Welcome to the United States of Fucktards where women love men and men love men. *eyeroll* Although, I’m guessing there wasn’t as much of a turnout which would be Biden’s fault because he did such a shitty job.

So I get up after midnight, take a quick glance at the headlines, and see everything played out just as I knew it would. That’s the shitty part of being psychic: you know right away when things aren’t going to work out and you have no room for hope. It isn’t just a psychic thing, though, it’s common sense. I've seen how twisted Americans are becoming. They hate women and gays and they love Trump so much that the little bastard could kill babies right in front of the country's noses, and they would still vote for him. So, like I said, I get up, and I see Trump wins this state, Trump wins that state. Trump wins. Trump wins. Trump wins. But again, I knew he would and I also knew most Floridians were anti-abortion. It’s a twisted trend we've been on where more and more people are brainwashed to believe it's murder. *sighs* At least there are still pills, DIY, and other states for the few that want it.

So Andy and the scum I live with and wish to desperately escape will be thrilled. At least the little closet case will pick on the illegals and staunch the flow of outsiders a bit.

People are getting more and more delusional that the next thing I know, I'm not going to be able to get the CPAP back (since I likely can't get the mouthguard I want), saying that I’m way God made me, and it would be a sin to try to change it. I'd say I hope the next bullet finds its mark, but if it weren’t Trump, it would just be some other Refucklican.

Very tired, first due to the long stretch and then broken-up sleep. I just can't win either way. Either I'm tired because I'm low on thyroid, or I'm tired because I'm not low on thyroid and up forever. Because whatever is cursing my sleep has no traffic to use against it, it has to use my own body. First, I did that snorting sound that is supposed to be a sign of sleep apnea and septum issues, along with that erratic hissing-like sound that the first pulmonologist demonstrated as a sign of sleep apnea, and then my shoulder hurt like a motherfucker.

Also, there’s no point in continuing with the snot spray because when I woke up and took off the breathing strip, my nose was barely breathable—it was so fucking stuffy.

I have never been so anxious to get the fuck out of Florida, and not because of politics. Unless I really do have septum issues, my nose definitely does NOT like this climate just because I do. If I have to go colder to get my nose back, then yeah, I'll make the trade-off.

I hate this park in general, the people, owning and renting at the same time, and being made to feel like a kid all over by being told what to do. I love the idea of eventually being able to save twice as much money, and maybe the state will have better healthcare, whatever it ends up being. Hurricane season is still a big concern, too. We're already into November and there's another one entering the Gulf, though it won't affect Florida.

He and I were talking yesterday, and while I will always hate cold and snow, I realize there are some benefits to those climates. As long as it doesn't get humid in the summer like the Northeast, it keeps things quieter outdoors and is better for sleeping and things like that. I wish I was climate-oblivious like he is. I don't remember a single motorcycle in Oregon. I'm willing to keep my mind open to all possibilities at this point. If it weren't so humid and expensive, Massachusetts would probably be the best state for us with its universal healthcare.

In other news, we went to Denny's yesterday and I got chicken strips and fries. He got an omelet.

Yesterday, I broke down in tears over my health issues. I took a nap, which gave me a bit of energy, and then I scrubbed the kitchen. But after just 20 to 30 minutes, it damned near knocked the wind out of me.

Today, my energy levels are a little better, though I’m still horribly stressed and feeling overwhelmed by my health issues.

I hate to say it, but if nothing can be done for my allergies in Florida, and if I ever have the energy to do so, maybe it’s time to consider moving back to a cooler place as long as it isn’t as cold as Oregon or Massachusetts. Maybe there’s somewhere similar to the last place with affordable land that isn’t a world away from civilization. It wouldn’t be as ideal as Florida’s climate, but it wouldn’t be extreme. I should have known this would happen, given I had similar issues with humidity in Massachusetts. They even told Termite Tammy to get the hell out of Florida. If she’s in Connecticut, as I suspect, I wonder how she can afford such an expensive state. I’m pretty sure her first mistake still lives there.

The more I think about it, the more I think Tom has a good point in wondering if my allergies might be affecting my breathing while I sleep. If they bother me while I’m awake, they’d certainly do the same while I’m sleeping—especially since I don’t open my mouth much when I sleep.

I also think it might be worth having my fatty tumor reevaluated. Galileo said it was harmless, but they wanted to check it a year later to see if it had grown. Well, it’s definitely much more than a year later. AI said that even the slightest change could affect hormone production and, therefore, energy levels.

My thyroid is definitely stabilizing because my weight is down. It’s been about a month since any skipped or missed doses, so it’s had time to build back up, especially since I wasn’t starting from scratch. That’s why I’m leaning more toward sleep apnea or CF as the culprit. There are some slow-growing cancers that take years to develop and could cause fatigue, but I just can’t see that as a possibility.

Right now, I just feel so fucking overwhelmed with trying to find the best health plan, picking out new doctors, going through all the paperwork, and trying to figure out what’s wrong with me—and how to treat it in a way that won’t make me feel worse.

Anyway, I was able to mop the kitchen floor with our new string mop, and it looks so much better. Fortunately, it didn’t knock the wind out of me either. The RoboVAC just doesn’t do a great job mopping so every now and then I have to do it myself to get at the stubborn spots.

He crashed early because he donated yesterday, which always makes him tired. So he’ll be up early, and we might go out to eat at Denny’s. I definitely need to get the fuck out of here.

I had a dream where I was holding dumbbells and marching briskly in place, realizing I could pick up my pace and go longer because I was getting into better shape. Too bad that’s not likely a premonition.

