I have mucho updating to do, so I’ll get on with that now.

I amazingly didn’t hear the fuck next door today, so that’s nice and fine with me.

We got a wonderful addition to our family yesterday. Apparently, the lowlife, scummy trash of a family who makes a racket 24/7 had a black baby rabbit that’s about 7-8 weeks old. They didn’t want it, so they let it outside and it’s been hanging around Mom’s backyard for a few days. Yesterday, though, she let Mary pick her up and Nickolena had first dibs on her, as she does with everything, but David said no cuz he’s still getting over the loss of his dog. I hope they’ll get her a rabbit someday and am sure they will. If I could, I would, but who knows how long David will need to get over the loss of his dog. Everyone’s different.

Anyway, Mary called yesterday, saying she had the rabbit in a basket, but Tom wasn’t home. He stopped by there after work and called me to tell me he’d be bringing it home. So now we have a rabbit, too! Once I saw it was a girl bunny, I knew that Piggy would be OK with her as his roommate till she outgrows the cage. What I didn’t know was that Piggy would be thrilled and absolutely adore her. They get along great and when they curl up and sleep together, they’re so cute. Piggy lays his head on Bunny’s neck and Bunny’s so mellow, quiet, and calm compared to Piggy who’s a noisy, hyper little rascal. No way would I move Bunny out of there as Piggy would be really bummed. So, we’re gonna save up to build a bigger cage, since Bunny could jump out of this cage easily in no time at all. I guess you could say I formally named them Piggles and Blackie, but I just call them Piggy and Bunny. Piggy’s really been off my case, so to speak. He used to scream for me all the time, but now that he’s got Bunny, he doesn’t need me as much. Just to bring the food to them. If I were an animal, I’d rather have another animal around all the time too, and not a person. They still both like to be petted and to come out of their cage, but Bunny’s still getting to know us. She ate right away, which is good. They usually have no appetite for a few days in a new environment.

I finally have all my journal’s paragraphs capped, thanks to Tom’s macro and now all I have to do is proofread about 40 journals.

We went to the library last night and I’m happy to report that I got two John Saul books that I’ve never even heard of, so I’m happily reading those.

I’m also happy and shocked to say that tonight I cooked barbecue pork ribs and they came out great! My mom and sister probably wouldn’t believe I made them. I don’t like cooking, but I’m glad I’m learning. It’ll be cheaper, give me more confidence and I love to cook for the man I love. Makes me feel more of a wife.

I got the coffee coupons Andy had for me today. He sent that along with a 1-page wacky letter.

Last night I was a bit upset, but Tom and I talked it out and we understand where each other stands and are both willing to do whatever we as individuals or as a team need to do to help each other. I mentioned us having sex only a few times this month and he said he went from 100% sure to not sure if I’d get pregnant this month. Well, I figured as much. What else is new? Yes, I’m 100% sure I’m gonna get a period this month. I can feel the pre-cramps setting in and when people say they felt like they were gonna get their period, even though they’d just conceived, they were talking about water retention. If you feel pre-cramps, you’re getting your period. So, if it wasn’t a question of God getting in the way or sterility, then I can say that the first time we hit it too early and the second time we were too late.

Anyway, Tom mentioned our lack of sex was due to my being upset or having time-consuming things to do, and his implying it was my fault, hurt my feelings. Guess what goes around comes around, though, if you know what I mean. So, I was telling myself, regardless of God’s destiny for me, it was all my fault I’d be getting a period around the 25th and that if I just didn’t get so upset about Lisa’s situation, maybe things would be different. Then, I said to myself, no. It’s not your fault. You’ve only been upset that one day this month and you had a right to be. Also, I never told Tom we couldn’t have sex if I were upset and I don’t see why people can’t have sex, just cuz one of them or even both of them got upset earlier. Also, any of my time-consuming projects can be interrupted.

I know our schedules don’t always match up and that Tom’s got to work or do things here and there that need to be done, but I still think he sets too many rules and limitations on sex. He’s gotten better, though, at mixing sex with other things that go on in life, but I still don’t know for sure if he wants that kid really bad now. He may want to tease me with having it take longer, wait till after Evie has hers, want to instill patience in me or who knows what. There were still enough nights and mornings when we were both awake and could’ve easily made the time for it. So we discussed certain things that’d help make it easier for us. He needs to get more sleep and take that Slim-Fast for its vitamins so he has more energy and I need to help make sure he gets enough sleep in any way I can. I let him know, too, that my work can wait. I can’t do it all at once, anyway, and I don’t need to. There’s no hurry. So maybe, just maybe, God will change his mind, we’ll have sex more often and I’ll get pregnant within the next few months. I don’t have to remind you how often I’ve had my false promises and false hopes, so I don’t want to be all that positive and hopeful about it, but I’m trying not to be as negative and sure it won’t happen. It’s not easy, though. Even though he swears nothing’s my fault, I still feel it is and that I haven’t done my part to give us a child and am not good enough to yet. We’ll see, though. Maybe I can and will conceive one of these days. Like I said before, though, I just want to get the show on the road after all this time and if I can’t, I just want to get on with life and think about working somewhere, somehow.