I have been lazy all weekend. Or at least I feel like I have been. I did decide, after all, not to worry about working much during the weekend. There is not only not as much work to be done at that time, but why not work Monday through Friday like most people do? I don’t have to work 7 days a week, do I? 

Next week I will get back in sync, not that I’ve necessarily fallen out of it. I’ll get the house cleaned thoroughly and get more work done. I’m only about $50 away from my goal of $150. 

I waited till almost midnight to go out riding. It was 82°. That would’ve been too warm for running, but was fine for biking since you’re gliding through the air so much faster. This winter’s gonna be a bitch! Sailing through the air at 3-4 MPH is one thing, but 8-10 is another. 

Heard strange sounds after 1am. I guess some animal got under the house. Hopefully, it’s not in the walls or vents, but I doubt it. What was strange was that I swear I heard something fall in the laundry room. Everything was fine when I checked it, and I doubt Tom would’ve been up dropping things. Is the house haunted all of a sudden? The other day I stepped out of the bedroom and Tom said, “You were in there? I thought I heard the back door close.” 

I’m also not happy that the “panel bees” are back. In less than a week I’ve looked up to find two of those bastards in the kitchen light panels. I’m glad they were both deader than dead, but they shouldn’t be getting in here in the first place. 

Poor Nane. She not only returned to cold, rainy weather but she and Askim broke up. I’m guessing this time it’s for good, though for her sake I hope not. 

Last night I had what seems to be a common dream for me lately. Tom and I were renting some old dump and were preparing to move to another old dump. The landlord was an older guy, but it wasn’t Jesse. The three of us were standing in what appeared to be a bedroom. First Tom said something about seeing a spider somewhere and I told him to kill it. Then he slipped the key to the place off his key ring and handed it to the landlord. 

“You have a key too, right?” 

I said I did and started to pull it off my own keyring. He said he’d “help me get it off later.” 

I started packing shit again and looked out the window right in front of me. It was raining pretty steadily. I looked at Tom and said, “We won’t be able to see the rain this well in the new place.” The windows in the new place were to be up rather high. 

Later… 

Although I didn’t get up till late in the afternoon, I’ve had a very frustrating day so far. The only good in it is that the anxiety is helping me lose more weight and the car won’t cost as much as we thought. He was expecting to pay a mechanic $400 - $600 to fix it, but they said it’d cost $1700. Tom said that was too much so he’ll buy the parts and fix it himself. At least they isolated the exact cylinder when running diagnostics testing on it. The parts will cost around $200 and it should take him two hours to fix it. He’s going to fix it here because it’s not like having the hood of the thing open for a while is going to attract any attention. He won’t have parts and shit scattered all over the place or anything like that. 

At around 6:30 pm I turned the kitchen light on to see if any more bees were present in the drop-down ceiling panels, and not only was there one in the kitchen window, but just over my head were half a dozen bees smiling down at me. 

Fortunately, Tom was here and is about a foot taller than me. He could lift a corner of one of the panels and spray the shit out of the area. He went to get some expandable foam spray from the workshop to seal around the edges of the pipe vent, but one was ancient and another was clogged. So now he had to decide which broken car to use to go get some more. He chose the old Ford and it amazingly brought him to and from the store! That car is awesome considering it has a busted radiator, busted AC and a few other ailments. As I told him, if there are any more Caddy problems all too soon, it’s outa here. I’d rather an old car with a shit stereo and a dead AC that’s reliable than a faulty luxury car. It’s too soon to say whether or not the Cad’s gonna give us more trouble than it should or not. Fords are awesome. Our next non-lux car will definitely be a Ford. 

Anyway, my brave and intelligent hubby sealed the pipe vents, saying that being bit by a fly hurts worse than being stung by bees. Well, the bee I last got stung by in Maricopa didn’t tickle. It burned like hell but after 10 minutes I’d never know I was stung. Didn’t know flies could bite, though. 

Anyway, 90 years old or not the people that last lived here were not only very lazy people, but they withheld info from us along with the inspectors we paid hundreds of dollars to. The gap we found couldn't have appeared the day we moved in. The last owners had to have known about it and I’m sure they had problems with bees as well. And how the hell did the inspectors miss it? 

I will write about my other problem later. 

Later… 

As for my other problem of the day, well, I get a notification that I have an update at the health site. So I log in and even though it’s the 30th, the last thing is dated the 28th. On the 26th and 28th, which I just noticed today, the doctor said all was normal with my pap except for vaginal flora, so I need to schedule a biopsy. Right away my mind’s spinning with questions – what the hell is vaginal flora? Why am I learning of this now? Why are there no visible updates on the same day I get a notification? Why is a biopsy necessary on top of an ultrasound? Why can’t they just call in a prescription for either antibiotics or a cream? WHEN’S IT EVER GOING TO END??? 

I have gone from poverty to medically cursed in a sense. It sure seems that way at times. We all have problems as we age, but I’m 48, not 78. I know that most of what I have is common and easy enough to deal with and that my health has been neglected for many years due to being uninsured, but still, who needs the hassle? I’m about ready to throw in the towel and say, “fuck it.” Enough is enough! Especially since I’m not in pain and I’m not dealing with anything deadly. It’s just a bacteria of sorts, from what I had to research on my own since the doctor didn’t explain it to me. Every time I think I’m nearing the last of my appointments, new ones have to be made. I am still having burning and itching at times, so I guess I gotta deal with it. If I don’t there’ll just be something else. :(

Circled the perimeters on my bike in 18 minutes. It probably would’ve taken 15 if it weren’t for the speed bumps. The flashlight didn’t do much good as far as lighting them up. Fortunately, I know where most of them are. They should cut grooves on the sides where car wheels don’t go just for bikers. 

Speed bumps or not, biking is sooo much more fun than running. Not only is there not as much joint impact, but the type of clothes and shoes don’t matter as much and I love how I can put the smartphone in the basket with the music going which I can just about hear well enough. I don’t like loud music when working out and I don’t care for earbuds much either. 

Our motion sensor light is worthless, too. I turn it on when I’m on my way out and can see just fine when getting my bike out from in front of the storeroom, but when I come back it’s too dark to see me so it doesn’t light up. 

Made up some Bertolli lobster ravioli that you heat up in a skillet and damn is it good! I even cut a piece of ravioli in thirds to share with the rats. I’m sure they loved it. It’s a bit pricey, though. I ate half of it and would love to have the other half before bed, but even with a working metabolism (or the medication to make my body at least think it works), I still have to put effort into not overeating. 

