just have to hope to hell I don’t have a nightmare tonight, too.