When I see writing prompts asking, “What would you tell your younger self?” I’d tell myself to appreciate the things you take for granted when you're young. When you’re young, you don’t realize how much you’ll miss having good health, good vision, a better memory, control over your weight, no gray hairs, and so much more.

On a personal note, I only got about five hours of sleep and am tired as usual. I managed some dusting, but the kitchen counters, appliances, and floors will have to wait till tomorrow. I don’t expect to have more energy, but I’m pacing myself. I don’t remember snoring last night, but I woke up with shoulder pain at one point.

I also had a dream where Tom and I were walking through what was supposed to be this park, though it looked different. We saw a cute little cottage nestled among rolling hills. I commented on how cute it was. Then we walked past an area that had been an empty lot, but they were now building the foundation for something. I told Tom, “I knew it wouldn’t stay empty forever.” I hope it’s not a sign that something’s going to be built behind us.

Then the dream shifted, and we were exiting a building that was a bit of an obstacle course to navigate. Tom got ahead of me and didn’t wait, so I worried I’d get lost with my shitty memory.

There were some gay-bashing jokes circulating in the park group. I read that you can report anonymously, so I flagged it to the group administration since it falls under politics, which isn’t allowed. It’s disturbing how many misogynistic, homophobic, and no doubt anti-semitic people live here.

Now that I think of it, I’m a little surprised the person would bash gays like that and laugh along with the others doing the same because I swear he was friends with Jim, the gay guy who moved to Brooksville. It still blows my mind though how many people support Trump and hate this totally harmless group that has done nothing in society but fight for equality. Everyone thinks they’re perverts or child molesters and I don’t see how 2 consenting adults of the same sex that love each other equates to either one. But so what if other groups have proven time after time to be a problem, right? Hell, I've been attracted to many women in my lifetime and have never once had the hots for anyone underaged. In fact, I've always preferred older women, even when I was younger.

Another shitty sleep. I really need to get some kind of sleep apnea device; this is getting ridiculous. No matter what position I slept in, I snored through my nose. I still suspect some of it might be related to my septum. If I can ever get into an ENT, maybe they can shed some light on it. I had other breathing issues too, and woke up feeling like I couldn’t suck in enough air.

I kept waking up either because my shoulder hurt, I was cold, or I had to get up and pee. I also had a few random dreams. One was of Andy, but it was too vague to recall much. In another, the mystery girl told me she likes blondes. I even dreamed about having a guinea pig and a couple of rats.

Anyway, I put away the laundry and cleaned the shower stall. I don’t know how much more energy I’ll have for cleaning tonight.

I also picked up a couple of plain white mugs from Walmart for about a dollar each since my other mugs are holding colored pencils now. I’m planning to get some paint pens to add a little color to the outside.

I love it when I, Miss Curious, get to learn new tidbits of info about someone I care about but don't communicate with. This entry will be semi-private in that it won't be on all the platforms I write on. Pretty sure she doesn't use Blogger but since it isn't anything personal, sensitive, identifying, or bad, I don't see the harm in mentioning it here. If she does see it and is bothered by it, I hope she'll find some way to let me know. I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable.

Where I used to be on PB multiple times a day, now I'm on every few days if even that. Rarely do I look at new profiles but I took a look tonight and wow, Fleetwood Mac? Really? :) I never would have guessed, especially for one so young. She and Andy would hit it off. Andy got me into them, even if I'll never be as into them as he is. He's been obsessed with them since the 70s. LOL. But I do like some of FM's songs, especially Sara and Gypsy. Used to play them on the keyboard together.

Andy met her a few times and knew her mother in Arizona. I have a pic of him with Stevie but can't share it because he asked me not to years ago when he gave it to me.

Why must life be so complicated? And why must it be so full of what you don’t want, with so much settling for second best? Unsurprisingly, I'm not going to be able to get Galileo back because they aren't partnered with any plans available to me right now. Their focus is mostly on the Northeast. They do have something called Teladoc, but I don’t know if I’ll go with them. You can use their services without insurance, but it’ll cost you. I just hate to get into something I like just to have to give it up in a year.

Tom realized that Florida has this scheme of putting out lots of low-cost plans every year only to jack up the price the next year, hoping people won’t notice or will stick with it out of convenience. The thought of combing through dozens of plans every single year, doing all that paperwork, and starting over with new doctors makes my head spin. But there might be some good in it. Before a PC could get too focused on hassling me about my thyroid, cholesterol, and blood pressure, I'd already be done with them. Plus, if I don’t like them, it’s only for a year.

I’m guessing I’m not getting that mouthguard. Why would I ever get what I actually want? Personally, I still think I have chronic fatigue. The best I can do is hope my A1C is down and try a CPAP again. Hopefully, I can get used to it, even though I don’t know if sleep apnea is a big factor in my fatigue. Until I can adjust to the device, I won’t know how much it contributes to it.

The weather is the only thing I like about Florida the more I think about it. Our lives are still so needlessly complicated and they shouldn't be for retirees. We can't control what health issues we get but the healthcare system shouldn't be so fucked up here or anywhere. It's like we're doomed to spend half of our lives doing health work and it will mostly be for nothing in the end because I still fear my fatigue is hopeless. No wonder it's so cheap here. The weather may be nice but the healthcare sucks, insurance of various kinds sucks, the people suck, etc. The only good and reliable doctor I have is the one I don't need...the glaucoma doc. I ain't going Hellen Keller! I may have a million other problems but I'm not going blind.