Andy’s neighbors moved. The ones that just had a baby that he was tired of hearing cry for hours at a time. He’ll miss them but not the brat, he said. I hope he doesn’t get anything worse in there! Meanwhile, he can enjoy the time it’s empty.

Happy 57th to Tom, even if he’s gotta spend it playing fix it. 

The troll was nosing in LiveJournal the day after I made it public. She spent 3 minutes going through the calendar no doubt looking for her name. Again, it was never about what was going on with me, but about her. I won’t give her that satisfaction, though. I will go private again, however, if she starts coming around more. What’s going on with me should be none of her concern. 

I’m really amazed she hasn’t mentioned Alison and I in her blog, but I can thank Brad, Josh and Julie for that. They’re her latest obsession. If it wasn’t for them and Marbridge, nothing would change as far as her coming around constantly and whining about how we abandoned her in her own blog, and trying to “figure out why when she’s been so nice to us.” *rolls eyes* Yeah, well, she can’t figure out why no one’s talking to her on Thoughts. Like, gee, maybe it’s because you’re batshit crazy and you don’t even know it. But that’s what makes crazy crazy; when it doesn’t know it’s crazy. 

In between constant complaints, Crazy still talks of saving up and running up to Iowa to be with Josh. I hope she does and that this time he kills her. 

Later… 

Welcome back, metabolism! I've missed you. I'm glad the levothyroxine convinced you to return. Now my body can start looking like it's SUPPOSED to look when you eat healthy and exercise. Because of you I can once again pick things up off the floor in a split second, climb up pool ladders with ease, run up walls, fly over buildings... JK about the last two! 

When I first tried K-cups I loved them. But after time I’ve gotten sick of the mess they can make even when you poke holes in their tops to let the pressure out, and the way it’s easy to sometimes overestimate the amount of water needed depending on the varying sizes of my mugs. So I’ve decided to go back to Instant, which is cheaper anyway, and got an electric kettle. It was the same cost as a stovetop kettle and is better to use during hot weather. It’s to be over 100° next week. 

I’ve had knee pain for a few days now and finally took something for it. I probably shouldn’t but will probably go out riding after dark. Around midnight or so. That way the streets will be pretty dead and I can really test out the bike light. 

When it’s hot, like yesterday, I just go round and round the circle not just for exercise but to keep my color going. I don’t like to go far from home in the heat in case it gets to me. It’s a good thing I stayed close by yesterday cuz my heart was booming. Exerting myself in the heat can do that to me unless I’m swimming. 

Tom’s having a semi-relaxing 57th birthday. He had to run some errands earlier and pick a place to get the car serviced. He found a place about a mile and a half away that has 60 reviews and nothing under 4 stars. He decided they’d be cheaper than a Cadillac dealer, though it would still cost $400 - $600. It will be worth it, though, as he said, to invest in something good rather than an old piece of junk. It’s like spending a few grand on carpet for this place vs. Jesse’s old trailer. The parts will be under warranty for a couple of years, too. 

He went to a Walmart close by that he rarely goes to, and all cylinders fired just fine and rode well till he got there. Coming back, though, that cylinder misfired, so now he knows it has to do with it getting all hot inside. 

Since it doesn’t cost much, he decided to rent a car while it’s being worked on rather than trust the old Ford. If it were winter he would trust it just fine. But because it’s summer, the radiator is more likely to leak. 

He’s spending most of the day relaxing and enjoying sweet treats. 

I welcomed my nieces to their new home, and as usual, I got nothing in return. One of them thanked me, but neither of them reached out to me on their own. No messages, no “likes,” no comments. Perhaps it’s time to stop giving a shit about those that don’t give a shit about me as I usually try to do anyway, not that I don’t wish them well. 

It’s a shame the cock that fathered them is still well enough to drive. Maybe it’s not that sick after all? Either way, the girls aren’t staying with the piece of shit, but with other relatives instead. I guess one will go to the cock’s mother while the other will go to the cock’s sister. Then they will have to get jobs before they can apply for an apartment, which I’m assuming will be together not only to save money but because they’re probably never going to have BFs due to how huge they are.

My day was initially off to a good start when I found online that my TSH levels were now within a normal range. 

Then Tom got a message to call my endo’s office and was told that they couldn’t give him any information cuz he didn’t sign some paper. He’s my husband and they can’t give him any info? *rolls eyes* So then I call the nurse and she tells me the same thing I read online. Then the nurse calls back again to say that the doctor asked if I felt that I felt better and should stay at the 75 mcg I’m on now, or if I’d like her to up me to 100 mcg. Even though 100 would probably help me even more with losing weight, I don’t want to get jittery or lose any more hair, so I’ll just see where my weight’s at when I see her in the fall. Yeah, that’s another reason she called; I have to see her on October 16th and have blood drawn the week before. Meanwhile, my weight’s down a few pounds, but I won’t know for another month just how much my metabolism might be improving or not. 

So there I am feeling a bit frustrated that I have to add yet another appointment to my growing list of appointments, and then Tom gets home to report that the Caddy already has a problem. It started running rough on the way home. 

Ugh! I will NOT let God tear down all we worked so hard to build up. I will NOT! Tom assures me all is fine and that it can be dealt with easily enough, though. One of the 8 cylinders won’t fire, a common problem in vehicles. It should be cheaper to fix than restoring the old Ford and that’s not counting its dead AC.

Got an update at the health site, but am no closer to finding out what type of female problem I have going on. They told me what I don’t have, but not what I do have. So what’s wrong down there? I guess I have to wait till the rest of the test results come in. 

Was up for 19 hours yesterday and slept for 8 hours. Got up at 2pm and headed for the lab an hour later. At first I couldn’t figure out why this little girl of about 7 or 8 was crying on and off like a 6-month-old, but she was obviously terrified to have blood drawn, even though she’d been through it before. When they finally took her in she SCREAMED like nothing I’d ever heard before. You would literally think someone was killing her. My mother would’ve kicked the crap out of me for carrying on like that, but of course the 60s and 70s were a lot different. 

The black chick did a better job than the Asian chick I saw today, though she was nice. She was just a little slow and she bruised my arm. 

We’re now signed up for this thing that lets you do video chats at any time of day or night with live doctors. Can’t imagine we’ll need it (I hope not) but it’s nice to know it’s there and that I can consult with a doctor in just a few minutes or less.

This entry might gross some people out, just to warn you up front. Unfortunately, Tom and Andy were wrong and I was right, regarding today’s female exam. Andy said he “had a good feeling about it,” and Tom thought they’d probably tell me the itching and burning I’ve been having was just part of my age, and that my pap would be too bloody to read. Turns out, though, that they can now read paps even during periods. I guess a lot has changed in the 15 years since my last pap. As for the burning and itching, she could see the irritation down there right away as well as the discharge I didn’t even know I had. The exam itself was very uncomfortable but tolerable. Boy, was my heart racing at one point! My initial BP was through the roof at 144 over whatever and I told the nurse she could do it again after the exam when I would be calmer, and it was then 124/80 or something like that. 

