Wednesday, October 29, 2008

According to Lisa, yes, she did at least get the chance to mention our names to my mom, so yes, it is something personal, though I haven’t a clue as to what it could possibly be and I’m not sure I even care anymore. I’m still not sure why they bothered saving us if they knew they didn’t want anything to do with us, but I’m glad we’re making sure that we don’t ever need saving again because they’re the last ones I’d turn to. No hard feelings, though, as strange as the whole thing is. They have a right not to want to associate with me just like I have a right not to associate with whomever I choose not to associate with. It’s better to ignore each other than not to do so and do nothing but fight.

I apologized to Lisa for my mother’s rudeness, and have kept in mind that these are people that caused me all kinds of pain and misery. I would never have a friend or a lover like that, so why should I allow anyone else to treat me the way they have just because they’re blood?

And of course I’m sure it’s all my mother’s doing and that dad is simply going along with her even if he disagrees with her. He never did have a backbone of his own. I tell you, she could’ve killed one of us as kids and he’d still follow her like a faithful puppy, always quick to obey, agree and defend the all-mighty Dureen.

I can’t help but wonder where someone like Charlotte stands as far as this shit’s concerned. I mean, surely my mom has told her she refused a prize we tried to transfer to them without even finding out what it was. Did Char tell her she should’ve at least found out what it was? Call her mean, rude and ungrateful? Or is she patting her on the back and saying, “Good move, Doe.”

My guess would be that she’s going along with her. You kind of have to if you want to be a friend of Doe’s.

How wrong Tom was when he said it was probably important to them to have me back in their lives because of how old they are now. Well, like I said, it really is all for the better. They just better hope that if Larry hasn’t dumped them again, Tammy hasn’t either, because I won’t be there for them in the end. I doubt Tammy would ever dump them, though. She likes having abusive people in her life.

So it was a waste of time editing the few entries that I edited on MD because they’re not going there and neither is Tammy. If they didn’t want to hear about their prize, then why would they want to read my letter? So I’ll get on with my life, uncensored and uncaring as far as what I write. As I always did say, don’t like it? Don’t read it!

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