Sometimes I wonder, did we do the right thing by calling my folks and not killing ourselves that night? Oh, I’d still prefer to live and so would he. But where we want to, not where fate says we have to. Yet I’ve been stuck in places I didn’t want to be in since I was 15 years old, so I don’t see this changing anytime soon. Just like we all have certain physical traits, both good and bad, I think we all have certain life traits too, also good and bad. I’ve definitely been cursed when it comes to sex, sleep, noise, and being stuck where I don’t want to be.

After not having anyone on the end for one wonderful week, we’ve now got someone slamming in and out of there. No one’s been on the other side for a few days, but I’m sure that’ll all change soon enough, too. I hear more inside movement from that room because its closet area, dresser, table and cabinets are by the dividing wall, but I don’t know what’s worse – hearing inside scuffling that goes on and on that annoys me rather than wakes me up, or the doors slamming less often that does wake me up.

Tom had a frustrating setback with the horses this afternoon but is now just 2-3 hours from knowing how much longer we’ll be stuck here. He got tired, though, and needed to hit the sack since he’s got to get up so early. I’ve been saying that I wish he could make a copy of himself just like you can make copies of MP3s. If he could copy himself, he’d have had it done a long time ago so one copy could stay back and work on the horses. This still doesn’t mean this may not be just another tease on us, but we’d at least have a better idea of it by now if he’d had more time.

Now they’re talking about not starting second shift till next year which tells me they’re really not all that serious and are all talk and no action. If the horses could just work out, though, then he won’t need to be there long enough to find out for sure!

So for a while longer, we’ll be “unsentenced inmates” stuck in this room anywhere from a couple of weeks to forever. We just don’t know.

Meanwhile, he got an idea that sounded appealing, but that could also take forever. That’s the problem, though. If God really does care about us, then why must everything take so long if they even happen at all? Why can’t anything come fast and easy for us?

His idea was to get an RV. My first thought, upon remembering Gert, as I called the old piece of shit we went to Oregon in, was NO WAY! It’s like living on a full-wave waterbed. Just the slightest movement on his part and I’m vibrated wide awake when trying to sleep. But then Tom said to get that $1500 piece of shit out of my head. He’s talking about one that might cost 10 grand or more, but this way I wouldn’t have to worry about us losing it since we’d own it outright, and we could move it if it got noisy wherever we were at the moment. It’d be an alternative to spending a few months to a year in a rocking complex while we waited to be able to buy a place. Then, as soon as we bought land, we could move it onto it while we had something built.

I really like this idea better than a motel/apartment/duplex, but I don’t know if it’ll ever happen. The problem is that it could take many months to buy an RV, and I still believe something up there is trying to hold us back and wants to keep us where we don’t want to be, so it’s hard to be very hopeful. I think it’ll be either here or in an apartment. Maybe the best we could do would be a duplex so we’d only have to listen to the neighbors and not so much outside activity as well.

I wish that if we couldn’t be rich at least Jessie could be. If she could give us 10 grand to get something now, there’s no reason we couldn’t give her a grand a month, and that’s the least we could give her. If things did pick up, we could pay more. But that way we’d be dealing with someone we knew and trusted.

For now, though, we have to hope to hell that truck passes emissions tomorrow!