Both my weight and height are down. Guess we really do shrink with age. I’m four ten and a half. No wonder I can’t reach shit. 

Anyway, I wasn’t surprised at what she found. We know our bodies better than anyone else and my intuition is usually right on. No one wakes up itching whether they’re 48 or 28. So I knew it wasn’t normal in any way. It’s definitely not warts, though, and I’m hoping it’s just a stupid infection that can be cleared up with a round of antibiotics. 

Here’s what did surprise me. She couldn’t feel my uterus. That’s a first. I may be fat but I’m also fit so maybe the years of building up muscle from working my abs is the issue. She said it could be, but couldn’t tell if anything was cancerous until the lab runs the cultures, of course. I’ve never heard of cancer-causing discharges and irritation, though. Because the DES my chances of cervical cancer are a bit higher, though I haven’t any dreams to suggest serious trouble is amiss, which is something I almost always have. 

The only “cancerous dream,” I had was talking to someone about someone else’s cancer. Something about leaving a Valleyhead-like place I’d been in for years too, and realizing Kathy was next door late one night and wanting to wake her up on my way out for being such a shit. 

Meanwhile, they want to do an ultrasound on my uterus. *sighs with frustration* When are the appointments ever going to end, I wonder? It’s at the same place that did my thyroid ultrasound that I have to return to in September. Tomorrow, though, it’s off to the vampire for a TSH level check. 

Sometimes I wonder if something up there is punishing me for finally getting what I want in life or if this would’ve happened anyway. Everything I’ve got has been festering long before we moved in here, after all, especially the thyroid thing. Thyroids don’t fail overnight. 

Andy was right to tell me not to let that one bad review the physician’s assistant I saw had, pointing out that the mop he loves for his business has tons of lousy reviews while he feels it’s the best one ever. She was very friendly, took her time with me, and didn’t make me wait forever. 

Later… 

Tom’s going to sign us up for this thing that lets you do video visits with your doctor so you don’t always have to go in and see them in person. 

In the lobby of the medical building, they had the same stickers I have in the bedroom by the bathroom. Gotta laugh at how much this house has become a realtor’s nightmare, haha. I’m sure they’d tell us to get the stickers off the wall and white out some of the crazy colors. 

Speaking of stickers, my tall purple flowers arrived today and all that’s left for now are the semi-tall purple flowers. There were 3 large flowers and a bunch of mini flowers. I thought it would look kind of crowded if I put all the little flowers around the big flowers, so I put some along the base of the shower stall in the master bath. I’ll add them to the second bath tomorrow. 

We treated ourselves afterward at the grocery store and I splurged on candy and hot Chinese food. The rice is good but the fried chicken was dull. 

I also got a beautiful pink and purple wind chime with shiny silver accents that was on sale for just $7. 

We went to the pool yesterday and it was gorgeous. The air and water temps were perfect and not a single brat was in sight. Just a couple of old guys. Love the feeling of that hot sun and then instantly cooling off as soon as I jump in the pool. 

Been watching a series called Flashpoint on Amazon Prime. Think I’ll go watch an episode or two before I get into bed.

Made $10 in 7 minutes on the Turk yesterday. Wish I could do that more often! 

It’s been a very quiet day today so far even though I didn’t get up till almost 11am. The only intrusive sound I’ve heard so far is the loud car at the yellow house, but that’s fine because they only go out once a day. 

Could be in for landscapers at the gray house unless they hit the place before I got up. 

The closer my female exam gets the more nervous I become. Finding what I found last night didn’t help either. I got an email notification reminding me of the appointment and finally decided to run the doc’s name and see what turned up. She has one 1-star review. Ugh. The person gave her 1 star for everything and said they had to wait over 45 minutes to see her. Why does my primary doc keep referring me to shitty docs, or are there just that many out there? Don’t they even care how they get rated? Then again, if I made as much money as they do I suppose I wouldn’t give a shit either way. I hope it’s just one person who had a bad experience with her, but if most people had good ones, where are all their positive reviews? Hopefully, she’ll be like my endo doc. She also has a few single-star reviews and while she wasn’t the friendliest, she didn’t make me wait long, she spent enough time with me, and she seemed to be pretty thorough. 

Hoping Tom will be up to a swim when he gets in. It’s the perfect weather for it and since it is a weekday there shouldn’t be any kids at the pool, assuming people know they’re not supposed to be there after 1:00 anyway.

Last night I visited my sister and the girls in my dreams, but they were all still living in Connecticut. Sarah was over 6 feet tall, LOL. I was standing on a step somewhere and commenting on how she was still a lot taller than me. 

Back in 2000, Tom started getting chest pains so he went to the doctor to get it checked out. He was diagnosed with exercise-induced asthma. I just looked up its symptoms and I don't have the other symptoms that go with that. Tom does, though. I don't cough, wheeze or get short of breath or feel out of shape despite being in good physical condition. 

I had a little discomfort after today’s workout but am pretty sure it’s not heart-related. This time it was on the right side, lasted longer and didn’t feel sharp and cramp-like. I will sometimes feel it if I move a certain way so that’s got to be a pulled muscle. 

Someone just drove by playing their music a bit too loud. *sighs* I thought we were done with that shit? Well, if I see that car regularly, I will be headed down the street. I’m not going to tolerate that shit here. I swear I’m not. And I don’t care what kind of connections they may have either. 

Anyway, before my train of thought was rudely disrupted, I was going to say that Tammy said that Larry did have heart problems. I didn’t know this. Not sure how serious it was, though, or if he was on medication. I guess that answers my question as to whether or not his heart would have gotten him in the end if the liver cancer hadn’t. 

My weight is strange but inconclusive. Meaning that the 4 pounds I lose during the weeks after periods that started to come back are back off again, and while it’s a little unusual for me to be this low 11 days before a period, it’s not enough to assume the meds have boosted my metabolism back up to normal. I need another 2-4 weeks to know for sure, what, if anything, is going on. 

Later… 

Fucking mother-fucking blacks! Everywhere we go. EVERYWHERE! I saw a black car with music blasting head down the circle and said to myself, “Bet it’s black and going to where the blacks live. Sure enough, a few hours later it blasted back out and I saw the blackie with my own two eyes. So it’s no longer an assumption, knowing how loud, rude and obnoxious the vast majority of them are. Oh, but please don’t tell anyone I said so! Wouldn’t want to be called a racist even though the problem is THEM and not their color. 

