Chambers is on now. She’s way cool. I was teasing her about writing her up and told her a couple more jokes. She told me some, too. I’ll write them in.

Two potatoes are standing on a street corner. How do you know which one’s a prostitute?

The one showing more skin.

Here’s one that’s great: A teacher asked her 1st-grade class how to spell the word ‘ear’. A bunch of hands went up and the teacher called upon Timmy.

“E-e-a-r,” he said.

The teacher told him he was wrong and called upon Susie.

“E-a-a-r,” she said.

The teacher told her she was wrong and called upon Johnny.

“E-a-r,” he said.

“Correct!” said the teacher. “Now put it in a sentence.”

Johnny pretended to take a hit off an imaginary joint and then said, “Ear,” as he made like he was passing it to someone.

Anyway. I was bitching to Chambers about the dual standards around here. The DOs can have all the shitty attitudes they want, but we get threatened with write-ups if we’re in a pissy-assed mood and we snap at them. (I feel like I’m reliving my childhood all over again! I’m back in Brattleboro and Valleyhead and I can’t get out!) She said she understood and she pulled me out of my dismal mood and got me laughing.

We even got to talking about my case and I was explaining to her why I was set up and all that. She was teasing me saying, “Yeah, you’re going to stalk me when you get out! I better watch out!”

I’m sure I’m not! I’d be willing to bet that a good 30% of these inmates are either completely innocent or here on trumped-up charges. Maybe more than that.

Jill was here earlier to see who wanted out and who didn’t.

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They canceled visitation today, but Felix was kind enough to let me call Tom. Felix said she heard it was because they were moving some inmates, and Tom said something about a mock nuclear disaster drill. It pisses me off that I didn’t get to see him today.

Tom also said his meeting went well and that he’s going to put it in a letter. Can’t wait to read about that!

I only had 5 minutes, so I told him to read my journals and that’d tell him what’s going on.

After being bullshitted by two DOs, I finally got new pants from Lamm who was on 3rd shift. She was really nice and it turned out that I didn’t have to stay up all night and be her worst nightmare like I thought I was going to have to be in order to get the fucking pants. She promised me the pants, and although I pointed out that most DOs seem to think that promises were meant to be broken, I said I’d give her the benefit of the doubt.

Hope, the girl with Teresa and Nancy, was crying quite a bit. The older lady in 5 returned from court smiling, yet when Myra asked her how it went in court she gave her a thumbs down.

Yeah, that’s how it usually goes in court.

Everyone’s pissed off about the new eating arrangement and grieving it too, as if they think that’ll change things back to the way it was. Myra said on the phone to her cousin to tell her mom they’re starving her daughter.

Have they forgotten that their daughter’s 300 pounds? She’s a long way away from starving!

I’m not grieving because I know it wouldn’t do me any good and that they’ll still give us the same old shit. We’re just going to get extras on the sides we get with dinner.

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It’s 9:00 now and we still haven’t had dinner. It’s been 13 hours since we were last fed. Naturally, the pig next door is fuming her ass off, but even I would appreciate it if they’d hurry up and get dinner here.

No wonder this psych case next door takes psych pills. She needs stronger doses, though! I just want to plug that mouth up with pads so bad!!! Every day, in between tissy fits, it’s laughing its ass off. How can someone in jail, looking at a zillion years in prison, laugh like that every day, and what the hell’s so fucking funny anyway? When she’s not bitching or crying, she’s laughing like this is all one big joke!

I wonder why they decided we should get 2,900 calories a day. Why such an odd number? That many calories a day is ridiculous. Especially for women.

Felix, the Spanish DO that’s on now, is really nice. Pretty too, but too big in the wrong direction.

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We had ostrich meat patties, corn, peas, carrots, lima beans, broccoli, bread, mashed potatoes and a donut. I couldn’t eat it all. Then afterward, we each got a huge serving of cookies and cream ice cream. I couldn’t eat all that, either.

Felix came in and searched earlier, taking the ripped pants and a big plastic bag for moving that I swiped from the dayroom.

That’s right. Just take, take and take from Jodi S.

It’s OK, though. I can use commissary bags to move my shit with. I don’t bother rolling up my sheet and blanket anymore. I just take the whole mattress because most of them around here are flatter than pancakes. Big 200+ pound people like Myra and Silvia crush them flat in no time. They really should get new mattresses every few months. God knows they have the money.

If Myra’s gained nearly 100 pounds here, imagine how much she’ll gain in prison! I hear prison food is better and that you get more variety.