I’m up to 1206 points on Memolink. That’s because I won lotto points for the fifth time. That’s twice I won 25 points and 3 times I won 5.

I forgot to mention that in Mary’s last letter to me, she told me some things about José that got me confused. It had been my understanding that he was in for murder connected to a drug sale gone wrong, but now Mary’s saying he’s in for killing this guy that was trying to kill him. He was supposedly working as the guy’s handyman when he attacked him and José defended himself, but due to Florida’s lack of self-defense laws, he’s supposedly in for murder because of this guy. I don’t know what to believe, and truthfully, I’d be lying if I said I even cared. It’s Mary’s business, not mine.

She’s worried that going to prison will give her a bad label for life, though I think that just like me, she’s already pretty much labeled for life and labels don’t go away. I tried to assure her that I understood how easy it can be for one to fume over bullshit labels, but to try not to let them get her down. I know and understand how falsely they can represent someone, too. If I didn’t know her and was told of her charges – theft, assault, neglect, I’d think she was a cold-hearted bitch. But I know her and I know how twisted these so-called labels and charges really are.

Same with my case. If one didn’t know me and the nitty-gritty details of my case, they probably would think I picked on the sickos next to us in Phoenix without provocation and for no good reason other than their skin color. I admit I used race as a weapon in my journal entries when in fact the real issue was their antics and harassing us. It’s like a guy who rapes. It isn’t about sex for him, it’s about rage. Sex is simply the weapon of choice used to vent that rage. Well, it wasn’t the brightest thing for me to do, not knowing the laws out here, but see how sending journal entries with racial slurs made it look like they were the victims, along with the lies and exaggerations on both their part as well as the media’s? Just because I don’t like blacks doesn’t mean I see one and say to myself, “I’m gonna go pick on them cuz they’re black.” I simply try to ignore and avoid them. It’s just that these particular ones we had to live with wouldn’t allow me the privilege of doing so, and in a state that favors blacks and is anti-Jewish, it was easy to turn the tables and make things appear to be what they weren’t. My point? I understand her worries pertaining to labels.

With all the people out here on probation, I’m surprised I don’t see Scot drive by from time to time. I almost wish I would. That way I could smile to myself, knowing it isn’t me he’s coming to see.