I tried to tell myself, who cares? It’s no louder than a delivery truck, so why does it bother you? Because it’s rude, that’s why. It’s not only a reminder of the shit I went through in the past, it’s wrong. Just plain wrong, unnecessary and uncalled for. Just because granny may be too deaf to hear it, well, I can. And it’s just one more rude and needless distraction, so that’s why it bugs me. I shouldn’t have to know it every time this punk visits just because he’s got security issues and doesn’t feel it’s getting enough attention in life. 

But like it or not, he is black and this isn’t the 50s. I can’t just go complain and risk them crying discrimination on me, knowing damn well that they’ll be the ones to automatically be believed, and then things could get worse for me. They take things so damn personally and act like the most simple, reasonable request is utterly rude, unfair and downright outlandish. I can’t take a chance. I know I shouldn’t give a shit what they cry and I know this isn’t Phoenix, they’re not welfare bums, and even if they’re friends with every pig on the local force, they probably wouldn’t spite me for complaining. Worst case it just wouldn’t do me any good. Blacks are some of the most defiant fuckers on earth. Push them left and they tug right. 

If they were white I’d go directly to them, but I wonder if I should either leave a note on their door late at night instead simply saying: Please ask your visitor in the black car not to play music so loud upon coming and going. 

I’m not sending a letter by mail. I’m not going to pay to ask them to do the right thing. We lost enough money to the blacks of the ’90s. 

Why would these shits want to live here anyway in a place that’s predominately white and that’s supposed to represent peace and quiet, which means respecting your neighbors and having your company do the same. Really, it’s their company so shouldn’t they be responsible for them? 

My only other concern with leaving a note is them going door to door to try to find out who left it. I wouldn’t want Tom to know, should they come by when he was home. Retirement community or not, older and non-welfare or not, they’re likely to get pissed, not understanding. 

*sighs* I’m just so sick of getting Mexicans and blacks on every city street I ever lived on, and yes, it’s because of their BEHAVIOR. I shouldn’t give a shit what others think or how people are going to handle things and take a stand for what I know is right, but for now, I guess I’ll just be glad the fucker doesn’t live here and doesn’t come around every day. Really wish others would speak up too, for once, but maybe they did and their request fell upon deaf ears… unless I anonymously complained to the office. Really, I should NOT have to be dealing with this shit in a retirement community!

Last night I dreamed my mother was going off on me in a VM for saying something nasty to Tammy in a VM, though I don’t know what either of us said. It seemed to be connected to some legal case Tammy had going on with her. 

Then I spoke 3 languages in 1 dream. I was talking to Nane and her father. I don’t remember what we said in German, but for some reason, I asked her dad if she’d ever been to California… in Spanish. 

Was surprised to find myself down a pound when I got up. Oh, so you mean all I have to do is eat a whole bag of candy and an entire box of breadsticks and I’ll be down the next day? LOL, guess this week’s Saturday junk day paid off. 

We waited till just after 1pm to go to the pool. Kids aren’t allowed after then. Sure enough, what should we find there but a couple of young boys. They did leave shortly afterward, though, and while mommy didn’t give a damn, granny at least had the decency to tell it to stop bouncing its ball before they all left. I would have turned around and left myself if she hadn’t. I came here to escape this shit, not to have to live with it. 

Then what should happen next? Oh, just someone else bringing their grandbrat to the pool with its mother, another young boy. But they were new there so they probably didn’t know the pool rules. Hell, I didn’t even get them at first. I thought the pool opened at 6am along with the clubhouse, but it actually opens at 8:30. Still, I wish most people here were in their 40s and 50s instead of their 70s and 80s when more people had kids. One closer to Tom’s and my age is a lot less likely to have had kids. Thank goodness for the women and work movement even if it came a bit too late and it means I have to be insulted at times for having the nerve to work at home. 

If the things could act civilized without the screaming and splashing, I wouldn’t give a damn. But with so many of them acting like wild animals that are beyond loud and obnoxious, it doesn’t make for a pleasant swim. Since the first two grandbrats left shortly after we arrived and the last grandbrat arrived as we were leaving, it wasn’t too bad. The pool was a bit chilly, but it felt so nice to relax in the water with the pool noodle, and then soak up some sun as I was letting myself dry. I forgot just how draining the sun is, though, and had to fight the urge to take a nap afterward so as not to screw up my schedule for Wednesday’s appointment. Poor Tom got sunburned, haha. 

The pool was a lot cleaner than it was the last time I was in it, though there were a few bees in it. 

Later… 

One of my followers liked my bike so much she got the exact same one. Cool! 

Romeo is a little devil at times, which goes to show once again just how smart rats are. They’re not allowed in the laundry room. I hadn’t shut the laundry room door just yet after letting them out when he was just about to cross the threshold into that room. I could see his tail. I hurried over to him and he quickly doubled back and ran back into the living room when he heard me coming, LOL. He knew he was going out of bounds. 

Got some things done around the house today. Tom blew some leaves off the patio in front and rearranged things in the carport. Then we squared off the bed’s platform and touched up the paint in the bedroom. 

That’s pretty much it. No questionable chest pains, no neighborhood racket, no nothing. 

It’s too early to get in bed and start reading till I crash, so I’m not sure what I’m going to do now. I could do a little more online work, make up some drafts by coding future entries, or I could find something to watch. Maybe I’ll even proofread some old stuff.

Another weird dream last night. It was late at night and I was with someone shopping at a store somewhere. Next door there was a high-end beauty store of some kind that they left unlocked. I walked over to it and was amazed at some of the insane prices on the tubes of lipstick and other items. I carried a tube of mascara back to the store, held it up to the person I was with, and said, “That doesn’t say a dollar.” 

It was really a thousand dollars. I then returned the thousand-dollar mascara and walked back with the bike I now led with one hand while I carried my purchases with the other. I wished the bike had a basket so I could get back faster. 

In real life, a woman who was out walking her dog said, “That looks like fun,” when I rode by on my bike the other day. She wants one just like mine. 

The Hispanic girl who came to the door with her power wash special did not return. We figured she wouldn’t. Tom and I have come to suspect she probably really was looking for work. These homes, like most homes, have deadbolts on the doors. To break in they’d have to kick doors or windows in and that would make a ton of racket in a retirement community where most people are home all day. 

We finished assembling the dresser Thursday evening and it’s so nice to have a nice, new modern dresser that I chose and that no one else used before! 

Applying the lavender flowers and leaves took some time because it had so many pieces. My first thought, as I applied the first stem, was that it’d look totally ridiculous. But the more of it I applied, the better it looked. I’m happy with the way it came out. 

