Someone just blasted by. Anyway, I just saw Kate in a movie that was released this year. For a 55-year-old woman, she looks fantastic. Especially after all the cosmetic surgery, tummy tucks and starvation, she’s no doubt been through. Compared to 30 years ago, she looks awful.

Not surprisingly, I haven’t gotten any email from Mary.

Also not surprisingly, Tom and I haven’t gotten it on yet. He says he has to get the truck out of the way, which is true. After all, we’ve been having to get that damn truck out of the way since December now, but even so, I’m still convinced he isn’t any more interested than I am. If he was, he’d make the time for sex. This is just how he’s always been, though; a one-thing-at-a-time kind of guy, and there are always, always things going on with us. There are always projects and things that need to be done. I wasn’t kidding when I said that I expected nothing to be different about it this time around, which means that these projects are going to take precedence over sex. This weekend’s out as it is because he’s going to want to get working on the truck as soon as it’s light enough to do so and because he pretty much has always preferred sex at the end of the day. It was like he wanted to put it off till the last minute which made the predictability rather boring. There was never much spontaneity or variety and his putting everything else ahead of it was one of the biggest things that turned me off in the past. The biggest thing to come before sex was always the TV, of course.

If we do get it on, I’ll be proven right on something else I figured all along and that’s that what I say or don’t say pertaining to his not cumming does not affect whether or not he cums. Especially since it’ll be years since I’ve mentioned it. He used to try to tell me that my talking about his problem affected it and hindered him from cumming, but I always believed that to be untrue. I hate to say it, but my otherwise strong husband is a real wimp when it comes to this shit. So much so that he’s always tried to pin it on me when I knew all along I had nothing to do with it. The lack of protection may’ve affected it, yes, but nothing I said affected it. That much I always knew and still do. Even so, it’d always come back to me, in his mind. Somehow, I was always connected to it, so he’d tell me, be it something I’d do or say. He was never man enough to come out and admit he had a problem. Period. And that it was his problem and that if, and I repeat if, there was anyone to blame for it, that person could only be him. It’s either a physical problem or a mental one. If it’s mental, it’s likely due to fears of impregnating me. If it’s physical, like with those who can’t get hard in the first place, then it’s physical and only a doctor could tell him what to do for it, though I know he’d never have the guts to bring it up to a doctor.

Nonetheless, regardless of what’s caused by what and who influences it, it’s a good thing in this day and age that he doesn’t cum and is content to stay that way. If he’s happy, why make a gooey mess?

I couldn’t tough out the sneezing so I went back on the nasal spray. So far my nose hasn’t bled, so that’s good.

Here are my planting ideas for the fall. It’ll be rather costly, but a damn worthy investment. I want to replace the dead olies with new ones. Then, since there’s no one in front yet, I want to make a line of olies from the corner where the driveway is to about parallel with the shed (the metal one). That will up the value, give us a little more privacy and help keep some of their shit from blowing over.

Then I want to get a palm tree and put it by the bedroom where the tulip tree was supposed to be or maybe a little further out since they get so tall, figuring we’re not going to do anything at that side of the house since we decided to put the pool in back. If the date palm lives, it shouldn’t be blocked by any shaders cuz it’s next to the driveway.

Lastly, I want to get poplars for the front and back. We’ll replace the dead ones, then maybe add a couple more and extend the line on down towards the bedroom. In front, we can plant them from the rat’s graves to the driveway. Well, from the graves to the date palm, assuming it lives, or maybe put one sort of behind it. If the summer sun was in the position of the winter sun, it wouldn’t matter as it hits the house straight on, but we’re going to have to go as close to the driveway as we can cuz of the way the sun slants at an angle. And really close to the graves, too.

Fall of ’04, I’d like to olie most of the front and maybe pull the back line of olies towards next door, figuring that sooner or later there’ll be a house in front and a rental between the existing ones and Dan. I don’t think we’ll lose much privacy once a house exists towards the bedroom side. We’re never at that side of the house but to burn and water the olie. There’s a lot of dense brush there too, but we won’t know for sure till it gets there. I don’t vibe a house there anytime soon. I sense there’ll be one across the street before there’s one on that side, but I don’t know when. Probably by ‘05. Same with the fourth rental.