He chose B. Talk about major fear and predictability! It’s amazing we’re even having sex more often, not that I expect it to last. Still, I’m not mentioning his not cumming. I’m gonna prove that he’s nothing but a liar, making one excuse after another. The reason he’s not cumming is cuz of him. It’s what he wants. Not what I, or anything else, is making him do. Nonetheless, having him the way he is is worth it, knowing I can never get pregnant. It’s a little extreme and I don’t know why a man would prefer to sacrifice cumming over getting on some form of contraceptive, but it works. I mean, I’d still never conceive if he came ten times a day, but it’s nice to know I have that added peace of mind and that God’s looking out for me, wanting me to have a life and be free.

When it comes to sleep and neighbors, well, that’s where God’s not looking out for me. Yeah, we had another visit from George, the guy who owns the ten acres behind us, and he left that same ominous feeling in the air that he left the first time around. I fell asleep at 1:00 and strange dreams woke me up at 6:00 and I couldn’t fall back asleep. At 9:00 or so, we were outside doing things. He was making a frame for his shed extension and I was painting the black wires at the sides of the house that connect the computers.

Then George came in. His sole purpose for visiting was to see if we’d offer him the right to share our well, but of course, we would never offer any such thing. He asked about the well and mentioned how good these two renters have been. I told him I was glad that things have been quiet with them. He told me he had to evict a Section 8 a few miles away cuz the lady was fighting with her husband and going out cussing up a storm. He hates to give up a Section 8, though. Great. Just great. So that confirms my worst fears and suspicions - subsidy is allowed out here. Also, if he hates to give up a Section 8, then all the more he’s gonna try harder to seek them out so he can stick them behind us, along with God’s help. Well, why not? The bangs have followed me out here (they’re just up in the sky this time), so why not the freeloaders, too? It’s like something up there wants my old life to follow me. I just can’t escape the past. Can’t escape worrying about being woken up, can’t escape subsidized, lazy assholes. Tom said, who cares if you get woke up a couple of times a week? Well, I’d rather not. Cuz then I just feel all yucky and am sluggish all day. I can’t always go back to sleep when I’m woken up, either. Tom also said, “So if rowdy subsidized people end up back there, the other renters will be likely to do something about them. It’ll be just like the old man’s house across the street in Phoenix.” Yeah, but that was still plenty close enough to hear their music and so are we. You know they’re gonna be home all day, blasting their music all day and all night, having a steady stream of company coming and going 24/7. And what do we do when the good renters move in a couple of years or so and get replaced with the same shitfucks so that all four lots can carry on and be heard 50 acres away? Tom doesn’t think they’ll ever be a problem or that the houses will have dozens of turnovers before George sells in 5-6 years like he said he’s going to, but then why do I have this gut feeling that spells t-r-o-u-b-l-e when it comes to behind us? It’s got to be for a reason. Another thing is that the wind usually travels from back to front. So that’ll enhance their noise as their antics are carried in on the wind.

I asked George when the other two houses will be arriving and he said sometime this year. Well, I meant it when I said that no neighbor ever again, especially a bunch of assholes that live off of my tax dollars only to turn around and shit on me for it, will fuck with me and disrupt my life till it’s basically ruined by nothing but stress and anger. I’ll be damned if more freeloaders are gonna live off of me while they fuck with my peace, sleep, and life, then run to the pigs crying racism cuz I had something to say about it, and expect it to end there. As soon as the subsidized blacks or Mexicans that I’ve run from find me and settle down behind me to repeat the same old shit they did in Phoenix at my expense, there’ll be no words from me. Not out of my mouth, not on paper, nowhere!

Old curses really do never go away. I still have to worry about when I sleep/get up, even though Tom says I shouldn’t worry about it. And now I have to worry about all the other shit I left in Phoenix finding me out here. And being this remote won’t stop them. They’re allowed to have cars. If you’re childless in subsidized apartments, that’s different. Then you can’t have anything and they won’t give you enough money to live on. If you’ve got kids, especially in a house, it’s a whole different story. They’ll give you the world in that case. You can have cars and enough money to live comfortably on, which makes these lazy Mexicans all the more determined to just sit on their asses, cuz they won’t be desperate to work since they won’t be starving in any way or hard up for bucks. Just look at that fat bitch in Phoenix. That takes an enormous amount of food which costs hundreds of dollars a month to make and keep a body that big. But the food stamps they gave me barely stretched through a month. If that Mexican bitch has about four kids, then she’d be getting about $2,400 a month. Almost twice what we have to work for which is $1,800! When I was on SSI they gave me barely $500 a month, but Paula’s getting over $1,000 all for having that kid. She can afford to pay market rent, bills, food, and car expenses, and she’s still got enough left over she doesn’t even need. I know God plans our destinies, but what the hell did he have in mind when it came to planning her life? Did he say, “Here, have a kid, beat the shit out of it, and I’ll make sure you’ve got more than enough money to live on so you never have to work?”

Anyway, there’s no sense in bitching about these freeloaders till they get here, and they will get here. What we’re gonna do as soon as we can get a fence up around the place. We didn’t have a fence or wall in Phoenix in front, so the filthy Mexicans’ trash could be thrown and blown into our yard easily. Not that they won’t deliberately dump shit over our fence, but this should help deter some of the trash they’re gonna bring in. Also, we’re sick of people being able to just drive up to the house. We want a remote-operated fence that no one can drive through without a remote. Lastly, once those freeloaders get here, the risk of getting burglarized is higher. Without a fence, they can just drive up to the house and load up, but it’d be a real pain in the ass with a fence. It would take forever to carry the shit out, even though there’d be 50 of them to help, cuz where there’s one Mexican there’s 50. They multiply like cockroaches.

I swear, we need to not only ban welfare, we need to give the freeloaders their own place to live. They just can’t get along with people. They just can’t productively mingle in society. They’re too destructive and downright mean. Not that there aren’t some pretty horrid white people, but still, if you put them all together so they have only each other to fuck over, they can’t cry racism and use that as a crutch or an excuse to do wrong.

Later...

We sanded down the guest room door so it can close normally now.

Tom came out and surprised me, although I don’t believe him for a minute. He said he’s gonna write a story, too. It’ll be science fiction and computer-related. I know he could write a story. He could probably write one way better than I ever could, but I can’t imagine him wanting to. I didn’t think writing was one of his favorite things to do or that he’d have the patience for it, given all the other things he likes to do. Or has to fix. I won’t count on it, but I hope he does. It’d be neat to write books together.

Later...

I asked Tom if he thought the Mexicans in Phoenix would suddenly change and become a bit nicer and more considerate if they suddenly owned the house. He said yes because that’s then affecting something of theirs. But why do they even have to be so loud, rude and selfish in the first place? Just because they rent? That’s no excuse to carry on the way they do, just because the house isn’t theirs. Why can’t they just get along with people and act like normal, civilized human beings, whether they rent or own?