Tom got a couple of 50-foot hoses for watering. He said he’d rather not use the underground system cuz too much water goes where he doesn’t want it to go. 

He also got a couple of pool noodles too, a blue one for him and a pink one for me. People often bring pool noodles to the pool, so we figured we could, too. 

Later… 

Not sure I should mention this in public as I just don’t want people getting the wrong idea and thinking I’m either just trying to get attention or worry people unnecessarily if it turns out it’s no big deal. I assure you I’m anything but hard up for attention, and it probably really isn’t any big deal. 

Well, I sometimes get pain in the left side of my chest, particularly after workouts. I didn’t think much of it, but then when I had a sharp stabbing cramp-like feeling yesterday, I did some online research that says it could be angina, which my dad had. It described the exact cramp-like feeling I sometimes get, along with this burning, aching feeling I also sometimes get. 

Tom was concerned because that’s usually a precursor to a heart attack and I jokingly said, “Maybe you will be right and I will die first. Just remember to post to my Facebook wall letting people know what happened.” 

Seriously, though, if I had to guess, it’s no big deal. I know I could be wrong, but unless it gets to be a regular thing and starts interfering with my life, I see no point in worrying about it now. I may mention it the next time I see my doctor, though. 

Not only does Andy think I’ll live to get old, but I’ve always believed Tom will die first (probably in his 80s). On the other hand, I did have a nagging feeling that something up there would “punish” me, so to speak, for finally getting what I wanted in life and that’s a home of our own. For now, I will start logging any time I feel anything suspicious and see if any pattern emerges. It’s one of those things where you usually don’t know what’s going on or have much warning until it’s too late. I don’t see what going to a doctor about it now would accomplish or that I’d even need additional medication. Statin drugs usually help with that sort of thing and that’s what I’m already on. Again, frequency and severity are what matters at this point and what I’ll be aware of and keep track of. I worked out earlier and was fine afterward. 

No left arm pain or numbness/tingling in my hands, but the article I read mentioned that neck pain I sometimes get. Because I’ve only felt that on the side my bad ear is on, I figured that was probably due to the inner ear clogging up like it sometimes does, but who knows? As always, I’m going to just keep on living my life. Hell, a meteorite could fall from the sky and kill me right now. Until I’m actually dead, I’m not going to worry about anything unless I’m in pain or unable to do things as I normally do them. But I’ll be paying closer attention to those strange aches and pains.

Molly updated her blog today. The question was too early for Kim (assuming there was no delay in the notification) and yet Molly shouldn’t know what’s up with me. So I don’t know what to think, but it seems likely it was connected to one of the sickos. 

Went out riding at just after 10am. It was 75° and sunny. It should be a good way to keep my color going, especially on my arms. 

Last night’s dreams went from sad to strange. Norma, myself, and some other woman we both seemed to know for a long time were all in the hospital. I don’t know what Norma and I were in for, but the other woman died of a heart attack and Norma was just devastated. I tried to console her so she wouldn’t get sick herself. 

Everything is ok with her, but ironically enough I had some chest pains earlier today. I’m almost sure they were from working out since I had my heart listened to a couple of months ago. I’ve had this type of pain before. Sometimes it’s a burning, achy sort of feeling, other times it’s a sharp cramp. 

In another dream, I had stayed at a hotel with Jessie. She and I suddenly got word that we had to leave and head to the airport. I immediately went to pack, but it seemed like there was so much to pack and the more I packed, the more shit there was that needed to be packed. 

So I ran out of the room and to a nearby store. I was going to ask the lady at the register for some garbage bags to throw things in, but she was busy with customers and I didn’t want to miss the plane. So I returned to the room and decided what to take and what to leave behind since there was no way I could pack it all up in time for our flight.

I am completely and utterly baffled right now. How do you ask someone a question on an account they have deactivated? 

I got up this morning, stumbled over to my computer, and saw I had an email notification from my original ask.fm account saying that an anonymous person asked how old I was when I learned to ride a bike. My first thought was: I thought I deactivated that account again months ago! 

But then I figured maybe I did but it didn’t go through or something. But sure enough, when I went to that account it was in fact deactivated. 

Had it not been for someone asking a question on my deactivated Formspring account several months ago I'd think someone hacked in, asked the question, then put my account back to sleep. But because some stranger with a real account also asked a question on Formspring, I think it truly is a glitch. Meaning, it probably was a real person who really asked that last night, but I think a glitch is what enabled them to do so as opposed to being hacked. 

It’s ironic that they asked about bikes when I just got one. Like maybe it was someone who’s been reading my journal? Do I smell Kim in that one or not? I’d hate to think this nutjob could STILL be following me, but if it was Molly then why hasn’t she updated her blog? Just after 5am her time is a bit early for her, and in her last entry, she was ranting that her mother’s trying to get her off Facebook and to shut down her blogs. Why doesn’t the bitch just take her damn laptop or phone away! 

Ok, I just figured it out. It is a definite glitch and not that anyone hacked me. I looked in on that account from the one I use with Andy, and sure enough, it’s perfectly visible. I’m going to just ignore the question in case it is Kim, and I think it is. I’m also going to remember that it’s very important not to mention her or Molly in my blog and give them what they want, even though no amount of time or lack of mentioning them is going to shake them totally and permanently. Remember, Kim isn’t able to tell fact from fiction. She’s not thinking, “Let's contact this person that doesn’t want anything to do with me and that I fucked over.” In her mind, we’re either best buds or I’m the one harassing her. 

I wonder, though, does she know of my Prosebox account? My other Ask account? And what if I mention High Street on my page? LOL 

I was glad to hear from Aly yesterday just when I was beginning to think she had yet another new problem. I guess she’s still recovering but is not ready to work yet or drive too far. 

Later… 

Just when I thought I was done falling offline, my connection hiccupped for a few minutes yesterday. I guess this is normal for at least most people. Anything’s better than what we had to deal with in Auburn. 

Last night I was plagued with nightmares all night long. Something about him being laid off and us about to lose the house. 

Uh-uh. No fucking way! We lost one home and two parcels of land. We don’t leave here till we either grow old and die, or we choose to leave. 

For two people who are used to these types of projects, it’s amazing how long it’s taking us to assemble the dresser. Part of the reason we only got two drawers assembled yesterday was that he worked OT and we both got up early. 

