Oh, do I have an interesting story to share today!

Some of you don’t know me well, while others may have been following along. So, for a bit of background: I have four first cousins. Two of them, Lori and Lisa, are close to me in age—Lori’s a year older than me, and Lisa is a year younger. Decades ago, they decided they didn’t want anything to do with me, though I was never told why. To this day, all I can do is guess and speculate.

Maybe it’s because, in my younger, more mischievous days, I was connected to someone who made a few prank phone calls to their mom. It was nothing personal—just silly, immature stuff I did in my twenties. Or maybe it’s because I didn’t like their father, who could be very mean. Or it might be the lingering impression I’ve had that their father resented me because my mother, his sister, gave me several items when our grandparents passed away and he had a problem with that. If that was true, all they had to do was ask for anything they wanted, and I would’ve happily given it to them. I never asked for anything I was given by my mother. I simply accepted it because I thought it was the right and polite thing to do.

The surprising twist in all this? Lori’s daughter recently requested to add me on 23andMe. Now, I only go by my initials there, but I’m still surprised she didn’t know who I was as I thought her mother would be quick to bash me to her a long time ago.

When I accepted her request, I shared my side of things and explained that I see holding onto grudges all these years as pretty pointless. I don’t harbor any resentment toward Lori or Lisa; I’m just indifferent now.

I also told her about my bio. It’s been very therapeutic for me to write, I told her, and if it can help other survivors of abuse in any way, even better. I gave her the link if she wanted to learn more about the family and left it up to her—she can read it, or she doesn’t have to. The choice is entirely hers although I’m expecting to get blocked on 23 and me and for her not to have any interest in the bio. Like it or not, people do tend to hold grudges and be unforgiving and if they see their parents like that, they will usually follow in their footsteps.

So, yeah, definitely an interesting day so far!