Today Tom will be home very late. After work, he’s gonna go pick up his mother and they’re both gonna go to the hospital.

If I’m OK, tomorrow’s the day I ovulate. I’ve heard all kinds of reports and some say you ovulate for 3 days and some say you ovulate for 1 day a month. I believe it’s more like 1. Anyway, my point is, is that even if he’d let himself cum tomorrow, there’s no way we’re gonna have the time. The guy’s gonna be very busy and surely beat.

On Sunday, the day he thinks I’m ovulating, I’ll just say something like I hope we can have fun today and I’ll wait and see if he approaches me or not. I still find it a hell of a coincidence that we’ve never screwed when I was mid-cycle during the whole time we’ve been together. Truthfully, though, I know it’s no coincidence. It’s all on upstairs. Why, though? All it has to do is keep controlling Tom’s brain into being afraid to cum. Don’t get me wrong, I believe Tom made his choice all by himself, but I still feel that upstairs is also greatly responsible for a large degree of who, what, and how we are.

The other morning when Tom went to put the birdseed in its container he said there were 11 pigeons lined up waiting to be fed. Not this morning. This morning there were 22 of them.

Last night we got slammed with tons of rain. It’s been nearly two months since it rained like that and it’s a miracle that my TV shows were recorded OK and that we didn’t lose the cable and the power altogether. There’s still one other movie that I taped that I’m still not sure how it came out.

I’m doing a new thing. Well, I have 6 blank videotapes available and I’m recording 36 episodes of Little House. They’re on twice a day Monday through Friday.

Later...

I worked on my story for the last 14 hours, so now I’ll update you on what else is going on. Tom got in around 7:00 and said that his Dad is really bad. We both still think he’ll be just fine, but his lungs are pretty filled up. Anyway, he’s gonna see him again tomorrow.

We had a nice discussion earlier. He’s finally agreed that it’s a waste of space to have shit around that he doesn’t use or want anymore. He also seems to want to be more organized, so we’re gonna go through each room over the weekend and see what we want to get rid of. He said if we’re gonna do it, we might as well do it right. I agree with that.

He also said again he’s eager to work towards the things we want, like the business, the singing and the family. I still think he’s full of hot air when it comes to the family, but that’s OK. We have enough to do.

Let me tell you about a couple of comments I made, though. One was when I said that I think we’ve had some things that we’ve been talking about wanting to do but have been too afraid to and I think we should just go for it and do it. His answer was that he agreed. Was that a confession, or did what I say go right over his head?

I also said that due to his worry over his Dad, I’d understand if we didn’t screw this weekend or have the time, but I’d hoped we could. He said yes, so that’s all I’ll say. I gave him the word and he knows, or he thinks, I should say, that I’m ovulating this weekend. Cuz even though I know it’s too late this month if he’d cum and if I were OK and if I still wanted one as much as I did, I still am curious to see how long this pattern will go on.

Well, I’m gonna go set the VCR to record the Little House episode that’s on in the morning, just in case I’m not up in time for it.