Sure enough, even though I’ve been sticking to my diet and exercise plan, the weight is slowly returning. When am I going to learn that I’m never going to lose weight no matter what medication they give me? Ever. On the bright side… I might as well eat when I’m hungry. :) 

Later… 

I hear a knock on the back door, go to answer it, and a Hispanic female who was perhaps in her 20s says they're doing a special on power wash or something like that. I told her I was not interested and that soliciting isn't allowed here. She says she's sorry and tells me to have a nice day, goes and gets into a car in front of the house driven by a white guy, drives around the block, then leaves WITHOUT stopping at any other house. The guy was eying the house intently too, as he drove away. 

Naturally, my first thoughts go to those who tormented me in Arizona. But if any corrupt cop was going to pull any shit, wouldn't they come to the FRONT door, and wouldn't they ask my name to verify my identity? 

Hopefully, they weren't casing the place with home invasions in mind. The woman even waved goodbye to me when she got into the car. I was standing at the front window not thinking I could be seen cuz it's lighter outside than in here, but that's ok. IDK, both home invasion and soliciting doesn't make sense. Given the position the car was in and the layout of the circle, why not try the next house? Why drive around the circle and leave? 

Later… 

Now wondering if the bike question could've come from Molly given that she's an early riser and Kim's not, as even Aly suggested. Last Aly knew, Kim often stayed up till 2am. 

But why didn't Molly update her blog while she was at it if that was her, or did Mommy Dearest kick her out of Bloggyville? Besides, Molly isn’t supposed to be able to read my blog unless she’s occasionally disabling cookies or having someone else read it for her.         

There’s also a possibility that the notification was delayed. If Kim sent the question before bed, the notification might’ve been emailed an hour later. Things don’t always happen right away, though when I did log into the account the question did say it was asked around the time the email was sent. 

Aly’s guess is that it was random, though also safe to assume it was someone who both reads my blog AND knows about Ask.

Last night I had a dream I was in a fairly decent size building of some kind and a couple of guys were determined to kidnap me and take me to Hawaii with them because they were sure I could speak Hawaiian. I tried to tell them that I only knew “aloha” and “mahalo,” but they kept tugging me by the wrist. 

I was screaming for Tom and for me to at least be able to say goodbye and let him know where I was going if I had no choice. Not sure if they managed to kidnap me or not in the end. 

I’m listening to some relaxing meditation music on Amazon Prime Music right now. I usually find this sort of thing boring as opposed to relaxing, but the song I’m playing now is both relaxing and pretty. It’s from the Tibetan Chakra album. 

It’s been very quiet here today. No landscapers, no coming and going next door. 

Yesterday we managed to assemble half of the dresser in 2½ hours. We’ll do the drawers later on today, depending on how much OT he does. I can’t wait to set it up! First I’ll have to apply the decals that are going behind it, stemming up close to the ceiling. 

Ok, I’m sick of this New Age stuff now. Time to dive back into the Pop section. Is it me, or does it seem there isn’t much new in the way of music these days? It’s like people are putting out fewer songs/albums. 

Later… 

A rather attractive young lady told me that her mother is like me in that she doesn’t believe in prayer. Then she told me she prayed to God to get this guy she likes to take her offer of getting together, but didn’t get the job she prayed for. Then she asked me what I think. Here’s what I told her: 

I’ve seen what you look like. If that’s really you, then why would any red-blooded straight man NOT take your offer? You asked me what I think? I think that’s a rather easy prayer. Funny, though, how people believe in God when they get what they want from Him and they still believe even when they don’t. Why is He still such a great guy when you don’t get what you ask for? Oh, because “He had his reasons?” Well, you can tell yourself that if that’s what you want to believe, but as far as I’m concerned, if prayer was for real we’d get EVERYTHING we asked for and not just some things. But the fact that we do at least appear to get some things granted and some things not granted is proof enough for me that it’s all about fate and what’s meant to be vs. what isn’t, and not about some God picking and choosing what things we ask for to go ahead and give us. Not saying there isn’t a God. Truthfully, I don’t know if there is a God or not. That’s why I’m agnostic and not atheist. But prayer? Come on! If I pray for the sun to set and rise is that God “answering my prayer?” Ok, to each their own and all that but sometimes I find it rather sad that people can brainwash themselves so easily or be brainwashed by the religious fanatics of this world. They’re only kidding themselves in the end. On the other hand, if it’s something that makes you happy then go ahead and believe what you want so long as you don’t force your beliefs down the throats of others. I actually worry more about those kinds of people than what people actually believe. 

Lastly, and again this is because YOU asked, I could never lower myself to turn to the very being that allowed me to be abused the way I was in the past. We teach women to have enough self-respect for themselves not to turn to abusers or abuse enablers, so why shouldn’t I give any possible God up there that’s supposed to be all-knowing and all-powerful the same treatment? 

You can tell yourself God loves everyone equally when evidence shows otherwise. You can tell yourself God is good while innocent people are dying in an earthquake. You can tell yourself He loves YOU when you’re robbed, in a car wreck, or diagnosed with cancer. But… you can never escape reality. THAT’S what I think. 

Later… 

Ok, I’ve officially killed my original my-diary account. Every 1000 entries I’ll delete the old account and create another like I did today. This is because it starts running slower than slow the more entries you have. 

For the 'about me' section I simply put it like it is: I write from the heart whether my words are “politically correct” or not.

Wish I had something interesting to update on, but I don’t at the moment. I’ve now lost 4 pounds and am expecting my dresser to be delivered today. 

Other than that, all is quiet and all I’ve heard are the landscapers and next door, of course. Hopefully, the rest of the day will be peaceful. 

I did today’s housework (dusting/master bath) and the usual things I do. Waiting for the robot to finish vacuuming the bedroom for me. 

My days start off full of energy and then I am hit with fatigue. The lack of food from the diet? 

Later… 

My new dresser finally arrived – yay! The FedEx lady left it in the carport. Tom will carry it in when he gets home. It’s super heavy. I could probably get it in here myself, but he asked me – practically begged me – not to attempt to carry it in unless it was in multiple boxes. It’s just in one, though, as I expected would be the case. 

It can wait out there until he gets home in a couple of hours and we can assemble it together then. Those things are always easier with two people. It still would’ve been nice to have gotten it last Friday, but this works out better. My schedule is better for it and today was the robot’s scheduled vacuuming day. It’s nice to vacuum an area that is about to be covered with something. The carpet looked so lovely afterward that I almost didn’t want to walk on it, LOL. The other carpet was so old and worn that you’d never know it was just vacuumed. 

For now, I’m just glad this isn’t south-central Phoenix! The dresser would be gone in no time. 

UPS brought me one of the floral wall stickers I’ve been waiting on, too. 

