I’ll try to write as much as I can about happy things, but right now I don’t feel too cool. I’m lonely, I guess, and the usual battle with smoking is driving me crazy. I feel I’ll never be able to quit, and my asthma and constant congestion are a nightmare! It’s really scaring me. Oh well. Whatever’s meant to be will be no matter what I do or don’t do.

Saturday I get paid and I’m swamped with fucking bills! There are things I need and want that I’ll never be able to get for a very long time.

Yes, I really do want to move to CT and get the fuck outa this city, but I’ll miss my friends and neighbors.

I had a really good session today with Martha. I’m starting to feel more comfortable with her, although I still miss Trisha. Martha sure is one hell of an attractive lady.