Yesterday I talked with Kim and Andy.

Kim sent me a letter with about 4 letters she got from Bob which were boring. No classic lines like the bunk bed incident. She read me Bob’s letter she got in response to the fantasy letter she wrote to him. She’s finally playing with his head. Bob totally fell for it and is on cloud 9. He asked her to tell him more fantasies and asked her sexual questions.

I don’t know if I wrote about the letter I’ll be sending him, but I’m going to be telling him that someone refusing to give me their name and tell me how they got my name and number called me. They say they have a relative who’s an inmate there who’s gonna bust his way into Bob’s pants.

Anyway, Tom went down on me last night and was in a fine mood when I got up. He even mentioned doing the yard and asked me if I could clear out the sink so he can bleach it, so we’ll see. He’s at the racetrack now with his parents. Before he left we both screwed and had oral sex. I won the bet as I knew I would.

Now, if we have sex regularly enough with no fights, I’ll fool him again and say I got my period a day or two sooner to see if I’m avoided mid-cycle. I don’t understand why he’d need to avoid me, though, since he won’t cum.

Last night before going down on me, he was in long enough to take care of himself, but not before sex today. He did go in right after to shower, so he probably got it out of his system then.

Last night I got to thinking. I said to myself, OK, the baby desires have been easier to deal with since our agreement, but it’s my brain! Therefore, I should be the one to control its thoughts and desires. I really wish I didn’t want to be a singer or have a kid, even in the smallest way. My life would then be so much easier and sex wouldn’t be frustrating. Don’t get me wrong, though, it’s still rather humiliating for him not to cum at least every other time to show me he’s pleased by me besides just saying he is.

I know I’ve painted a horrible picture of Tom over the last several journals, but believe me, other than his sex/baby games he’s a wonderful person. If he weren’t, I wouldn’t be here and the security and things he provides me with that I need or want wouldn’t matter.

Later...

Another dream has come true. I always wanted a typed journal. I mean with a cover and of this size, not the typed versions of my journals on full sheets of paper in binders. I keep calling the coyote journal a wolf, but it is a coyote. Anyway, that’s the spiral one I just got. Tom and I tried to set the margins properly, but he was on his way out. On his way out, though, he said, “You’re a smart girl. So, you figure it out, then you can teach me.”

I was like, “Me? Teach you something about the computer?” Well, I am proud to say that I did figure it out on a piece of paper I cut to the same size the pages are in that book. Then, I detached a piece that I typed up and put back in the book. It looks oh-so professional. As if I bought the book that way, and I can’t wait to show him.

Later...

Tom was quite impressed with the typed page I did in the coyote book. I’m gonna make a change, though. Instead of doing the remainder of the journals my parents sent next, I’m gonna type the coyote next, do the fish book, then the other two my parents sent (the dog & angel).

Tom says he should have our sex bet extended another month. I told him he’ll always need another month. He said things are starting to get so much better, though, that he feels it’ll be no problem. He’ll always say that, too.

I do feel, though, that things will be better between us and that’s what we both want. There’s really nothing left to fight about anyway. He knows how I feel and I know how he feels.

The day’s gotten even better since I last wrote. Tom won $300 at the racetrack! He filmed a few races, too. He didn’t film his parents or himself cuz he wanted to wait till I was there. I made a deal with him that I’d go with him once a year when the weather cools down.

Tomorrow we’re gonna go shopping for art supplies. He said he doesn’t want to get anything cuz the only thing he wants is too expensive.

Also, we got a letter today from a big company that distributes all kinds of software and shareware. What they say they may do is put the PrintBIG program on a disk with other programs. We won’t get any money for it, but we’ll get a free copy of this disk and more exposure. They’ll let us know after we sign an OK form.

I saw two paint shows this morning that I have saved on tape. The first one was of a woman using acrylic paints and painting roses and Santa. It really didn’t look too hard.

I really loved the second show even better. The guy’s name is Bob Ross who’s done this show for 11 years. He uses oil paints and in a half-hour, he painted this ugly, yet amazing and beautifully done winter scene.

I want to try oil painting so badly. We need to buy paints, brushes, poster boards, a palette, and an easel tomorrow.

Someone was next door earlier, but it was probably the Realtor and maybe a kid of his. Earlier there was cardboard up over all of the windows which is weird. Now the blinds are back up, but they’re shut.

Here we go again. I’ve got to compete with that damn TV while he insists there was no opportunity. He said his leg was stiff all day and that may be true, but God! I swear this guy has got the aches and pains of an 80-year-old. From what I remember, his leg didn’t get stiff till well after we returned from shopping and he could’ve initiated sex before that.