Tom left a memo saying he’d be home by 10:00 PM, but now it’s coming up on 1:00. It seems I spend more time waiting for this man to come home than anything else. I don’t see much of him lately. He’s either at work or asleep. He was going to stop at his mother’s, then head on to work from there.

No, I don’t think he’s having an affair, not that I’d care as long as they used protection. You know Tom, though - nothing turns him on and everything turns him off. He’s just not big on sex any more than some of us are big on spicy foods, so no, I don’t think he’s getting it on with anyone.

The reason I wish he’d hurry up and get home is so he can go to sleep. That way, since I’ve been up since 9:30 (I missed my new show), we could go get Joy when the store first opens, and he could be well-rested.

Later…

Tom came in right as I was finishing my last sentence. He went to bed after telling me a funny story about Dave, and we’re still going to get Joy together tomorrow. We’ll leave at 7:45, stop at Circle K for a snack and some coffee, then get to the store when they open at 9:00.

Anyway, Dave received an email from a relative in New York and a picture of his sister Tammy. Dave was like, “You mean my cousin Tammy?” But as it would turn out, his father was whoring around on the side and so he’s got 4 siblings he never knew about.

I guess they thought it was me playing a joke on them at first cuz the sister supposedly sounds just like me. They’ve talked on the phone and sent an email back and forth.

Then Tom had to go and piss me off after I said I’d sic my sister Tammy’s local pigs on her if she called ma’s to get to me. He didn’t actually piss me off, but his attitude really irks me. He was like, “Why would you want to start trouble? You gotta disassociate yourself from people.”

But sometimes people won’t let us disassociate ourselves from them, and he of all people should know this. Not even moving can disassociate us from our enemies at times! I tried yet again to tell him that sometimes you just gotta fight back. We’re in the mess we’re in today because we didn’t. Instead, he just wants to bury his head in the sand, defend the perpetrators right after agreeing that what happened to me wasn’t fair, not fight back, and basically just kid himself about the whole thing. I’ll bet he did the same thing with his family as he did with Paula and made me out to be the villain.

What I wonder about Tom is when is it ever appropriate to fight back? We got taken by contractors for thousands and he let it go, I got thrown in jail and he’s gonna let that go, too. I know he is. He’s not gonna seek future revenge on anyone responsible for what happened to me. He just says that to try and make me feel better, then he says he won’t tell me what he has in mind cuz the less I know, the better off we’ll be. He isn’t gonna do shit to them. He simply isn’t the type. One of us could be paralyzed in a car accident that wasn’t our fault and he still wouldn’t fight back. Probably not even if I were killed. Wouldn’t do him any good anyway. God would only protect my murderer.

On the other hand, what good would it do me to call Tammy’s local pigs? It’s New England, remember? They’ll just tell me what they did when I tried that on Larry out of spite; that they’re so far away, so I shouldn’t worry. Then they might tell me they’ll call them just to get me off their backs, but I know they won’t. That’s just not Arizona where you can call up a pig, tell them so-and-so gave you a dirty look, and watch them go flying after them like a bat out of a hell.

It’s a family thing, I guess, as far as others fucking them over. They hope it doesn’t happen, but when it does they just live with it.

I can sort of understand, though. Meaning that if the freeloaders suddenly decided to call and threaten me, I wouldn’t “fight back.” I wouldn’t bother telling Scot and I certainly wouldn’t run to the pigs about it. What good would it do me and who would believe me anyway? I’m white.

We put the grille back up in the skylight to avoid some of the direct sun/heat.