Called (Tina?) to check on the exact date and time of the August dentist appointment I at least thought I had, but she couldn’t find anything scheduled. We made one for the 26th at 5pm. So if all goes well with my pap, I shouldn’t have any appointments for July. Still gotta see the eye specialist, though, at some point, but we thought it would be best to wait until they got my medication adjusted.

Last night I dreamed that I was flying in a helicopter or a small plane. I don’t know who was flying it, who I was with, or where we were going. We passed over a canyon at some point. Grinning, my mischievous side came out and I visualized it suddenly filled with everyone who ever pissed me off and then taking a giant cup of water and filling the canyon with it. 

Sounds like next door’s getting their AC worked on from what I can hear and see. Again, I’m glad these people are muttless and don’t have a ton of company, and kudos to them for being so healthy and active so late in life, but I really wish the 3-4 trips in and out each day except for Sundays could slow down a bit. 

While it saves us money, we’ve been having a cool spell and it makes my morning bike rides chilly. It’s still pleasant once I get going. Unfortunately, I won’t be able to beat the pedestrians much longer. 

Making better money online doing mostly surveys and I’m not sure if it’s because there are more surveys or I have developed better strategies for finding them. Probably both. I’m into erotic sculptures these days so my next goodie is going to cost $150 with shipping and tax. Less than a month and I’ll easily have the money. 

My collection has really changed throughout the years. It started with mostly porcelains and Barbies. Then it stopped for about 5 years due to being broke and not having room to put them. Now I’m more into vinyl and erotic dolls/sculptures. I’ve always been into the realistic look, though. I don’t care for anything cartoonish-looking. I have a handful of erotic pieces in my Amazon cart ranging from $25 to over $100.

Happy 20th anniversary to us!!! :))) No matter how many crushes I may have along the way on other women – and a few guys – there is only one Tom! 

That one Tom and I are going out soon, so I’ll make this brief. I hate long entries anyway. 

Tom fixed my ankle bracelet for me yesterday (ain’t he sweet) and he read an interesting study they did that shows that rats have regrets. 

Things are great here and the only pisser is that my new dresser that was supposed to be delivered Friday isn’t coming till Tuesday. 

Later… 

In last night’s dreams, I was inspecting these dolls some people were hoping I’d purchase. They started off as being life-size but headless male dolls. They were very heavy but I was still able to lift them. 

“The benefit of working out… muscle,” I said to a young girl who stood by watching me. She smiled shyly. 

I said something about almost buying one, but then I moved on to inspect female headless dolls with Tom that were about 20” long. Tom pointed out that one had these strange marks on her but I told him they weren’t marks, they were part of a tattoo she had. Next thing I know the doll with the tattoos turns into a rat. 

Got some blueberry lip balm, some scented body sprays, a pink and purple mini wind spinner, and some candy at Walgreens earlier. We blew our diets today. After all, you only have a 20th anniversary once. Well, most people do anyway. We also got some light bulbs that should nearly outlive us. 

On the way back Tom turns up the music and starts bopping his head to the beat. I was cracking up. “Did you ever think we’d be blasting music in a Caddy in Cali 20 years later?” I asked him. 

We still should’ve skipped Oregon and California and gone straight to Florida. 

Once back at the house, we enjoyed some sweets, then went bike riding. For some reason, I thought both bikes had 24” wheels, but nope. My old one’s a 26”. No wonder it was so fast, high, and scary for one as short as me. I’d rather my new 24” that struggles to get uphill but doesn’t get up to insane speeds going downhill like the other one will on the slightest decline. 

Tom trimmed the hell out of the Cypress trees yesterday and saw Bob get dropped off with a golf caddy in hand. I swear these people in their 80s have the energy of one in their 20s, though it does seem that only Bob is active. They both come and go the same amount in the SUV, but I’ve never seen his wife walk, bike ride or do anything physical. Maybe her weight or some health issues are a factor in that. 

On Tuesday Tom will be going to a sports park with coworkers. Hopefully, the food and activities will be good, and he’s even more hopeful he’ll win something this time around in their raffles. 

In other news, Tammy was ill after having to wait a few weeks for oxygen. The move probably fucked that up like it does with most things, but she’s better now that she’s set up with new doctors and all that. It was scary for her being all alone and not knowing anyone well enough that she trusts to take care of Max and have access to her place. The girls and Mark will be down soon enough, I guess. The house is up for sale and Mark is officially retired. 

I was a little surprised she’d go to Dad’s grave. This is, after all, the man who allowed Mom to abuse us, and I’m sorry to say that his own “I’m sorry” came a bit late. I just can’t see having any respect, worshipping, admiring, defending or praising anyone who is either abusive themselves or who sits back (along with the bastard above) and lets it happen. But just because I feel a particular way doesn’t mean she has to, too. :) 

I would still rather have him and Larry in my home for an hour before I’d have Mom in here for a minute. I’m normally anti-revenge because it not only makes you look just as dumb and immature, but it’s a great way to get in trouble. However, if there’s such a thing as getting even with no consequences in the afterlife (if there is one) I’m going to rip that woman to shreds limb by limb. Guaranteed. :) 

She took a picture of the gravestone, which despite my hard feelings, was cool to see. Didn’t realize he’d been in Korea when he was in the Navy.

Went riding with Tom this morning. It was fun. He put lights on our bikes so I’ll do a night run sometime and see how well it lights up the road. The key is being able to see the speed bumps in advance, even though I have a pretty good idea of where they are. 

The moon was so big and bright yesterday morning. It is this morning too, but not like yesterday. As soon as we finished, Jim came out to make his rounds. 

Got good news from Paula. She’s cancer-free! Yay! I guess they killed the ovarian cancer that had returned and they found nothing scary in the uterus biopsy. I’m not surprised the news was good because the bad dreams stopped. I think the last dream was about the doctor’s discovering the suspicious spot. 

I have aches and cramps in my neck and my ear still bothers me at times. I’m getting sure it’s an allergy thing and that my inner tube is clogging up as opposed to the canal needing cleaning. Maybe I should try Claritin D again, even though it used to give me nightmares. 

Love that Amazon Prime members can now get free music. Been having fun checking out playlists, even though most of it can be heard on Jango and other places. 

I should start taking notes as soon as I get up, on what dreams I remember. I sometimes remember them at first, but then forget them later on when I go to do my journal entry. All I remember was ruining something I cooked at too high of a temperature, and eating at a picnic table with lots of people around at some resort when I realized I was naked. 

Later… 

Tom said that while he hates to admit it, cutting out the sugar has helped give him a lot more energy. He was able to go for a bike ride, trim trees, run errands, and help me change the rats’ cage all before noon. He’s Superman! 

