Today we rode to the street on the other side of the canal to see if we could spot the dog that’s been horrible lately with its fucking barking, then figure out what to do about it. However, we never saw it if it was there because of the high stockade fence surrounding the place. We never even heard it, either, but yesterday it was barking like crazy, suggesting its owners were out of town over the 3-day weekend. You couldn’t even go 10 minutes without it going off. Since it can’t see any street activity, then I’d say my guess was right and that it’s going off because it’s being neglected, and so if its owners are there, it’s going to bark to try to get attention. Dogs need attention. Not to be stored outdoors like old pieces of furniture. This is definitely one of the biggest differences between East and West, however. In the east dogs are considered pets that are part of the family, but out here, they’re mostly used as guard dogs, and to hell with how annoyed the neighbors may be. Either way, I’d like very much to put this old, neglected piece of furniture out of its misery, but I don’t see any way to get at it. I guess not only is God going to protect any people who wrong me from having to pay for doing so, but he’s also going to protect any dogs that drive me crazy as well!

After scouting out where the dog lives, we went to Safeway, then came back. The bike rides so smoothly uphill. The bike I had as a kid could never ride that well. I’d be peddling furiously, though you still have to do that to get up these steep hills even on modern bikes. I was just thinking that I hadn’t gotten enough of a workout when we reached this street which is uphill coming back. By then I was panting quite heavily and my heart was thumping wildly.

Exercise may not cause weight loss, but it sure helps to keep from gaining. I’ve been having 1500-2000 calories a day lately, but have been the same old 124 pounds for a while now. Riding is so much more fun than walking. It’s going to really suck when it not only gets cold again but snowy and icy. I’d rather ride in 110-degree temps before I rode in the wintertime here!

May is going to end up being my worst month for wins since going premium. I hope it only means I’ll be compensated with a biggie soon!

I can’t say I’m depressed, but for the millionth time, I have to ask why the simplest of things are so hard to achieve. All I want is to own a 1400-1600-square-foot new or fairly new house in a warm climate where the only music and animals (except for the wildlife) that we hear are ours. That’s all I want in life. Is this really too much to ask for? I feel like it is even though it seems like it shouldn’t be. But as Tom said, he’s come to hate the job because it’s obviously going nowhere. There’s no hope for a partnership, no hope for more of a raise, and certainly no hope for me to ever be insured. As much as I’d still hate to go to a doctor without something like a broken neck or close to it, having the insurance, both dental and physical, would be more comforting. He said he feels all the more motivated to get out of here because he’s at a dead-end at work, and is trying harder and harder to win money at the tracks. As I reminded him, however, my dreams aren’t allowed to come true, so whatever’s up there is going to do everything and anything it can to block us from getting to California. While it seems silly to say this since this is the fourth state I’ve lived in, we just may be forever trapped in Oregon! As long as we wouldn’t lose our stuff I wouldn’t mind being put out for a while in order to make the move, but instead I feel like we’re going to be nothing but city renters, forever dreaming of the impossible until we’re eligible to live in a retirement community. Of course by then the fucking stereos will be so damn loud that they’ll be able to reach the centers of even the largest of senior communities. Another 5-10 years and these things will be smashing windows on a regular basis and people still won’t do shit about them! It’s all the more important, as we both know, to make sure we have more than enough money if we ever can bust out of here since we’ll have no one to help us along the way. You know no one gives a shit about us, and if they do, they don’t have the means to help us.

For now, I’m going to enjoy having money since we so rarely get to have any! Having a field day with all the shopping I’ve been doing could very well be a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity so I’m enjoying it while it lasts. I may even give it up once I get all the things on my list if that’s what it’ll take to get us out of here. I’ve been spending $200 a month. As for how many more winters I’ll have to suffer through here – I don’t want to know. I really don’t. I’m afraid if I knew the answer to that one I’d scream!