As for me, he still thinks my body hasn’t adjusted to my meds yet, nor are the meds themselves adjusted, and that in 2-3 years I’ll be around 120 pounds, but I’ll believe it when I see it. I’m more worried about ensuring that I don’t gain any more than I am with losing right now. 

The uptick in ab work has helped not only ease up my backaches but has flattened my gut a bit and made mobility a bit easier. You’d think I’d know better by now than to slack off on these exercises. 

Unfortunately, I think I have a new cavity, but I’m not surprised. I just think the word cavity and I get them. 

How do spiders manage to appear out of nowhere? Just like that. One minute there’s nothing there, the next there they are. I got up, checked the walls by the toilet, parked my ass on the toilet, did my thing, then as I’m flushing the thing, there was this spider that was NOT there 30 seconds ago. 

So, since they seem to like to pick on the master suite the most, there’s no sense in bombing the whole place as we originally planned. First we’re going to spray the insides of the windows and under the sink. If that fails to back the creepy things off, we’ll do a full-fledged bombing. 

Since it’ll smell a bit for a while, we’re going to go out shopping. Just to someplace like Walgreens or something like that where he gets AARP discounts. 

While Molly still says a lot of crazy-funny shit in her blogs, it's rather sad and scary to hear her speak of wanting a baby. The bastard above would let a psycho like her breed, too. Mommy Dearest is trying to stop her from eloping with Josh, probably the one smart thing she’s ever done where her daughter’s concerned, besides tossing her in Marbridge. 

I’m just so glad that right now she has fellow group homies preoccupying her time and others to obsess over. I think that’s a big part of why she doesn’t visit my blogs every day. What I wonder is what’s going to happen when she finally does leave Marbridge? Will she go back to focusing on Alison and I then? I’m hoping that by then she’ll have a big enough “collection” of people to stalk and that she’ll never go back to being as fixated on me as she once was. Only time will tell.

I’m excited to get my new dresser today! We just won’t have the time to assemble it until tomorrow. 

Went out riding for 19 minutes and then spent another 10 or so doing ab work. 

Hopefully, next door won’t be coming and going so damn much today and puttering around in their garage doing whatever it is they were doing yesterday as it gets a bit distracting. These people are way too active for being in their 80s! 

Ordered the last of the wall stickers this morning and next I’ll be working for some erotic figurines I like. Still got my eye on that $87 doll, too.

Now I see why they described the sheets I won as “thin and slippery” They are sort of tissue paper-ish and almost have a satiny feel to them. No wonder they felt light in the package. Surprising for Macy’s, but still not bad. I still prefer flannel sheets to regular sheets. That can eventually be something I work for doing Turk work. I love it – I work, they pay. They pay for all my goodies. Nothing comes out of Tom’s checks, though I know he wouldn’t mind if I wanted to quit the Turk. 

My latest goodie, Jasmine, arrived yesterday. She’s a cute one. Not sure I’m going to get any more 18” dolls, though, or spare outfits. I was going to re-outfit Jasmine but instead, I kept her in it, took out her white hair ribbons and then put her ponytails in green elastics that matched the light green trim in her top. Then I polished her nails the same color. I was going to add a brunette, a redhead and a black doll to the two I’ve got, which are Asian and blond, but nah. There’s another more expensive doll made by the same company (Adora Friends) that I’m considering. She’s a 20” vinyl doll. 

I also want to grab the last of the wall stickers I want once I earn another $5, which will take no time at all. 

Later… 

Since beginning our diets, Tom’s up and I’m down. That’s a first, LOL. My skin has been softer since trading in the soda for water. Coincidence? 

Glad to see the sun finally poking through after a cloudy, windy morning. We went from intense heat to a cool spell. It almost looked like it might drizzle this morning and I was chilly as hell even in a sweatshirt. I almost wished I had gloves! 

This is my third run around the park and each time gets easier and takes less time. Maybe I should add some additional side streets. It’s just that there are some blind corners and unless it’s the middle of the night, there are lots of people and traffic I could run into during the daytime. It takes 15 minutes to go around the perimeters when mutt walkers, joggers, walkers, and bikers aren’t in the way. Traffic has to go around me, but I’m the one that has to go around the pedestrians, so they’re more of a pain than the traffic. If there were no speed bumps I’d make the circle in about 10 minutes. 

Biking is spoiling me! It’s so much more fun than walking and running that I haven’t done so since getting the bike. With the bike, I can go out in warmer temps because moving faster makes it seem windy. I don’t have to worry about any undies that may be loose, body parts or joints being jarred, and it doesn’t matter what shoes I wear. Hell, I could bike ride in heels. I really need to run at times, though, because some impact is actually good. Keeps the joints strong and works the hamstrings better than riding. 

Tom’s going to put bike lights on our bikes, though I don’t see when he’d ever ride at night. He crashes so early. 

Anyway, I hate stationary biking but love riding outdoors. I’d choose the treadmill over a stationary bike if those were my only choices. I almost never use the treadmill anymore, but if biking is going to be my main source of exercise, maybe I should run on it for at least 5-10 minutes a day. 

I’m not doing the ab challenge anymore because it’s way too intense. Maybe my core isn’t that tough or maybe I’m just too lazy to stick it out. Either way, I’m still doing the sit-ups, crunches, leg raises, and planks; just not in such extreme degrees. I do it till the muscle fatigues and don’t worry how many reps I did. 

Later… 

Finishing up with the laundry now. Fortunately, they haven’t turned our water off yet today. They did yesterday. This shit is escalating and it’s really irritating the fuck out of me. They said “occasionally” they have to turn it off, not “often.” I’m at the point where I’m afraid to shower in the daytime. 

Added about a hundred “memories” on Histofme consisting of pics and info on my dolls and collectibles. 

On the 25th I’ll have my first female exam in about 15 years. Not looking forward to that at all. Really hope the problem I’ve been having in that department is no big deal, too. It’s definitely not a yeast infection, whatever it is. 

As a kid, I’d often spend time at my cousins’ house. Their names were Lori and Lisa. We were around the same age. I liked their mother, my former Aunt June, but hated my Uncle Ronnie, my mother’s brother. Later I would come to lose my fondness for Lori and Lisa as well, but that’s a whole ‘nother story. 

The point is that last night I dreamed I was in their old ranch home in Massachusetts. I was in what was Lisa’s room, only the bed was by the window and they weren’t living there. I awoke alone one morning, and then heard a car pull up into the driveway. I pulled a corner of the shade up to peek outside. Then I heard young adult male voices and my dream self knew they were June’s grandsons. They were saying it was cold and that they thought the heat may be broken. Having just woken up, I wasn’t sure if it was really all that cold.